Having finished writing, I was eager to refresh my still wonderful memories of the first encounter I had ever had with a woman. She was the one who showed me how beautiful it can be to touch a body much like my own, yet completely different. She was the one I still thought of frequently, wondering whatever happened to her.

 

I flipped back almost to the beginning of my diary. MBOJFKAX – May 1986 was what I was looking for.

 

----

 

PERMINDA – May 1986

 

Bumming around and living out of a suitcase, or a backpack as the case may be is a very tiresome business. At the very least it’s dangerous and full of uncertainty. I have been on the road for less than six months and have indulged in so many vices and luxuries that I have ran out of money already. Too proud to ask my parents for some money, certain that if I did they would only have sent me a one-way plane ticket, destination US, I have started looking for some sort of a job.

 

As luck would have it, I walked into the “Red Lion” Pub in Wormley, a small town in Hertfordshire, and seeing the “HELP NEEDED” sign, I inquired after the employment and was hired on the spot. After a day of crash course in pulling pints and mixing drinks, I ended up behind the bar and had remained here for almost three months now.

 

I had proven myself to be reliable and pretty good with customers and have landed the big money making shifts, mainly Friday and Saturday nights, when pubs are absolutely chock-a-block with people eating and drinking.

 

I have even managed to make a few acquaintances and on some nights after the pub closes, I go out to a club, dancing my head off and drinking myself into a stupor. The years of serious study are waiting patiently for me and I had decided that I would spend the next few months partying as much as I could, meeting different people and enjoying myself to the max.

 

I have been very careful not to mess around with anyone, as this is the last thing on my mind right now. Bad experience with Duke and another one with a guy called Tony had made me believe that maybe I should wait. Plenty of time for sex, yet.

 

But, never say never, as the saying goes, I proved myself totally wrong the minute I decided not to keep my hopes up in the sex department.

 

Two evenings ago, just as the manager was ringing the last call, a group of girls that I had befriended walked in, shouting hellos and waving wildly. “Hey, Nik!” yelled Maureen, a tall redhead with a horsy face who was always the light of the party. “We came to take you with us, Nik! We’re going to Lancaster’s.”

 

I didn’t feel much like clubbing on that particular night. I was very tired and had hoped for some peaceful rest for a change. Just as I was about to say no, I saw another girl in their midst, one I have never seen and who had caught my eye immediately.

 

She was a short and slim East Indian girl with thick black hair, hanging in a ponytail down to her mid back. Despite the general happiness and silliness with which the rest of the girls were carrying on, she was somewhat somber and quiet. She was so small that she might have easily been missed in the crowd. Until, that is, one looked into her face. Big, dark brown eyes and thick black eyebrows, giving her the look of seriousness and beauty. She wasn’t laughing out loud, but the smile never left her pretty face.

 

“All right, I just have to finish here.” I changed my mind, not quite knowing why. With hardly any experience in heart matters, I felt an instant attraction to the girl.

 

“It’s the last call, girls.” I tried to over shout the patrons of the pub. “You’d better decide quickly.”

 

“Five lager shandies, Nik!” yelled Amy, equally struggling to be heard.

 

“No,” said the beautiful girl, who by now had sat on the bar stool directly in front of me. “I’ll take one with no shandy, thank you.”  

 

I pulled the pints and placed the requested one in front of the girl who held my interest. “Are you with that lot?” I asked smiling.

 

She rolled her eyes. “Yeah.” We both giggled and I felt a warm feeling inside my body. A shiver went up my spine, and my heart seemed to have sped up a little. I tried hard to make myself believe that it was just her beauty that I admired, just the aesthetic look, nothing more.

 

“I’m Paddy, by the way.” She extended her hand, shaking mine with a firm, warm grip.

 

“I’m Nikkie.” I said. “Wait! Paddy?” she nodded. “I thought that was a guy’s name.” I asked confused.

 

“Well, it’s Perminda, really. But nobody here seems to have enough wits to remember it properly, so they call me Paddy.” She explained in a thick cockney accent.

 

Perminda – a name just as beautiful as the girl whom it belonged. It rolled softly on my tongue and I made a mental note not to forget it.

 

“Well, I’ll remember it.” I said and noticed her watching me carefully, as if looking for a sign of mockery.  

 

Half an hour later, the bar cleaned up and the doors safely locked, I found the five girls waiting for me in the parking lot at the front. “We’re taking a taxi, Nikkie.” Said Maureen. I was fine with that; I didn’t want to worry about who was too drunk to drive and whether I’ll make it back alive and in one piece. By the look of it, they have all had enough to drink already.

