I was doing a LOT of web dating when it first started. Even in a town as big as Sheffield there weren't that many women online dating, maybe a few hundred at the time if this tale. I had a running tally with a friend of mine... between 2000 to 2007 I have slept with over 140 women, almost all from netdates. This is the first of my tales... I have them all listed and will begin sharing them.

 

This one woman I spoke to was a deputy headmistress at a school in Barnsley. We arranged a first date; I would cook dinner at my place. I'm amazed how many women would do the first dinner/date at my place but I always sent them my full picture and address and told them to give it to a friend for safety reasons.

 

She told me she had a great body and her friends called her Barbie... you can imagine that got my blood a little warm. The conversation was spicy but nothing vulgar, but I expected we might have sex the first night.

 

She arrived... and oh my god she was a HUGE let down. She looked every bit like a school ma'am. In decent shape I guess but very plain and there was nothing at all to suggest why on earth anyone would call her Barbie. She was about 40 something, dirty blonde hair, and conservative looking in every way.

 

She'd driven quite a way though so I made dinner and cracked open a couple of bottles of wine and got slowly drunk. Her conversation was so boring, mostly about how great she was - I wasn't listening. I just looked at her and played games with myself... seeing how daring I could be and plotting ridiculous things to say or do. We were sat on opposite sofas and nothing at all was happening between us.

 

It was late and I was truly pissed and went upstairs for a pee and to consider how to get rid of her. In the bathroom I washed my hands and then looked at myself, drunk as anything in the mirror... you know when you look into your ridiculous drunken eyes? I became really pissed off that I had been lied to by this boring annoying woman.

 

In a heartbeat, in the mirror, I decided I would play the game and do what I could to fuck her, and be very selfish and maybe a bit rough about it.

 

So I started walking down the stairs... spiral staircase... and as she gradually came into view I remembered an episode of the Simpsons where Homer sees a live chicken... and in his mind/vision it turned into a cooked chicken. I looked at this woman and thought "hmmmm chicken"... walked straight over to her sofa and gave her a strong kiss as she looked in shock. 

 

I reached up her skirt as I kissed her and pulled down her thick black tights and underwear. No fight from her, just a look of utter disbelief. I took out my stiff cock and drove it into her as her eyes went wide with shock.

 

At the time I wasn't using condoms consistently... so I was inside her bareback and drunkenly heaving away, pounding into her as roughly as I could while she lay there on the sofa in shock. I was using my hard cock as a weapon, letting this cow have it for bullshitting me and just using her body for my pleasure.

 

She got into the action a tiny bit, she even took off her earrings while I fucked away... she obviously was up for the fuck but shocked as hell at my approach. 

 

So I drilled my meat into her and then, as I had fantasized while she was talking earlier, I decided to come on her face. I pulled out and roughly grabbed a handful of her “plain Jane” hair, then pulled her mouth to my crotch, forcing her to lick my balls while I pulled myself off, covering her miserable face with my cum. I remember the silly look on her face as I splattered all over her and rubbed my cock into her mouth... making her clean my cock of cum. 

 

Sadly she had to stay the night as she was drunk too... but I got rid first thing the next morning, only to be pestered for weeks after because she forgot her bloody ear rings. They were cheap plastic crap! Needless to say I didn't see her again. 

(picture from another net date story to come later)