Chapter 16



After everything that went on that day, and the long talk with Amy, I could not sleep that night. I went down into the basement and watched TV, hoping to fall asleep on the couch. But all I could think of was that look on Katie's face and in her eyes. I hoped she was ok.

I was busy daydreaming and thinking and did not even see Katie standing there until she spoke.

"Hi."

"Hi Katie. What are you doing up?"

"I can't sleep. Can I watch TV with you?"

"Sure. Pull up a rock."

She sat down next to me. She had on a pair of shorts and a tee shirt. She looked squeaky clean, girl next door fresh. Her long hair was in a ponytail. She looked so cute. She cuddled up close, I put my arm around her, and she laid her head on my shoulder. We watched some nonsense for a while. It was obvious neither one of us wanted to watch TV.

"So. You want to talk, tell me about it?" I asked.

"Talk about what?" she stalled, with that 'deer in the headlights' look.

"Oh, I don't know. About why you hate your dad, and would never go back to him again. About why you would kill yourself before you would move away from Amy. About why you almost came unglued when you found out about Cindi's rape. All those would be nice. But, let's start with this one, the one I really want to know — about how you inserted yourself into and filled up the empty space in Amy's mind that Cindi used to occupy." I smiled gently, trying to insert all the love I could into that smile and my eyes.

I expected a reaction. That was the idea. I did not expect the one I got. Katie turned white as all the blood left her face, and the look in her eyes was now the 'deer in the crosshairs' look. She tried to talk twice, but could not. Finally, she tried to act dumb.

"What... I don't know what you are talking about." She swallowed hard. She really was not a very good actor.

"Really? Then let me tell you what I know. Amy and Cindi had a mental connection since birth. They possessed certain mental abilities that brought them much closer than two normal sisters. They could sense each other's presence and emotional states. They could sometimes communicate with each other. Victoria and I never knew this was going on, even though there were many clues. Then, Cindi is killed. Amy becomes pathologically depressed and loses the desire to live, to the point that Victoria and I fear suicide. Amy has this area in her mind where she could always sense Cindi, and now it is empty. When I picked her up at your house that night, she already knew something was wrong. There is no possibility that anyone could have told her. You came running out of the house, said 'I'm sorry, is there anything I can do', and never once asked what the problem was. Why? Because you already knew. After two weeks of Amy falling apart, you walk into our house one day; walk into Amy's room, and six hours later Amy is back to her old self. There is only one way that could happen; someone filled up that empty place in her mind. She treats you just like Cindi now, loves you just as she loved Cindi, even though neither she nor Cindi were close to you before. Only one thing causes that, Katie; you occupy the place that Cindi once occupied. I just cannot figure out how you did it. Most importantly, how you did it without being a twin. This mind connection exists almost exclusively in twins." I smiled at her and kissed her cheek.

Katie looked at me in panic. She was so scared she forgot to lie.

"Who are you? How can you know these things?" she whispered, her voice trembling.

"How am I doing so far, sweetheart?" I asked softly. She gave up trying to deny it.

"Please," she begged. "You can't tell anyone about this. How do you know all of this? They will take me away, I will be a freak, and I will live in a government facility for the rest of my life. Please, I don't have much in my life, but I don't want to lose what little I have!" Tears poured down her cheek.

My heart melted. Perhaps I had been too hard on her. However, after the way she acted tonight, I had to do something to shake her up, make her talk. It was clear to me she could not go back to how she was after tonight. It was either uphill or downhill from here on. I was not going to lose another daughter, or soon to be daughter, if I could help it.

"Katie. Calm down. Think about it. Amy is the same way. Do you think I am going to do something that will hurt her? Not to mention the fact that I wouldn't do anything to hurt you anyway."

For the first time tonight, I saw the first glimmer of hope in her eyes. Maybe she could trust me. I watched as she visibly forced herself to be calm. Finally, she looked up and smiled at me tentatively.

"Ok. What do you want to know?" she asked.

"How did you do it? And how can you do this without being a twin?"

She looked at me solemnly.

"You know, for being a really smart person, and the father of the smartest person I've ever known, you can be pretty stupid sometimes."

"What do you mean?" I somehow sensed something traumatic was coming.

