dirtytyke
Member Since May 31, 2010
Erika And The Headmaster part 3
by
Morgen
Morgen
Well done Morgen.
These three stories while short were very enjoyable. I hope you write another few chapters for this though I've no idea where you could take it. Possibly Mr Smith could discipline two girls at once and make them lick each other out as well or face further strokes from his cane? Possibly Erika could be the other girl recieving 'punishment' or so the naughy girl thinks.
I did find myself wondering about whether the headmaster had used a condom, or how we was going to ensure that none of the girls would get pregnant to him. Possibly I think about the detail in the stories too much?
These three stories while short were very enjoyable. I hope you write another few chapters for this though I've no idea where you could take it. Possibly Mr Smith could discipline two girls at once and make them lick each other out as well or face further strokes from his cane? Possibly Erika could be the other girl recieving 'punishment' or so the naughy girl thinks.
I did find myself wondering about whether the headmaster had used a condom, or how we was going to ensure that none of the girls would get pregnant to him. Possibly I think about the detail in the stories too much?
Daughter's sexy sight part 18
by
Morgen
Morgen
what can I say?
WOW.
That was sure pretty hot. I loved the 69 and dad's licking each others cocks as the girls licked arseholes. Thanks!
A little bi action like that makes the story way hotter.
WOW.
That was sure pretty hot. I loved the 69 and dad's licking each others cocks as the girls licked arseholes. Thanks!
A little bi action like that makes the story way hotter.
Daughter's sexy sight part 17
by
Morgen
Morgen
I'm surprised that after 16 previous chapters the sex is still fresh.
I'd like slightly more story in between each sex session, but that's just me.
I'd like slightly more story in between each sex session, but that's just me.
Daughter's sexy sight part 16
by
Morgen
Morgen
A great addition to a great story.
Unlike illiousintahl I think the guys eating each other's spunk just improved the story. There's nothing wrong with a little male-male action even if the guys are straight. I'd have taken it a little further, perhaps having Joleena in a 69 with her dad, while Kevin fucks her cunt. Joleena's dad should be licking her clit and start licking kevins shaft and balls as he strokes in and out. You could even have him pull kevin's cock out and stick it in his mouth when kevin comes. At the same time Katie could be either bouncing on joleena's dads cock while joleena licks them both, or she could be kneeling behind her dad and licking/fingering his asshole. Perhaps when kevin starts getting his cock sucked she should hop off joleena's dad and start rimming kevin. As he comes she should stick her finger in his ass to make his orgasm even stronger.
Unlike illiousintahl I think the guys eating each other's spunk just improved the story. There's nothing wrong with a little male-male action even if the guys are straight. I'd have taken it a little further, perhaps having Joleena in a 69 with her dad, while Kevin fucks her cunt. Joleena's dad should be licking her clit and start licking kevins shaft and balls as he strokes in and out. You could even have him pull kevin's cock out and stick it in his mouth when kevin comes. At the same time Katie could be either bouncing on joleena's dads cock while joleena licks them both, or she could be kneeling behind her dad and licking/fingering his asshole. Perhaps when kevin starts getting his cock sucked she should hop off joleena's dad and start rimming kevin. As he comes she should stick her finger in his ass to make his orgasm even stronger.
HORNY LITTLE GIRLS
by
Trap
Trap
Awesome story.... I've not yet finished, just up to where Becca licks her mum's cunt for the first time, but it is the best story I've read in ages. :)
My Name is Jacob chp.1 Discovering my Powers
by
Sextopics
Sextopics
I love the topic, I've been thinking about trying to write a similar one myself.
In my opinion starting a story with "Before I get into my story let me tell you a little about myself." is NEVER a good sign. Characters are supposed to develop in a story, not have everything about them listed up front. This is especially true when nothing that was mentioned had any relevance to the story.
In my opinion starting a story with "Before I get into my story let me tell you a little about myself." is NEVER a good sign. Characters are supposed to develop in a story, not have everything about them listed up front. This is especially true when nothing that was mentioned had any relevance to the story.
Daughter's sexy sight part 12
by
Morgen
Morgen
I love the story. I've just read all 12 parts and am looking forward to the next instalment. I was partially expecting the daughter (do we even know her name? I don't recall reading it) to start calling Anna "mummy", much like Katie saying "daddy" too.
How about bringing Katie back for some fun now Anna has joined in, or alternatively Katie and her dad coming over for some 4 way fun, I'm sure he'd be up for it too.
