mykyl0
Member Since October 19, 2009
Me and Ashley
by
lonny123
5091 days ago
mykyl0
5563 days ago
lonny123
5091 days ago
mykyl0
5563 days ago
-
7
+
More dialogue would be nice, so would more description.
Daddy's Naughty Daughters
by
UK_Younglover
UK_Younglover
Words cannot describe how good that was. You're writing is superb, and I wouldn't mind a sequel or ten, or even just a lot more stories. One thing I have to point out: Douglass Adams?! The author of "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"? It was a little weir
Brandy and Ms. Baker
by
hoserhead
hoserhead
Keep up this story. All you need to do is add a tad more detail. I really, really liked this one.
College Antics Pt I
by
seveninchwonder
seveninchwonder
Keep writing; I want to see how you develop your style as the events progress.
Hitch hiking teen
by
usafslut1
usafslut1
It's very simple, yet very underused in erotica, but girls who get off on anal are sexy. Keep it up.
carolyn's hot boyfriend
by
ilovecarolyn
ilovecarolyn
I don't even think stories like this should be allowed. There is no content or anything. Try reading something that has a 10/10 first, and then writing your story.
Sweetest Sister Ever
by
The Joker
The Joker
Amazing story. I say this since it makes me really want the next part. The only problem I could find was that you have the protagonist refer to Ashley as 15 at the time of the story, but call her the protagonist's "16-year old sister" during the story.
Friends Party
by
TrueStories06
TrueStories06
I see potential, but it's bogged down by English errors and a lack of descrition. Please never use webcaps in stories, such as replacing "you" with "u".
Finding Meg 3
by
CherryLane
CherryLane
I enjoyed this one a lot. A little more substance in the intercourse part would have been nice, but an anal slut is something that's more or less always entertaining.
Knocking Up Sis 2
by
thedogofpower
thedogofpower
The way you followed up the last chapter is really cool. I like the concept, but I think it would be better if you gave more details during the sex. Also, this might just be something personal, but I feel as though most people would be happy if Sara had a
A New Thong For My Daughter
by
Daringdad1
Daringdad1
I really like your story. I'd like to see more stories like this with teen boys who suck and fuck each other without being in love or anything like that (the idea of boys kissing bugs me).
Getting use to the girl
by
Camilo
Camilo
I really liked it, though it could have been longer. Also, you need to edit a bit more. For example, at one point you said "a sleep" instead of "asleep." Other than minor things, it was really well done. Please keep writing.
Friends lil bro's girlfriend
by
thenatone
thenatone
A little more details needed on the sensations, but other than that it's quite good.
Vacatition with my daughter
by
rekrap
rekrap
The formatting and layout of this is absolutely atrocious. No one is going to read it if it's this hard on the eyes.
2 Times a Night
by
iws82
iws82
Why do you even submit this crap? It's a mess; just a jumble of text that no one is going to read.
My Daughter Lisa and her friend Anna Part 1
by
davehh39
davehh39
Stories like this will never get a good rating. See how the text just clumps together? It's too hard on the eyes for anyone to actually read it.
Skating Rink 2
by
hornylisa
hornylisa
I liked it. The first sex part was much more detailed than the second or third, so I liked it more. Just take it as constructive criticism for next time, and please let there be a next time.
Adventures in Taboo 10
by
johnscript
johnscript
I liked your stories at first, despite the atrocious grammar, but it's just gotten to be too much. Taking advantage of your alcoholic niece wouldn't be so bad if you knew how the fucking English language worked. Then and than are different words. Also, it
Taking story down
by
Taiyed
Taiyed
I'm amazed that Harry Potter erotic fan fiction is so good. It's a little weird that there's been so much of it, but I won't complain about something at this caliber.
Schoolgirl Slut
by
jeffo822
jeffo822
I liked it a lot. It's not that original, but you do it so well that it doesn't matter. The only thing I would reccomend is for you to make more corrections. Spellchecking, finding grammatical errors, breaking up paragraphs, etc. Oh, and please write more
Car Breaks Down
by
Sultrybuxombbw
Sultrybuxombbw
Very good, though I'd have liked more detail when the men were fucking her at the garage.