"You said only twins can do this?" She asked.

"That's what I understand."

"Well... ?" She sobbed, her voice trembling, tears running down her face, her lip quivering.

Suddenly it hit me! How could I be so stupid and blind?

"You're a twin!" I said softly.

"Was," she sobbed, and buried her face in my chest.

I held her, stroked her hair, tried to calm her down. I felt even stronger now that she had to talk about what was eating her up, but what had I done to this special girl? I felt so bad for her. When she calmed down some, I asked her if she wanted to talk.

"I'm not sure I want to," she said sadly.

"Katie, you have to. This is killing you. You are dying inside. If you can't talk to me, find someone else you trust to talk to, but you can't go on like this."

"You are the only one I can talk to, the only one I trust, except Amy, and I can't dump this on her," she smiled tiredly at me. I waited.

"My twin's name was Becky. We were identical twins. Becky was the sweetest person I have ever met. She existed only to make others happy. To make me happy. There was not a mean bone in her body."

"Like Amy and Cindi, we had a connection from birth. Ours was probably stronger, because we were identical twins. We didn't have the close, wonderful family that you have here. Dad was probably an alcoholic, and Mom was dependent on him and unable to leave. Things were not good."

"I was eleven when Dad raped me the first time. I fought him as hard as I could, but I was even smaller then. For six months, he raped me almost every night, at least several times each week. He was not a good, kind man as you are. All of us cheerleaders would gladly let you make love to us if you wanted to. He was not a nice man. For six months, I fought him as hard as I could, every time. I never gave in, never! Not once did I ever even come close to enjoying it. I hated him.

"One night, I just couldn't take it anymore. Not that night. I had told Mom repeatedly what was happening, but she didn't believe me, or didn't care; didn't want to fight him. I had to leave. Becky told me to go spend the night at our friend's house. She would have gone with me, but she had the flu and had to stay home. But she saw how desperate I was, and she told me to go on."

"I was so mad, so upset that night that it interfered with my ability to read Becky. I didn't think anything about not reading her; that sometimes happened when she was asleep. I knew she had gone to bed before I left. Consequently, I never felt it when he, not finding me, went in to Becky and did to her what he had done to me so many times." Katie was openly weeping now, her eyes wild.

"She fought him, just as I did. She fought him so hard, he knocked her out and broke her leg. She also had internal injuries. I don't think he knew he had injured her that badly. He wouldn't have cared anyway. He was drunk. After he was done with her, he left her there and went down to the bar to drink."

"No one knows what happened after that. Somehow, the house caught on fire. By the time Becky regained consciousness, she was almost overcome by smoke. She couldn't move anyway. She called out to me in her mind. It was the only time we ever were able to actually talk mind to mind. She told me to stay calm and call the fire department. She knew they wouldn't get there in time. I called, and then I panicked anyway. I started running back home. Becky, that sweet sister of mine, in her last moments alive, spent all her time staying calm, telling me how much she loved me. Never once did she panic or express any fear for her life. She made sure that the last thoughts I ever had from her were of love. I was responsible for her death and she told me how much she loved me. I swear to God, I never would have left her there had I known that might happen!" Katie couldn't talk anymore. She buried her head in my chest and cried her little eyes out. My heart ached for her. After awhile, she started talking again.

"During the investigation, it was revealed what my father had done to Becky and what he had been doing to me for six months. My father left town one night and disappeared just before they were going to arrest him. They took me away from my mother. My mother's sister took in foster children for the state. They placed me as a foster child with her. That is the "mother" I was with until a few days ago. She has five other children; her husband is never around. They just take the children in for the money. He shows up when the state comes to visit. When they come next time, they will probably just tell them I ran away."

"If you can imagine what Amy went through, mine was ten times worse. I walked off and left my sister in the same house with that monster. He wouldn't have hurt her if I was there. Also, imagine what it was like to talk to your sister in your mind, knowing she was dying. I had the same black, empty space Amy had. After two weeks of enduring the emptiness, the no home life, the guilt of being responsible for her death, I decided it wasn't worth living anymore. I decided to end it all."

"I planned it well. I stole the sleeping pills from my "mother". I waited until no one was around. I had them in my hand, ready to swallow them, when the voice stopped me."