 

When we arrived at the Lancaster’s I was grateful for the opportunity to relax and have a drink myself. The girls were chatting constantly, discussing their private lives of which I didn’t know much about, as we were not true friends, we just hung out together sometimes. Like me, I noticed Perminda did not engage in conversation much. She sort of swayed in her seat in synchronicity with the rhythm, but refused to go out into the dance floor, just like me.  

 

From time to time I would catch her looking at me intently and each time she would give me a smile and look away, sipping on her drink. Pretty soon, everybody seemed to be seriously drunk, including me.

 

The fatigue that I felt when still working had crept back and all of a sudden I felt too tired to be bothered with loud music and friendliness. I decided I would head for my little room above the pub where I worked and get the rest my body needed.

 

As I got up, finishing my drink, Amy grabbed me by the arm. “Finally decided to dance, have you?”

 

“No, no.” I smiled and looked at Perminda. “I’m going home, I’m tired.”

 

“Aw…” Amy and Penny whined in a chorus. “It’s early.”

 

I was adamant. Tired enough to have difficulty in keeping my eyes open, nothing could have persuaded me otherwise.

 

“Hold on.” said Perminda. “I just have to go to the loo and then we can share a taxi.”

 

Before I could say anything she jumped up and walked away. Amy giggled and nudged me under the ribs, whispering in my ears. “You know she’s a lezzie, right?”

 

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. “Oh, Amy, really!”

 

“She is!” continued Amy. “And Maureen has been trying to get into her pants for ages. Just for fun.” She giggled again. “No luck, though.” With that, she walked away. My heart skipped a beat. Was that really what I wanted? And if so, how would I approach her? I had absolutely no experience, especially with girls.

 

A minute later, Perminda was standing next to me, holding both of our jackets, motioning me to follow. We found a row of taxis waiting in front of the club, happy to escape the long wait in the chilly drizzle.

 

“Where are you going?” I asked Perminda as the taxi pulled off and headed towards Wormley.

 

“I could take a train to London, that’s where I live.” She said, and I nodded.   “Or,” she looked at me, “I could crash at your place, as I’m in no state to travel at this time of night.”

 

I felt a sickening feeling of discomfort, yet again I simply nodded. The question of me having guests in my room never arouse with my landlord and the pub’s manager as had never had any. I hoped everybody was asleep and we wouldn’t be spotted sneaking in.

 

“Oh God,” said Perminda when we entered my room and she plopped on the bed. “I’m knackered.”

 

“Yeah, me too.” I agreed. Fatigue was getting the better of me and I believed that I would be asleep the instant my head hit the pillow. “I need to take a shower, though.” I said and Perminda cringed. “I hate the smell of cigarettes in my hair, it drives me absolutely berserk.”

 

As I was reaching for my pajamas in the drawer, I looked into the mirror above the cabinet and saw she was taking her clothes off. I staggered into the bathroom and took a long, hot shower, trying to exorcise some of the alcohol and clear my head. My hair smelling of wild berries and my skin of freshly scented, I turned off the light in a small bathroom expecting Perminda to be fast asleep.

 

It was a pleasant surprise to find her sitting in bed, browsing through one of my books. When she saw me enter, she put it away and slid deeper into bed.

 

“I’m afraid it’s a bit tight.” I said, motioning to a twin bed, which was not meant for two people.

 

“It’s alright, I don’t mind.” She said and flipped the cover to make space for me. The sight of her small but muscular, completely naked body lying between my sheets, had taken me aback for a second. I stood still, not knowing what to do.

 

“I thought that was what you wanted.” She said, looking at me seductively.

 

She was right, somewhere in the back of my mind I did want it to happen, but now faced with it, I was lost. She had loosened her hair, which now her shoulders and breasts, making her look like a beauty from an old black-and-white movie.

 

Where I gathered the courage to slowly take my pajamas off before crawling into bed, I will never know, but that is exactly what I did. She scooted over a bit, giving me more space and as I lay next to her, she covered me carefully, hugging me with one arm and pressing her soft skin against mine.

 

I laid like that, Perminda next to me, supporting herself on the elbow, looking into my eyes. “You’ve never been with a woman?” she asked and I shook my head, as I was afraid I couldn’t utter a word without croaking like a bird.

 

She smiled warmly and lowered her face towards mine, her lips almost touching mine, but not quite. I could feel her breath on my face, both of us looking at each other. The moment was very arousing; I could feel a tingle in my belly.

 

Perminda put her hand on my hair and caressed it gently, kicking the cover off us, her face still hovering over mine. “I want to see you.” She said, as we lay naked and uncovered, our bodies hot with desire.

 

As she finally pressed her lips on mine, a moan escaped me. It seemed like I had been waiting for that moment forever. She tasted fresh, despite all the alcohol she had drunk. Her kiss was gentle, her hand combing through my hair, her lips enveloping mine.

 

“Are you sure about this?” she asked when she broke the kiss and before she finished the question I replied with a ‘yes’. At that particular moment I wanted it more than anything else in the world.  

