Before I go into the main portion of my diary entries, let me tell you a little about myself: I'm female and quite tall, 5'10" and a willowy 140 pounds with long light brown hair, C cup breasts and long legs. My body is a little hippy and men have always liked it a lot. However, I was also a "butter face ('she's hot, but her face!' for those of you who have never heard that term before)." In fact, my face looks like 30 miles of bad road. Because of my height with such an aesthetically challenged face on it, I often felt like Frankenstein and guys wouldn't even get near me when I was in high school or college.

I'm smart (164 IQ) and I eventually got my Phd from UC Berkeley in chemistry and went to work in a lab for a major petrochemical company in Southern California making excellent money. I had a great life in the material sense, but my personal life was non-existent. I went to the gym to keep myself in shape. I'm also rather anal about what I eat and so I'm not one of those women who uses junk food as a salve for their loneliness. I had seriously considered plastic surgery, but was too chicken to go  under the knife, fearing that a slip of the scalpel would actually make things worse. It's not like cosmetic surgeons have the greatest reputation as surgical technicians anyway, which is why there are so many horror stories out there concerning botched procedures.

When I hit the big three-oh (30), I went into an emotional tailspin and finally decided to commit suicide. By that time I was so angry at society for rejecting me that I was going to absolutely massacre myself as a sign of what its rejection had done to me. I started stealing chemicals from my workplace (which is easy to do; chemical plants have ridiculously lax security considering the substances they have on property). One Saturday several years ago, I threw a little of this, a little of that plus some stuff from household cleaners I had into a pot. I didn't measure amounts or anything and I can't remember everything I included now, either, but I mixed this pile of chemicals with boiling water intending to drink it and destroy my insides since my loneliness had ripped my heart out. Maybe it would even eat part of my body away, too.

Suddenly, the whole thing went up in flames and then vaporized, leaving my kitchen and dining room with this acrid cloud hanging near the ceiling. I also inadvertently got a good whiff of it and I was choking and gagging on it. Rather than sticking around and letting it kill me, I ran into my backyard hacking like I never had from the worst cold I had ever had before. I waited for the cloud to dissipate before I walked back in. By then, the will to off myself had vanished. When I went to grip the pot, not only had the nasty sauce I had created disappeared, but I noticed something else: I couldn't see my arms. I thought initially I might have lost them, but I could still feel them and I was able to pick the pot up (with the help of pot holders) and place it in the sink, where I rinsed cold water over it.

I ran into my bathroom after that to check whether or not there was any other damage to me. What I saw was an outfit with apparently nobody in it! What the fuck? I shed my clothes and I was gone. Well, at least as far as the mirror was concerned. Of course, the obvious fact was I was now invisible. The question was how long it was going to last and what side effects the virulent compound I had concocted to make what was supposed to be a suicide attempt happen would make me suffer.

Sunday came and went and I was still invisible. I woke up Monday and still I wasn't visible, so I called into work sick. Now if I phoned in sick again I was required by my employer to see a doctor and it's kinda tough to have someone examine you when you're completely can't be seen. Not only that, but I couldn't withdraw money from the bank in person, drive (think about it: a cop sees a car with no apparent driver; and that's before you get to the reaction of other drivers, who might be spooked by it, which could lead to tragedy) or get a job (nobody was going to pay somebody who they couldn't identify). I couldn't even go to the supermarket. This left me in a dilemma, especially financially. I had a mortgage and my savings would run out in pretty short order unless I did something to keep the money flowing. And I needed to eat.

Oh, and did I mention that I had to walk around naked all the time? Otherwise, it would look like a collection of clothing operating under its own power and people would no doubt try to grab it and unintentionally rip it off of me. Fortunately, Southern California is warm most of the year, but if I have to go out on cold days being invisible is not fun. The good thing is that I can be out all day at the beach and not burn. And my pee and number twos are totally visible for some reason. That's probably the weirdest quirk of this whole thing.

The eating part turned out to be easier than I thought it would: I would walk into the backrooms of supermarkets at night just before they closed, load some food into a bag, run like hell out the backdoor and take it home. Not very efficient, but it's kept me alive.

I also hacked into my now former company's computer system using a proxy server and reprogrammed it so that I would keep getting money auto deposited into my account. I also use online banking to pay my bills. At some point, though, even as horrendous as my former employer's security was, I'm going to be found out and they will send the police after me. THAT will be interesting. You can't arrest what you can't see. My credit cards were all just recently automatically renewed. That's always pretty funny.