"I swear I heard a real voice talk to me that day. Not just in my head, but aloud, in the room. I could see no one there. It told me I couldn't kill myself yet. It told me that if I killed myself now, someone like Becky would die, because I wouldn't be there to save her. The voice was so convincing that I stopped myself from taking the pills. I begged the voice to tell me where, when, who, but it never talked to me again."

"A year ago, we moved to this town. The first time I met the cheerleader group, I knew that Cindi and Amy were twins and connected. Even though they did not look like twins, I knew. I could sense them. I had never been around another pair, so I did not know I could do that. I think that is why they were always uncomfortable around me and we were never close. At some deep unconscious level, I think they knew I was like them and that I could sense them."

"When Cindi died, I felt her extinguished from that place in Amy's mind, just as she did. I knew before you got there that she had died. Remember, I had felt a mind die before; Amy wasn't sure what it was, but I knew. I realized the next day the mistake I made when I came out and talked to you, not asking the right questions. I just hoped you wouldn't notice."

"After a few days, I knew Amy was the one I was supposed to help. I didn't know what I was supposed to do, but somehow I knew I would know when the right time came. That Sunday, I woke up and knew the time was right." She looked at me solemnly. "Did you know that Amy was planning on killing herself after you went to bed that night? She didn't know that, but I did. I recognized it. She could take no more. Even then, Amy was sweet and loved you two. She was sad at how much she was hurting you, how much more she knew she was going to hurt you."

"When I went into her room, we sat and talked. She was in so much pain. When you knocked on the door, and she yelled at you, it gave me the opening I needed." She stopped talking for a while, eyes closed. I thought she had gone to sleep.

"How did you do it?" I asked, tears in my eyes. This poor girl. I swore then that I would make it up to her, somehow. She was way too sweet and nice to suffer like she had.

"I don't know. I took her hand in mine, and we looked into each other's eyes. She has the most beautiful, deep green eyes." She looked up at me, and smiled. "Just like yours. I just looked into them for a long time. I could feel her. Then I just felt something... like little tendrils flow from me to her. Then, after awhile, I felt some flow back from her to me. That was it. I was in her mind, where Cindi used to be, and she was in mine, where Becky used to be. The relief and joy of being whole again overwhelmed us. We didn't know what had happened, but we knew what the result was."

"That's about it. Before you ask, no, I am not Cindi. I am Amy's Cindi and she is my Becky, but I am not Cindi. I wish I were Cindi, for you." She smiled warmly at me.

After cuddling for a long time, Katie sat up, turned slightly, and in one athletic move, swung herself over onto my lap, facing me. Before I could react, she wrapped her arms around my neck, leaned in, and kissed me.

When she broke the kiss, I started to speak.

"Katie..."

She shushed me with her finger, and kissed me again. Longer. Softer. A wonderful kiss. If I was going to stop this, I had to do it soon. She was too good a kisser. Then, while kissing me, she started unbuttoning my shirt. Working the buttons with one hand while she softly rubbed each new exposed area of my skin with her other hand.

This time I broke the kiss. I had to speak. This sweet little girl had been abused, taken advantage of so often. I could not do the same thing to her.

"Katie... no, we can't do this. You are vulnerable right now. I can't take advantage of you like this, like everyone else has."

She laughed, her voice a merry tinkle that made my toes curl.

"Do you think this is something new I just decided I wanted because you were nice to me tonight? Patrick... Daddy... this is something I have wanted since almost the first time I met you. I may be taking advantage of you, but you could never take advantage of me." She eyes filled with tears, as she turned serious. "Please, Patrick. Let me give myself finally to someone I really want to give myself to. I have been taken so many times. I have given myself to so many boys, so many older men in search of one that would make me feel loved. Please, give me this tonight, even if it is the only time, let me enjoy it for once because I want it. I love you so much." She whispered softly, tears in her eyes.

Then she laid her head on my shoulder, and whispered in my ear.

"It's ok, I know," she whispered. "I know you love Victoria. I know I can never have you that way. I know I am too young. However, in some ways I am too old. I stake no claim on you. Just love me when you can. It will be our little secret. No one will know. Please. Don't be the only one to ever refuse me, the only one I have ever freely wanted."