 

Her face almost touching mine, I felt her hand slide off my hair and down my shoulders, cupping my breast, squeezing it gently and rubbing the nipple, giving it a slight pinch. I was very aware of every move she made, each one the lightest touch on my skin only to turn into a powerful squeeze. She had more strength than her small body would make one believe.

 

Her lips leaving mine, she slowly kissed her way down my neck, pausing on each nipple, sucking it softly, her eyes holding mine in a steady gaze. Her hand continued down   my belly, touching it so softly it made me shiver in discomfort, which seemed to amuse Perminda and she giggled. Her fingers continued over my Venus mound, down one thigh to the knee and then back up, only to give the same attention to the other one.

 

I had spread my legs slightly, inviting her to reach between them and feel the wetness of my swollen pussy, but she seemed to ignore it. Now, she covered my belly with her kisses, slipping the tongue inside my belly button, continuing down the thighs, following the same path her fingers had taken just seconds ago.

 

With a very poor experience in sex I had never been teased like that before and I was almost certain that were she to touch my clit, using fingers or tongue, I would cum instantly, my body was that turned on. The only person who had ever brought me to an orgasm was myself and the odd feeling of someone else’s power over it was ecstatic, yet freaky.

 

I couldn’t stand the teasing anymore and I sat up, pushing her off me and onto the bed, so that now she was lying in front of me. Her body was small, yet muscular, she must have been working out. Her small breasts were firm and the olive toned skin soft beyond any I have touched before.

 

For a moment I knelt beside her, perfectly still, enjoying the beautiful sight. She could easily have put on a bikini at any time during the year and proudly walked around without sucking her belly in or pushing her breasts out.

 

“What’s the matter?” she asked when I haven’t moved for a while.

 

I shook my head and smiled. “Nothing, I just want to look at you. I want to remember your body, just like I’ll remember your name forever.” I said and we giggled at the private joke.

 

I put the palm of my hand flat on her stomach, covering the belly button and my touch was just as arousing to me as hers was before. I rubbed her belly in gentle, circling motions and was pleased to see her close her eyes and moan softly. I must have been doing something right.

 

I ran my hand up her body and for the first time in my life, I touched a woman’s breast, the feeling familiar, yet strange. I squeezed it gently and leaned over, licking on the nipple as if it was a blob of whipped cream, sucking into it like a little babe.

 

At the same time I felt Perminda lift her butt off the bed, inviting me to reach between her legs, exactly like I wanted her to do to me before. My willpower was not as strong as hers; I couldn’t tease her or myself like she did. Still sucking onto her nipple, the free hand slid down her belly and over the mound, covered in carefully shaved design, leaving most of it bare, but for a small triangle of soft black hair.  

 

I spread my fingers into a V, two and two together, massaging her pussy lips, careful not to touch the clit. If she teased me, she must like it on herself, too, I thought and was glad to hear her soft moan of protest. I rubbed her lips gently at first, increasing the pace slowly, still sucking onto her nipples.

 

My own pussy swollen and wet prevented me to keep my legs together and I had to spread my knees or it would have become uncomfortable. All I wanted to do was to taste her, touch her clitty with my tongue, and suck onto it in a way that I had been touched before, only it was by a man. I believed I could do a job just as well if not better. I knew exactly what a woman wanted, at least what my preferences were. Gentle licking replaced by a powerful sucking, and yet, not trying to bite the little thing off. Rough sex feels good, but the clitty always appreciates tenderness rather than brutality.

 

Finally, I pushed her legs apart and knelt in between, awarded with a splendid look at her cherry red pussy, which was a deep contrast to her otherwise olive complexion. The sight was absolutely intoxicating. I heard Perminda gasp and she shot her ass up again, another invitation to do what I wanted to so much.

 

I placed my index fingers onto her pussy lips and spread them up even more, the clitty now completely exposed, deep red mound offered to me by a beautiful girl. I lowered my face towards it and for the first time in my life caught a whiff of a clean pussy. When I gently touched it with my tongue, as if only to taste it, she thrashed wildly and almost hit me in the face with her pussy.

 

She grabbed my hair roughly and pulled me onto her, indicating that I should not stop now. I licked and sucked, tasting her tarty but sweet juices, feeling her pelvis sway in the rhythm with my tongue. She moaned and so did I, one of my hands sliding onto my own pussy, massaging it softly, just as it did Perminda’s a few minutes before.

 

I must have stayed there good twenty minutes; the uncomfortable position of kneeling between her legs caused my back to hurt and feet go numb. I didn’t want to stop, but I felt that if I didn’t I was going to give myself a cramp. Just as I was about to change positions, she grabbed onto my hair again, pulling my face free of her pussy.