As for my sex life, well, I will be talking a lot about that, but suffice to say that the lack of attention from both males and females (yes, I'm bisexual) made me desperately want it. As careful as I was leading the rest of my life, my sexual desires were pretty unhinged. I think it was my way of seeking some liberation and validation. Whatever the case, rarely a night went by, even when I was on my period, where I didn't masturbate, and sometimes I would do that as many as three times a day. In addition, I would have the most intense sexual dreams, including hardcore rape fantasies. What I think the latter was about was that I wanted men to be so hot for me that they would want to ravage me right then and there.

A couple of weeks after I became invisible and thus concluded that it wasn't changing soon, I was laying in bed masturbating, thinking about this kid I used to babysit back when I was in high school. Even after I was too busy with my graduate studies to babysit him anymore, I maintained a relationship with his family because they lived just down the block from me. Let's call the boy Thomas since I don't want to cause him any grief with this story. He eventually grew into a 6'3" 200 pound 17 year old with a body that was the product of his workouts for his basketball and baseball teams. While I frigged my clit, I pictured me down on my knees sucking his big cock off and then having him take me hard from behind. The taboo nature of this fantasy made me cum so intensely I thought I would faint.

That fantasy made me continue to think of him. You know how some of the incidents where female teachers were involved with their juvenile students had been blamed, in part, on issues the teacher may have had when she was in high school herself? I was beginning to understand that the more I thought about him. I also knew that he was an extraordinarily heavy sleeper. You could set off a wad of C4 outside his door and he wouldn't even flinch. The idea of being with him became an obsession and less than a week after that masturbation session, I was standing in front of his door around 2 p.m. naked and followed him inside when he came home from school, watching his totally fine ass flex when he went upstairs. We entered his bedroom and he kicked back on the bed and turned his tv on. I slid into bed next to him and smelled his scent.

He then noticed the smell of the soap and shampoo I had used before I went over to his place. "What's that smell?" he said, talking to himself. The window was open, so he apparently wrote it off to something that wafted in on the gentle breeze that was blowing in. After a while, he went to his computer desk and called up Fucktube. He pushed his shorts off. He went commando and so his cock instantly popped out. When he had stroked it to the fullest extent of his erection, he was almost eight inches and very thick. I became super wet and started fingering myself as I watched this beautiful boy pleasuring himself to footage of a couple doing the wild thing. It probably took him less than ten minutes to spurt a stream of cum  on to his stomach and I had a shuddering orgasm. Of course, I had to suppress vocalizing it. God, I wanted him inside me so bad!

A friend of his came over a little bit later and they played a video game while I sat on his bed, unbeknownst to the both of them, fingering myself while I thought about his masturbation session and even both boys double teaming me. I arose and stood directly in front of Thomas while he sat on the floor next to his buddy with his video game controller and placed my pussy practically in his face. He flinched a couple of times when I got too close, perhaps feeling my pubic hair. I wondered if he could smell my girl cum soaked pussy. I so wanted to touch him! I so wanted him to lick me! I so wanted him to bury his big cock inside me! My fingers found my clit again and as he concentrated on the screen, I flicked my little nubbin and had an earth shattering climax that just about knocked the wind out of me. I couldn't help crying out. "Dude, you hear that?" Tommy's friend said. "Yeah man. You think Brandy's getting fucked right now?" Brandy was his next door neighbor." "I don't know dude, but shit," he remarked with an incomplete thought. "I'd definitely like to hit that pussy myself," the friend enthused. "No shit, man," Tommy agreed. "I'd tear that shit up."

The friend left shortly before Thomas's family had dinner and then he went out again, though I have no idea where. I waited for him to get home, sitting on the chair in front of his desk and reading some news sites and even commenting on the stories. When I heard him coming up the stairs just after 10, I quickly cleared his cache so he wouldn't know anyone was using his computer and then hustled over to a corner of the room. He took his shoes, socks and shirt off and went to take a shower. I followed him into the bathroom and peeked around the shower curtain to watch the water cascade off of his muscular body. Yes, I rubbed myself to another orgasm. He opened the curtain and grabbed the towel he had brought with him and dried himself off. I couldn't take my eyes off of his formidable dangler. My pussy was now so engorged with blood and hot from my horniness that I wanted him to just rape the shit out of me right there.