I love my wife so much! I was so glad she had already given me permission to do this, because there was no way I could refuse the plea this sweet thing was making to me. I felt this was a mistake, just as I felt it had been with Cindi. I was wrong then; I hoped I would be wrong now. Please do not let me hurt this sweet girl more. I could not stand bringing her more pain.

She looked at me, hope on her face. She squealed with delight when I kissed her. She whimpered as she leaned me forward and took my shirt off the rest of the way. Then she leaned back and pulled her tee shirt over her head, taking it off. She started kissing me again, slowly running her hands across my chest. She gasped as I cupped her breasts, softly stroking her little nipples. We sat there for a long time, her hands around my neck, kissing me, kissing my neck, whispering sweet little things into my ear. I stroked her hair, and kissed her neck too. I bent my head down and sucked one of her nipples into my mouth, making her moan.

She broke her contact with me, stood up, and took her shorts and panties off. Then she slipped my shorts off. She smiled as she sat back down on my lap. She smiled even more when she lowered herself down on me, taking me all the way up inside her. She slowly rocked herself back and forth. My goodness, this girl was good! It only took a few minutes before both of us were exhausted, cuddled together with Katie still sitting on my lap. Katie lit up the whole room with her beautiful smile as she looked up at me.

"Oh my, I had no idea it could be like that!" she gasped.

"Katie, is that the first time you've ever... enjoyed it that much?" For some reason, I was suddenly embarrassed.

She smiled at me shyly and nodded her head yes.

"Oh dear, you are you in for a delightful time, young lady. This was nothing."

She blushed prettily. "Oh, goody! I hope I survive!" She smiled shyly. "So, am I a good substitute for Cindi?" Giggle. I froze in panic. I knew, as I looked at her that I could not bluff my way out of this one.

"How... how did you know about that?"

"I didn't," she giggled. "You just told me. I just figured that Cindi probably received comfort from you after her rape just as I just did. It was a good guess, though. I could tell by the way you two acted the last few weeks that she was around. Don't worry; I don't think anyone else caught it. I'm sure Amy doesn't know." She bit her lower lip, trying to decide if she should tell me something. "Except, I'm pretty sure Victoria knows."

I kissed her. "I love you, Katie Marie."

I was taken by surprise when she started crying.

"I'm sorry, sweetie, I shouldn't have said that."

"No! Don't you dare take that back. You just don't know how long I've wanted to hear you say that." She touched my cheek tenderly. "It's ok, I know you don't mean it the way I would, but I'll take love anyway I can. I love you too."

Katie and I made love several times that night, before she went to her room at 5:00, before Amy woke up. The last time, we were lying there in each other's arms, resting.

"Can I tell you something, without you getting upset?" she asked tentatively. I hate questions like that from females! It is a no win position. I nodded my head yes.

"You really love Amy a lot, don't you?" I nodded again; how was that going to upset me? "I know; the last time you had an orgasm you called me Amy. It's ok, I don't mind." She chewed her bottom lip again. "You know, you could have Amy if you wanted her."

Oh God, I did not need to know that!

"Yeah, right. And how would you know that, Little One?"

"She told me. We were playing truth or dare and I dared her to tell me her deepest, darkest, most exciting fantasy. She turned red and said no. I told her she could not change the game in midstream, she had to tell me. She finally told me that she wanted you to be the first one to make love to her." Katie smiled at me impishly. "Want me to tell her you're interested? I could tell her you called out her name when you were making love to me," she giggled.

"Katie! You promised you wouldn't tell anyone! I would get in big trouble. And then Victoria and I wouldn't be able to adopt you."

"I was just kidding. I wouldn't..." her voice tapered off. "What did you say?"

"I said I would get in big trouble."

"Not that, you dope! Did you say... adopt me?? Would you guys... really do that?" She looked at me with watery eyes and quivering lips.

"Yes. Now get your butt upstairs before Amy catches us and kills us both. We will talk about it this weekend." She kissed me and scampered upstairs.

I lay on the couch for a while, feeling happy. Victoria, what did you get me into? Amy wanted me? I was afraid to even think about that one. Why does my life always get so complicated?