I found a daughter I never knew I had.
Thirty years ago I had an affair with a girl for 4 years on and off. We were not in love but enjoyed each others company and for 3 of the 4 years it was celibate. We were both in the services and were often apart for considerable periods on duty in various parts of the country/world. There had always been passion in our affair but never sex. She lived amongst women the whole time and I always imagined she had been involved in or exposed to a lesbian relationship. We slept in the same bed naked but she was never really interested in
I had been involved romantically with both these girl friends for some time but the romance never progressed beyond being lovers. We all remained as friends with benefits. Like me they remained single but occasionally took in a partner for a while and until they tired of them. Both these girls knew me well enough to say that this relationship I was having with Pam was strange.
One weekend Pam and I had a weekend leave and we had decided to go away together as we did occasionally as man and wife. We enjoyed the outdoor life, walking and in particular the evening meal in a good restaurant with a great bottle of wine. Mostly we went back to the hotel and went to bed. We enjoyed walking and nudity alone in bushland or secluded places. We slept together completely naked and had done so for our entire relationship. Very occasionally we would masturbate together or she would allow me to finger her to orgasm, or she would provide me with a good hand job, but she never went any further than that.
Nothing intimate ever came of our association until this night. On this occasion I fondled her breasts as we lay there naked on the bed as we had done many, many times, we kissed and for some reason the passion we had experienced before went further than ever and it just happened. We never spoke, and as we kissed she did something she had never done before – she pulled me over on top of her and positioned herself as if we were going to have sex. I recognised the signs and said nothing more than “are you sure?†and she looked at me and I knew in her eyes her answer and she whispered “yesâ€Â.
My penis was hard and right at the apex of her legs and pressed against her pubic hair. She responded to a slight movement of mine and she opened her legs and spread then wider to reveal the entrance to her body covered lightly by pubic hair and now glistening wet in anticipation of being penetrated by my penis. She lifted her knees and as they rose the channel to her vagina opened I entered her. There was no discussion, no undue preparation; it just happened and as my cock went in she kissed me passionately. My cock slipped easily between the lips of her labia and deeply inside her. I could feel the reaction in her body. She had her eyes closed but as I penetrated her, furrows appeared on her forehead as she closed her eyes tightly as if to say that’s nice or that’s hurting a little bit but she never said a word. Her mouth was also sending me signals that this was completely new to her but she was not in pain. The arrhhhhs and mmmm’s and soft sort of half grunts, the open mouth and the screwed up eyes and the occasional shake of the head or she would put her head right back as if to say that’s uncomfortable but it only lasted a moment and she would open her eyes again and smile at me. She was demonstrating what she was feeling without having to say it in words. We kissed open mouthed and passionately except for those moments of oral reaction. She was engaged in something she had never experienced before and it obviously was not hurting her. I could tell from her reaction and the way she moved her legs it was something new strange and pleasurable for her. Until then she claimed to have been a virgin and I could accept that.
Suddenly we were engaged in intercourse there was no forewarning or anything unusual, we just made love together for the first time. When I had penetrated her, which was no problem, my cock slipped into her and it was just like any other girls I had fucked. Her vagina she was very wet and my cock now extruding pre cum found the opening without any additional physical direction by me, I just applied pressure against her vagina opening and her lips parted and I entered her without any problem. She was warm, wet and reasonably tight. I could feel in her reactions see she knew what was happening. To her I was just fucking her and after the first wave of pleasure from the feeling of being inside her I began to realise she was getting some pleasure from the sensation of having my cock deep inside her and the thrusting I had slowly started. It was obvious it was all new to her. There was no emotion that I could detect in her, I have fucked many girls and most seem to know how to get some pleasure from having a guy’s penis embedded inside them. A few I had slept with basically lay there and let me have my pleasure while they believed they were doing their duty. It was obvious she was curious about it as it was a complete new sensation for her. I began by asking her if she was comfortable and she replied yes but I never imagined it would be like this. I said are you enjoying it and she said I am not sure, it is so very strange to me, I have never experienced anything like this before. I can feel the thickness of you inside me and when you enter me I can feel you pushing down into me. I said does it feel anything like when you masturbate and she said no, if anything it feels better. Then she asked how I felt being inside her. I said it feels marvellous and she said is it as good as the other women you have fucks with and I said at the moment it is far better. I know it’s your first time with a man, and I want you to enjoy it, I don’t want it to be our last. Then she said just tell me what I have to do and I will do it. If I have gone this far I may as well get what I can out of it.