I had a thought and left the bathroom while he was combing his hair and shaving. I crouched down not very comfortably in the space where the chair goes in his computer desk. It turned out to be a sound bet. When he came back to his room, he immediately plopped himself down into that chair and dialed up some more internet porn and began to wack it. My mind was drifting away as I smelled his freshly cleaned body and viewed his hard flesh drill right in front of my eyes. I occasionally flicked my tongue at it, causing him to shiver. But he was so lost in his own lust that he didn't notice anything unusual. Pretty soon, I heard some strangled grunts of "Oh fuck!" and I opened my mouth hoping to taste him. Unfortunately, he rolled the chair out a little further from the desk and splashed his stomach again with his semen. "Shit!" I thought to myself. He used the towel that had just minutes before sopped up the water from his shower as a cum rag and he leaped into bed. I stayed in that small space for another hour before he finally turned the light out and went to sleep.

I pushed the chair out far enough so that I could crawl out of that space under the desk. I sat next to him and bent my head down over his and stroked it with my righthand while my breasts dangled on to his side and arms. "You're such a big boy now, Thomas," I cooed. "So how many girls have you fucked already with that dick?" I whispered lasciviously. I gingerly pulled his boxers off of him and he barely moved, but there was his limp cock totally exposed for my use, though it was in the dark. I crawled on to the bed and lovingly stroked it for a couple of minutes, tracing its topography with my fingers. He responded almost immediately, as it straightened and thickened. I ran my tongue over the bottom of it and even tasted some precum from the head. My tongue trailed back down and I buried my mouth in between his balls, using the tip of my tongue to lick upward back to his cockhead and then back down. It was almost at full mast now and I gently grasped it and engulfed it with my mouth. I greedily sucked and licked it and he moaned sleepily. At that point, I didn't care if he woke up as my head bobbed up and down with passion. He woke up just before he unburdened his balls for the third time that day, giving me a nice mouthful of his warm, thick and surprisingly tasty manjuice.

He was well out of it, though, and, as soon as I extricated my mouth from his pole, he went right back to a deep sleep. By then, my pussy was throbbing like a beast. I straddled his face and oh so slowly lowered my drenched love furnace on to his lips. He licked me a couple of times instinctively, but that was it. That only made me want him more. I eased myself back to the edge of the bed and sucked on his balls and the base of his penis because I didn't know how sensitive the head would be that soon after he had gotten off. I continued doing that until I saw his unit rising again. I glided my tongue up and down his full length over and over and over until he was at just about full extension. I walked on the bed as lightly as I could and squatted over his dick with my legs on either side of him. I took it between my index and middle fingers and pointed it at my opening. I was about to have him take my virginity at age 30! I also wondered how many other girls' virginity he may have claimed. I dropped my hips and impaled myself on his lovely manhood . Fuck, it hurt! I gritted my teeth as I attempted to deal with the pain. I slipped my pussy further down and the stinging amplified. It was like somebody had stuck a double bladed knife up me and was twisting the blade. Not only that, but I could feel blood trickling out of me. I eventually worked it all the way into me and sat there while my vaginal muscles adjusted to the full penetration by his gorgeous weapon. I felt stuffed. I started pumping my hips up and down and winced through the pain. As time passed, it was becoming easier to cope with  I tried not to put too much weight on him while I balanced myself with my hands on his chest. As I felt the first jolts of pleasure, I started to lose myself and, before I knew it, I was bouncing up and down on his fuck stick with a vengeance and being shaken to the core by an orgasm. It was so difficult to suppress my panting! Oh my God, it felt so amazing I can't describe it! I rode him to another orgasm after that and then he woke up, but I didn't give a shit. Once he was half conscious, he began to feel the pleasure the friction from my pussy provided to him and he blasted big globs of sperm against my cervix.

When he was done, I rose up off of him and jumped off the bed. "What the fuck?" he blurted  Seeing nothing there, though, he just rolled over and went back to dreamland. I ran into the bathroom and cleaned the blood and cum off of my groin and thighs. I was lucky I didn't get pregnant. I wasn't on the pill because I had despaired of ever being able to experience sex. So the next day, I went to a pharmacy and stole somebody's prescription. That isn't the best thing to do because women aren't all hormonally the same. Usually, it's turned out to be fine for me, thought not always. When it isn't, it can really suck, believe me.

The experience of being fucked, or fucking someone else in this case, I guess, was amazing and I wanted it again. The fact that I had to walk around all the time, even outdoors, naked, put me more in touch with my sexuality than I had ever been. The foregoing was only the beginning.