Games We Play , Part ThreeSeeing Manny’s Dick

I felt different about Manny after Shirley told me what he said to her. I couldn’t look at him the same way when he came over Saturday for visitation with his dad. I made sure I didn’t stay in a room alone with him. He had greasy black hair that fell in his eyes and he was terrible at algebra. I was better at math than he was! I wanted to punch him and tell him what I knew that he asked to lick Shirley’s cooter, but at the same time, I wanted to ask him if he really said it. I wanted to make him pinky swear that he was telling the truth. And I wanted to know how he got the idea. I wanted to know if he thought about doing stuff like that to me.

The next month, it was time for Manny to live at our house. His daddy had custody for a month in the summer. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do about his dirty little secret, but every night when I was trying to fall asleep, I couldn’t stop thinking about having him show me his dick, and wondering if I could get him to lick on my cooter. I played the rubbing game under the covers a lot while I thought about that.

The first afternoon at our house, Manny and I were in the den playing Trouble. He snapped the dice bubble and the dice rattled around. He moved his green cone-shaped man along the route on the game board. I was winning and he was getting annoyed. He kept sighing and slammed his pieces around. I had to reposition my pieces every time he knocked them over.

"Stop it.!" I finally said to him under my breath. "I know something bad that you did, and if you don’t knock it off, I’m gonna tell."

He froze. "What’re you talking about?"

I had a mysterious little look on my face as I popped the dice bubble and moved my red cone-shaped man into "home."

"You’re cheating!" he insisted again.

"No, I’m not." I said quietly. "I know what you said to Shirley. And I know that you know what I’m talking about."

He forced the bubble down until it popped, and he moved his pieces.

I guess he wasn’t going to talk about it.

"I know you asked if you could lick her cooter."

He glared at me and pounded the game board. The pieces went flying. He jumped up and ran into the bathroom. He slammed the door.

I picked up the game pieces and folded the board to put it in the box. I put the box up on the shelf next to the TV.

I went over to the bathroom. I quietly knocked on the door. "Manny, let me in," I said. "I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your house in." I tried to laugh.

He stayed in the bathroom with the door locked.

"If you let me in, I won’t tell your Mama."

The handle turned and the door swung open.

"So you did say it." I said. He was sitting on the floor in the corner with his hands covering his face. "I almost told Shirley she was wrong. That she had to be lying, that you would never say that, but I wanted to talk to you first."

He didn’t say anything.

"Manny, I wanna talk to you," I said, "but not in here. Don’t stay in here too long, or your daddy’s gonna think something’s up." I turned on my heel and walked out of the bathroom. "I’ll be up in the tree."

I climbed up the apple tree to my favorite reading spot. At the beginning of summer, Manny’s daddy wedged a triangle of plywood up in the tree so I could sit. I found a little nook where I stuck my paperback. I sat there in my hideout and tried to read. Truth was, I couldn’t focus on the page. Manny asked to lick Shirley’s cooter. I had an image in my head of Manny’s face, smeared with the juices of Shirley’s tight hole, and the fluttery ridges of her pussy lips. I thought of Shirley with her head back and her eyes closed as she bucked her hips up and down, making his tongue rub against her harder. Then faster. I wondered if he even knew that he could slide his finger up inside that hole. I wondered if he thought about sticking his dick inside that hole.

My own cooter started feeling funny. I wanted to throw my legs open and look down there and poke my own finger inside. I clamped my legs together. What was I thinking? I imagined Manny’s hair falling in his eyes as he sucked on my bump. I got off my plywood perch and straddled the branch of the apple tree. I liked the ridges of the branch clamped between my legs. I wanted to rock my hips back and forth like Shirley seemed to know how to do and rub against the hardness of the bark. I sat still, afraid to follow my thoughts into these wild places.

"What’d you want to talk about?"

I looked down and Manny was standing at the base of the tree.

"Come on up!" I tossed the rope ladder over the edge so he could climb up.

I moved over on the platform. There was room for both of us. Barely. I sat as close to the branch as I could. My heart was racing. Would I have the guts to say what I wanted to say?

He clamored up and sat down beside me. He’d never come up in the tree before. I’d never invited him. He swung his legs over the edge of the platform.

"This is cool." He looked out and could see into three other backyards besides ours. Sometimes the girl in the third yard came out and suntanned with her top off. I think she was a senior. I wondered what Manny would think if he could watch that.

I sat beside him. I was too chicken. "Well. I don’t really know what I want to talk to you about. I can’t believe you wanted to do that."

"It was a crazy thing to say. I didn’t think she would ever do it."

"Oh."

He stood up and sprung to grab a higher branch. He tried to climb higher in the tree. The branch started bending under his weight. There was a slight cracking sound.

"Watch out!" I said, "You can’t really go up any higher. Well not much."

He landed on the plywood beside me. He wouldn’t look me in the eye. "What did you want to talk about?"

"Well..." I laid awake in the dark of night and imagined this moment. Now I couldn’t imagine telling him my crazy thoughts. I didn’t have the nerve.

"I...I...I can’t really get the thought of it out of my head." I finally told him. "Not since I heard about it. You know what I mean?"

He stuffed his hands into his pockets.

"I kinda lay in bed at night, and...I just keep thinking about it." I stared at the page of my book, but I wasn’t seeing a word on the page. I couldn’t remember what the story was even about.

"So what’s that s’posed to mean?" he said. "What’s that have to do with me?"

"Well Manny, I was kinda thinking that we could have a deal. I mean, if you’re thinking about things like that, and I’m thinking about things like that...."

He turned to face me for the first time and I didn’t know how to read the look on his face. He stepped off the platform to the first rung of the ladder. He jumped down to the ground and ran off.

I didn’t know what to think. That wasn’t how I wanted our little talk to go. Was he going to tell his dad? I felt kind of cold, wondering what I would do if my mother found out what I said to him. I thought about what it would be like to spend the rest of the summer grounded in my room.

Oh, but he didn’t have any room to tattle. What I said to him wasn’t even close to being as dirty as what he said to Shirley. Or was it?

I sat in the tree and pretended to read my book. I was glad no one had X-ray eyes and could see the dirty thoughts that I was having. I covered my face with my hands and just lay back against the branch. What was going on with me?

 

Mama stepped out the back door at dinnertime and hollered for me to come into the house. I sat at the table and stared at my plate. Manny sat across from me. We didn’t look at each other. I passed my plate to Mama who spooned some mashed potatoes and gravy on it. It was all I could do pretend to eat. I mixed peas in the mashed potatoes and hoped no one would notice.

Manny didn’t say much either.

Mama and Manny’s dad didn’t notice. I guess they were mad at each other. Mama said that was never a bad thing. She said that she and Manny’s dad were still getting used to each other, and they were trying to work out "parameters." I didn’t know what that meant, but from what I could tell, it happened after Mama got mad at something Manny’s daddy said.

After dinner, I went to my room and no one bothered me.

I wondered if Manny and I were trying to work out "parameters."

It was three days before Manny and I found ourselves alone together. He still didn’t want to talk to me and I was trying to act like I didn’t notice. Pretend it didn’t happen and it will all go away.

Then we were sitting together in the back of the PT Cruiser and Mama got out of the car to mail something in the post office. She told us to wait in the car.

"So what did you want to do?" He spoke so quietly I wasn’t sure I’d heard him.

I looked at him. His head was down and I fought the urge to tell him that he needed to cut his hair.