 

“I’m so close, Nik. So close…” she motioned me to straighten up and I did so, grateful to be able to prevent an embarrassing situation taking place.

 

She grabbed the hand that had been between my legs just moments before and pushed my middle and ring fingers deep into her mouth. She sucked on them, making sure they were completely wet with her saliva. Then she grabbed my hand with both of hers and bent the two wet fingers, extending the ones on each side.

 

“Put them in, just like that.” She whispered and I didn’t need to be told twice. I pushed gently, keeping the other hand on her clit, gently circling. Perminda half sat up, grabbing my arm and ramming my fingers in as deep as they would go. She obviously liked it hard and I obliged.

 

I rubbed against the small rough spot just above the entrance of her pussy, knowing that would make her cum. “Harder, Nik!” she gasped and fucked my fingers. “Oh God, oh God…” she yelled. “I’m so close…”

 

I continued pushing and rubbing inside her pussy, lifting her ass off the bed with my two fingers, afraid that I might hurt her, but judging by her reaction, I was doing quite the opposite. I can’t really tell how erotic this scene would be to a bystander. The gentility of lovemaking was gone, only to be replaced by rough masturbation of this slight woman, which she obviously enjoyed immensely.

 

“Oh, yeah…” she gasped and half sat up. “All the way in, all the way…”

 

I finger fucked her as hard as I could, feeling sweat beads gathering on my forehead, despite the coldness of the room.

 

Suddenly, she pushed hard with her feet against the bed, lifting her pelvis high in the air, her pussy muscles clamping onto my fingers tight, desperate gasps of pleasure mixed with moans and groans. I kept pumping my fingers in and out, this time however, softly, as if to pacify her thrashing body, not quite willing to leave the warm and soft pussy yet. She was cumming all over my fingers, her body swaying gently now, as if moved by a soft breeze. Her orgasm was much longer than any of mine had ever been and I jealously tapped her clitty.

 

She lay in front of me, her legs spread wide, knees now resting on the bed, gasping for air and rubbing her own breasts. “Fuck, that was good.” she said and smiled.

 

“Come here,” she said and this time put her own middle and ring fingers inside her mouth, coating them with her spit, pushing the pillows off the bed so that her head was flat on the sheet. “Sit over me.” she commanded and I did as I was told.

 

As soon as my pussy was over her face she clamped her lips onto my clit without any foreplay, pushing two of her fingers deep inside of me. Having just made her cum and seeing her pleasure was arousal enough. I was ready for anything.  

 

The spot that she was paying all her attention to seemed to become the center of my conscious universe. Nothing else mattered, nothing else was real. The realization that I am about to cum with someone else’s fingers inside my pussy, not my own made the whole thing even more arousing.

 

Unlike me, it had taken Perminda bare few minutes and the spot inside my pussy began tingling, seemingly spreading, reaching down my legs, causing them to wobble dangerously, above my waist, over the breasts and into my head, making my head spin. I yelped, trying not to make a sound loud enough to be heard by anyone in the house. Fat chance of that, I think. The walls seem to be made of paper.

 

I shivered and moved my pussy on her mouth even after her fingers slid out of it and she continued to suck. The feeling of exhilaration gone, it was replaced by an unpleasantness as my clit had become oversensitive to stimulation and I tried to stop her, lifting my knee of the bed in order to get off her face. She wouldn’t let me though. She grabbed my hips and pulled them down roughly, placing my pussy back onto her mouth.

 

“This doesn’t feel good now…” I gasped, holding onto the headboard, trying hard not to fall down on her face.

 

“Just wait a moment.” She paused sucking for a moment. “You’ll see.”

 

The smacking sound of her lips and tongue against my clit resumed and I was amazed at how right she was. Unpleasantness soon turned into a feeling of pleasure and within another minute, my clit exploded in the same volcano of enjoyment as my pussy had before.

 

“Oh Paddy,” I gasped, conscious of the verbal muck up. I simply could not think straight. “Oh, yes. Yes, yes, yes…”

 

Still, she didn’t let me go. One more orgasm later, each seemingly stronger than the previous one, I finally managed to pull myself off her and plop heavily on the bed next to her.

 

“You’re amazing!” I said, barely able to catch my breath.

 

“I know.” She said without any modesty and giggled. I wasn’t in the mood for giggles; my mind was still orgasming even if my body had stopped.

 

I believe that a few seconds later I was fast asleep, and so was Perminda. The night full of passion and pleasure will be something I will remember forever.

 

----

 

I smiled to myself. I still remembered everything exactly as it had happened. I had met with Perminda a few times after that, always in London, usually for nothing else but a roll between the sheets. She had taught me so much of my own body as well as hers.

 

I wondered whatever happened to her. I wouldn’t have minded another crazy night with her. Or any time of the day, for that matter.