We spent 2 hours having sex and I came 3 times. When I orgasmed the first time she seemed amused by the way I reacted and said I wonder where all that will go, referring to my sperm that I had ejaculated into her. She made an effort to enjoy herself and had no inhibitions; she was prepared to do anything I asked of her. Her first orgasm was something else as she had never experienced other than an orgasm by masturbating and the one she had with me was absolutely wonderful for me and mind-blowing for her. She couldn’t believe how different it was and enjoyed every moment. Her only comment was I liked that maybe we can do that again.
The thing I realised after a while was we were not using protection. I had never thought this would happen and never brought condoms with me. She had never considered even thinking about the fact we may one day actually have sex and took no precautions at all. I had cum into her three times now and she had a real mess around her cunt and pubic hair as I did. After 2 hours sex and me cumming as well as her making huge amounts of lubrication herself, there was this abundance of sex excretions constantly leaking from her all over us.
For the first time we showered together and had sex again doggy style which she found interesting and pleasurable. She said I don’t believe I ever realised what having sex with you would be like. It is completely different to what I imagined it would be like. I was pretty naive.
After that we slept the night through and we awoke and had sex twice again before going to breakfast. She said it looks like I have to make up for lost time. She recognised my moves and she just accepted that I wanted sex, and she offered herself willingly. She never orgasmed that morning but admitted she had actually enjoyed the fact I had sex with her. The word lovemaking was never used.
Our relationship didn’t change other than we had sex frequently whenever we met. The feeling between us remained happy but without emotional feelings of love. The sex was just an added pleasure to those we already enjoyed together.
The relationship went on and I assumed she had begun taking oral protection as we had sex willing and frequently after that. I had never mentioned protection to her again. Even though we had been having sex frequently for a few months she continued to have her periods on time.
Then the time came for us to separate temporarily I believed. She was posted overseas for 18 months and I knew that was the end of our passion until she returned and we could take up where we left off hopefully. I didn’t want a commitment and neither did she.
After she left I had regular mail from her for a few months then it just stopped for no reason. Despite a lot of effort I could find out nothing about her or her posting from the armed forces. It was all hush-hush I was told.ÂÂ
No matter what I did I could not locate her. None of her friends had heard of her or from her.
I was hoping that at the end of her posting she would return and contact me. I never heard a word.
25 years have elapsed since then and whilst I occasionally thought of her I often wondered why she just dropped off the face of the earth.
Recently I was at a party and for some reason became attracted to a younger girl of about 25. She was 24 years my junior but for some reason we just clicked and there was some chemistry between us. Here I was an old fart making up to a young girl and she was responding. I couldn’t believe it and I began to feel, very self conscious as she was attractive and seemed to enjoy my company. Later she told me she preferred men to boys because all the boys wanted to do was get them into bed and she had so far remained aloof to their requests. I cheekily asked if she was a virgin and she said that’s for me to know and you to find out.
To cut a long story short I rang her a couple of days later and we went out, it was like a father and daughter meeting, but afterwards she came back to my apartment. I was in two minds, I believed she was taking more interest in me than was normal for a girl her age and to be honest the moves she was making were testing my resolve to keep a distance from her, because I could easily have been tempted to seduce her. I had never had an experience with anybody as young as her and I was cautious to begin with. All my partners and friends were about my own age.
