I am sitting here naked in my garage, well I have a pair of pantyhose on normally and another I cut the crotch out of and pulled over my head and used the legs as arms covering my upper body.
I wanted to tell you about the fun I had last night. I was horny as always as my sexless wife was sleeping on the couch. Wearing only my full slip, I wander out to the kitchen to see what I could find that was fun and satisfying. Looking in the pantry I found a fresh can of Crisco and then a banana. I took them out to the backyard and began to look for something to fuck with them. I found it, the cold cinder block wall and my wild imagination. I pulled the slip over my head exposing my whole body. I opened the Crisco and smeared half the can on my chest, belly, cock, balls, and under my crotch and