That particular night I planned to just sit back and relax. I had a
bottle
of wine and it was warm enough I could have left all my clothes off
if I
wished. I ended up in an old t-shirt. I might as well have been naked
though,
because when I sat down in my easy chair and lay one leg over the
arm, my
shirt pulled up almost to my waist, exposing everything it should
have covered.
Little did I expect that by the end of the night the shirt would not
be all
I would take off.

My older brother Luke has always been close to me and we share with
each other
those things of our own we think the other needs or would enjoy.
Sometimes
it's eerie the way we know what is on the other's mind. He must have
known I
was going to be alone that night because he had dropped off a VHS
tape with a
note to call him in the morning to let him know my reaction.

I had enjoyed x-rated movies before, some with Luke. The first time
he brought
one over, I couldn't believe my eyes. By the time we finished
watching the
movie my mouth was so dry I could hardly swallow, but my pussy was so
wet I'm
sure my dress was damp where it had fallen between my legs. I'm also
sure Luke
knew what I had on my mind. He brought over others for me after that
and I
always looked forward to each new movie. I loved to watch the guys
fucking
and licking the girls in the films and I especially liked to pretend
it was on
my stomach or on my tits their semen spilled. I dreamed of rubbing it
into my
skin, my pubic hair, my pussy lips and then sucking my fingers until
their
wetness was licked away. But I hadn't watched one in months. So I
especially
looked forward to an evening of fantasy as I took Luke's movie out of
it's
container and slipped it into the recorder.

The film I put in the player that night, however, was not what I
anticipated.
This one did not have guys. It was only about girls.

It might have been the wine. It might have been the dim light. Or it
might have
just been my mood. In any case, as I watched the movie, I gradually
realized my
breathing had become shallow and I could almost feel my heart beat
beneath my
breast. As the women touched each other and kissed each other and
rubbed their
breasts against each other, I became aware of a part of myself only
hinted at
before. I found myself wishing I was with them. That it was my skin
being
stroked; my lips being kissed. My face became hot and flushed. I
looked over my
shoulder as though to see if anyone was there, watching, reading my
thoughts.
My shirt became moist with perspiration and as its cloth touched my
nipples
they became so sensitive I found my hand moving beneath the cloth,
cupping the
soft underside of my breast, my fingers gently squeezing each to make
sure the
feeling I was experiencing was really coming from me.

Then two of the girls in the movie moved to the shower, began bathing
each
other and as they rubbed the soap on the others bodies I became aware
of my
other hand slipping between my own legs, pressing hard against myself,
trying to hold in the response that was beginning to rise within my
body. After
soaping thoroughly they began to shave each others pubic hair. When
they
finished, they moved to the bedroom to continue their embraces. As I
watched
their lovemaking and gazed upon their newly shaved pink pussies, I
experienced
my first orgasm. I found my hand drenched with my own wetness. My
breasts ached
as I pressed harder against them with my hand and arm. And when I
finished I
knew what I wanted, at that moment, more than anything else; and I
knew the
evening would not be completed until I had been satisfied.

I rewound the tape to the beginning of the shower scene, turned the
TV and
recorder off and moved to my own bathroom. I lit some candles, saved
in the
bathroom for special nights, turned off all the other lights and
filled the
tub with water, scenting it with a soothing bath oil Luke had given
me. The
t-shirt came off as I slipped into the warm water and felt its gentle
caress.
As I lay in the water remembering the scenes of the shower and
recalling the
vision of the newly bared mons and lips, my body took on a new
sensitivity.
Each nerve seemed more alive than ever. The soap became a lover as it
used my
own hand to stroke my body. Soon my attention was turned to my own
pubic hair.
I have never had very much and what is there is sparse and soft.
Because of
the blond color, it seems almost invisible. But that would not be
enough. I
knew every hair must be removed. The soap was applied and as the
razor glided
across my skin, the threatened sharpness brought a new awareness
within the
delicate tissue. Sensuality was joined by a veiled perception of
fear. Starting
at the top and then moving down and back, I paid special attention to
the small
fine hairs around my clitoris and between the lips. The area below
the vagina
and around my ass was also shaved. When finished, I lay back in the
water, my
eyes closed, and ran my fingers across the now smoothed pussy
confirming that
indeed all its hair was gone.

I'm not sure how long I remained there, but finally I moved to the
bedroom and
toweled myself dry. A softly perfumed lotion was obtained from the
dresser and
I returned to the TV room, this time without the t-shirt. A record of
gentle
music was selected and placed on the player. The TV and video were
started but
without sound as I realized the only words I wanted to hear would be
my own
thoughts. As the scenes repeated, I applied the lotion. First across
my chest
and then cupping each breast with one hand, I began to stroke the
upper
sensitive skin with the other, moving closer with each caress to the
areola and
nipple. As my finger applied just a drop of the lotion to the
surrounding pink
areas, my nipples and the small papilla around them began to project
out. But
they were not hard. Instead they had taken on a softness and
sensitivity I had
not experienced before. I had to stop. As the women on the screen
made love to
each other I realized the only way I could join them would be within
my mind
and the TV images had become a barrier instead of a door to
fulfilling my
fantasy.

I turned everything off and returned to the bedroom. Laying on the
bed, in the
darkness, I became aware of my body in a new way; almost as though it
had an
existence of its own. My hand returned to my breasts and I found them
even more
sensitive than before. I grasped the nipples between my fingers,
gently pulling
and twisting. A breath of warm air blew across my naked body. A soft
ache
entered my pelvis. My hand move down my abdomen. Slowly the tips of
my fingers
began to brush across the newly shaved mons. A moan escaped from me.
It was
like a voice from another area of my mind, an echo from another
existence. I
continued down to my labia, along the sides and then between. But now
I didn't
need a lotion. The juice from my pussy was flooding and as I caressed
my newly
smoothed softness I found there was nothing to compare with my own
silky cream.
My fingers found their way to my mouth allowing my tongue to taste
and lick the
passion from their tips. As they returned to my pussy, I felt a
strange and
freighting feeling begin to rise within my body. The palm of my hand
pressed
against my clitoris as my fingers slipped between my lips and into
the depths
of my vagina. I began to massage the soft ridges within me. My legs
came back
as the other hand sought my now swollen lips and clitoris.

My strokes began slowly, but soon the difference between slow and
fast became
meaningless as I began to lose control. The feeling within my pelvis
had taken
over. My heart ached from its pounding and I had to gasp for air
because
I forgot to breathe. Two, three, then four of my fingers found their
way into
my pussy as it pleaded for more. Perspiration covered me. A musky
odor mixed
with the smell of perfume and my own body became a stimulant to my
senses as my
mind exploded with sensations. Then, within me, I felt the inner
ridges of my
vagina smoothed out and open as though expecting a gift. At the same
time, the
outer area tightened and began to spasm with urgency and ecstasy,
trying to
prevent any escape. I heard a scream and realized it was my own.
Juices poured
from me as I began to rub and spread them over my body, my breasts,
my arms, my
face. I put some on my nipples, pushed my breast towards my mouth and
used my
tongue to lick it off. My hands caressed every part of my body. I was
insane
with a rapture of sexuality. My orgasm had taken complete control of
my mind
and body. I was its prisoner, it was my lover and I responded in any
way it
demanded.

I can't tell you how long this went on but slowly the fog of
sensuality was
replaced with an overwhelming need for sleep. As I fell into a deep
sleep, I
thought of Luke and how I was going to explain my response to his
movie. I also
wondered if there was anyone else I could share it with.