The next meeting was similar to the first only it was a Friday night and again she wanted to come back to my place and this time the both of us knew something was going to happen and it did. She made it clear she wanted to stay and as much as I wanted to say no I didn’t, and then we kissed and it was like I had been taken back 25 years. We went to bed and we had sex and I could not get out of my head how similar this encounter was to the one I had 25 years ago, only this girl was actively seeking sex and enjoying it. I soon realised she was not a virgin. She stayed the entire weekend and we had sex continually in every conceivable position.
We ordered meals in and never put our clothes on for two days and nights.
After that we began to meet regularly and she stayed over every weekend. Our relationship blossomed and I was flattered at being sought out by a girl so young, for me. It soon became permanent and she had moved in with me. There was something really great between us and she was somebody that I had immense feeling for in a way that I had never felt before. She and I were as one in every way.  After much discussion when she begged me to father her child I reluctantly agreed. Fortunately or unfortunately as one may see it, and as hard as we tried nothing seemed to work.
As time went on I began to ask about her past and why she didn’t seem to have any parental connections. She said she had been adopted out at birth. Her mother had not wanted her and she had no idea who her father was. Her adoptive parents had tried to locate either of them for her when she turned 18 and finally got evidence of her mother but was unable to trace her. She had disappeared off the face of the earth but had found out much about her and created a good history of her. She had been an unmarried mother. The birth certificate showed the father ‘unknown’. Through her adoptive father they had traced her mother to a hospital where she had been born and from a sister there who had remembered her she gained a lot of personal data she was able to follow through. She had been a single unmarried pregnant woman who just appeared in the town. It was obvious to all, she either didn’t know the father, or he had abandoned her. She had the baby and disappeared as if she had never been there.
I was hearing this information piece by piece as it was something she got quite emotional about at times so there were weeks when nothing was said. Gradually however she wanted to talk about it. I was a sympathetic and interested party that was prepared to listen. We would talk in bed and generally we would end up making love as she really got emotional and lovemaking was something she got physical and emotional pleasure from with me. Nobody else before had wanted to be bothered with her past. Although her adoptive parents had helped her, they were reluctant to pursue it beyond the stage they had achieved. They felt there was nothing to be gained. Her mother had disappeared and the father whoever he was did not exist. They were her parents as far as they were concerned and had given her everything in life. As the story unfolded I began to worry, things were beginning to add up and I could not believe what I was hearing.
I said nothing to her but quietly began to investigate and look through the wealth of information she had gained when she began the search. Then I approached her adoptive parents and claimed I had been asked to investigate her mother’s whereabouts and said nothing about our intimate relationship which was now as a married couple without a marriage certificate.
It was a couple of weeks later her adoptive mother rang me at work and said she had something she had found which she hadn’t realised she had. It had come with some other papers from a welfare organisation and had been separated from the other documents. It was evidently a photo of her mother before she was born. I arranged for it to be courier’d to me and it broke my heart when I saw it.
It was a photo of Pam in military uniform I had one the same at one time myself. I was sleeping with my own daughter. It all started to fall into place, why we had so much in common and the love we had for each other despite the age difference was so strong and intimate. I was aghast at the thought of the effort we had been to trying to get her pregnant. I would have fathered my own child’s baby. I was shattered. What was I going to do? To reveal this to her would shatter two lives, hers and mine and no doubt she would have emotional problems for the rest of her life. She had joked at times that people asked how she could live and sleep with a man old enough to be her father, never for one moment thinking I was. She just told people until you have made love to a mature man you have never made love. I knew her mother and I knew how Trish was going to react - they were so much alike and I couldn’t accept it. I thought I had found the love of my life – again, and now I could lose it and destroy her life as well. I don’t think she could have handled the fact she had been sleeping with, and had fallen in love with me, and may have born the child she conceived with her own father.
