I distinctly remember the day I lost my virginity. It was at my bar mitzvah ( I was 18), which was the day I became a man in both my faith and in the ways of the flesh. At the after party was when we began eying each other.

Ruth was a peenuckle playing friend of my grandmothers, but we would soon make acquaintance as well. I, a young man with horrible gingivitis and she, a still handsome woman whose looks had seen better days.

I approached her and we began conversing. The words flowed from our mouths as naturally as a stream of healthy urine from cockapoodle's urethra.

“Hello Ruth, I'm very glad you could make it,” I greeted her.

“Well I heard about your aunt and I felt I had to come give my condolences to you Jeremy.”

My aunts health is perfectly fine, and further more my name is not Jeremy. An awkward moment passed as I realized there was a very real chance Ruth may be drifting into senility. That's when she came out and asked what we were both thinking.

“Wanna bang?”

Within minutes we were in a bathroom stall and I was ensconced in her big saggy boobies, pawing and nibbling to my hearts delight. Although it was a crowded restroom with about ten different people using the urinals and adjoining stalls, we made absolutely no effort to muffle our love making. Her calls of “Oh Richard!” (my name isn't Richard) and my cries of pain as her talons dug into my back echoed off the walls. Within moments I loudly splooged all over the place, collapsing from the sheer ecstasy of the whole ordeal. However short though, I will never forget the greatest couple seconds of my life.