I pondered this for two days and made a decision – selfish though it may have been I decided to continue this illicit love and incest. I had never know of her existence before, to me she was a complete stranger, and even though she was born out of a relationship I had with a woman who did not appreciate what motherhood could be, there were times I could not see her as my daughter, particularly as we had made love so often. She loved oral sex with me and devoured my semen as if it were nectar of the gods, the same semen that had created her. If she ever found out that I was her father she would have had serious psychological problems I am sure.
I made a giant decision.ÂÂ
I was going to continue the relationship and continue to live with my own daughter as man and wife. I would have a vasectomy so there would be no chance of accidentally fathering a child to her. I would not oppose any IVF conception if she desired to have a child that way. I would not even be concerned for myself if she were able to conceive to another man. I would be happy to father the child in every other way. I would destroy every piece of evidence that could possibly link me to her as her father.
For a couple of weeks I refrained from sex with her, I claimed I was not feeling well. I had the vasectomy and had not told her and this was an ideal opportunity for my body to excrete and live semen that may already be hiding in those parts of my body. I masturbated every day in order to flush any that may have been around out of my system. . I found it difficult to gain an erection each time we began making love again for a while but that eventually passed as my love for her overcame the guilt, and there was plenty of that. Each time I looked at her naked body, her breasts and vagina I saw Pams, and remembered the times she and I had made love and enjoyed the sexual relationship we finally achieved. Now I wish we hadn’t.
It took me another two years of silent searching to find out all there was to know about Pam. She had been pregnant when posted, and it was blatantly obvious I was the father of her child. She remained in the services until it became known she was pregnant and then posted home and discharged. She had the baby alone and then adopted. After the birth she returned to her old ways. She lived as she had lived before and I had not realised. In the service she had had lesbian affairs and in actual fact preferred women to men in bed until she had been rejected by a lover. Then she turned to me after 3 years of being a partner without sex and I had filled a gap in her life. Then she became pregnant and could not or would not face the fact it was a
I spent a lot of time and money to try and find Pam and now I believe I have pieced the story together. After our baby was born and adopted she found another woman with similar emotions and desires and lived happily with her in a lesbian relationship. She never saw her own child, and now I was sleeping with her. Pam and her partner just disappeared without a word or forwarding address about 3 years ago, about the same time Trish and I formed our relationship.
I wonder now if Pam found out about us and was so shocked she just disappeared. I know she would not have the fortitude to confront either of us with the fact she knew the father of her child was sleeping and living with the same child. She realised I suppose it was possibly the worst case of incest that one could have. The fact I was living with my own daughter Trish, as man and wife – the child conceived by us both Pam and I - would have disgusted her beyond belief. A daughter she had abandoned.  I hadn’t realised until then she could have easily tracked me down as I had remained in the same town after I was discharged. I am now certain she knows. She would never have found Trish herself, but she obviously knew where to find me and had decided never to reveal her identity or secret to me. Now I can only assume she had recognised her own flesh and blood. Of this I am certain, there are so many similarities only a mother can see and recognise. They are becoming more and more obvious to me now and I cannot help but love her as I do. I have now to finally accept the fact and suppress the shame.
My only wish now it that Trish never finds out I am her biological father. She knows Pam is her mother and bore and abandoned her. Now she has virtually married to her father and does not know it.
In the meanwhile I am going to try and put it all behind me and have a loving and fulfilling relationship with my own daughter, as my wife, and she will never know the penis that provides her with so much pleasure is the same penis that provided the semen to create her.
I look at her now naked and the wonder of her beauty overwhelms me. I am looking at my own daughter and it fills me with desire. I admit I am some sort of a mongrel to be doing this but had I know of her existence I may never have made love to a girl that age just in case. The most important thing to me is that she loves me as a lover and has no idea she could also love me as her father but in a completely different way.
This is a story I had to tell.
How would you feel and have handled this situation had you been me.
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