You could even consider having the girls get the two dads to have some mild play with each other, perhaps making them wank each other before letting them fuck the girls. Or after having had the fathers come in their pussies, push the men onto their backs and switch over ramming their spunk-filled cunts down onto the other man's mouth until they sucked the cum out.
I very pleased that you've cut back on the use of "Tight teen cunt" and "fiery fuckhole". While they're fine, they did detract from the story when used repetitively. The same went for exclamation marks; ending every sentence with one was overkill.
How about bringing Katie back for some fun now Anna has joined in, or alternatively Katie and her dad coming over for some 4 way fun, I'm sure he'd be up for it too.
You could even consider having the girls get the two dads to have some mild play with each other, perhaps making them wank each other before letting them fuck the girls. Or after having had the fathers come in their pussies, push the men onto their backs and switch over ramming their spunk-filled cunts down onto the other man's mouth until they sucked the cum out.
I very pleased that you've cut back on the use of "Tight teen cunt" and "fiery fuckhole". While they're fine, they did detract from the story when used repetitively. The same went for exclamation marks; ending every sentence with one was overkill.
Maeghan Wrist: C11
by
enchrine
enchrine
Oh man, that was a great story, but PLEASE continue it...
I'd love to read your description of Montana, Maeghan and Ean having a threesome!
I'd love to read your description of Montana, Maeghan and Ean having a threesome!
Maeghan Wrist: C01 [Inside Me: Book II]
by
enchrine
enchrine
Great story.
You can't please everyone so don't worry about criticism that the story is boring.
You can't please everyone so don't worry about criticism that the story is boring.
Cuckolding Mrs. Stanley's Husband
by
Loverboy69
Loverboy69
Great start, I hope you write another chapter, I'd like to hear what she has in mind.
Dick in Jane - Ch9 - Put the Romans To Shame
by
writethis69
writethis69
Man, that was a great set of stories. It is a shame you don't wish to continue them though! I look forward to reading your future work. :-)
Given your comment about endless re-reads this will no doubt annoy you... I noticed a few times you seemed to loose track of which character was where. For example in chapter 3 you had the 3 guys taking turns using their hands only to please Jane. Dan went first, before Bill had a turn... except suddenly it switched back to being Dan.
e.g. "Her panting made kissing difficult so Bill moved his head under Jane's dangling breasts and flicked his tongue over her nipples. ... ...Her little bottom was gyrating to Dan's massaging."
Also you seemed to occasionally switch between mary and marie etc... I'm not sure if that was supposed to be deliberate or not...
Anyway, that was a great story and I loved it. I'd love to continue it on myself but I don't think I could do it justice.
Given your comment about endless re-reads this will no doubt annoy you... I noticed a few times you seemed to loose track of which character was where. For example in chapter 3 you had the 3 guys taking turns using their hands only to please Jane. Dan went first, before Bill had a turn... except suddenly it switched back to being Dan.
e.g. "Her panting made kissing difficult so Bill moved his head under Jane's dangling breasts and flicked his tongue over her nipples. ... ...Her little bottom was gyrating to Dan's massaging."
Also you seemed to occasionally switch between mary and marie etc... I'm not sure if that was supposed to be deliberate or not...
Anyway, that was a great story and I loved it. I'd love to continue it on myself but I don't think I could do it justice.
His Wishes part 4
by
lavi31
lavi31
Love the theme... and can't wait for the next.
A little more attention to detail would be nice as it's hard to follow some times.
e.g. early in the story “Please master, could you lick these for me?” Man he loved being called master. It was like the magical word to turn him on. James was mauling on Christine’s tits as she had her fingers in her ass. Taking this as a sign to be fucked in the ass, James took his cock out and began to fuck her pussy."
James took his cock out of her pussy and began to fuck her pussy.... don't you mean fuck her tasty ass?
A little more attention to detail would be nice as it's hard to follow some times.
e.g. early in the story “Please master, could you lick these for me?” Man he loved being called master. It was like the magical word to turn him on. James was mauling on Christine’s tits as she had her fingers in her ass. Taking this as a sign to be fucked in the ass, James took his cock out and began to fuck her pussy."
James took his cock out of her pussy and began to fuck her pussy.... don't you mean fuck her tasty ass?
The Threesome
by
britneyh80@yahoo.com
britneyh80@yahoo.com
Wow, that was a good story. I sure hope Cara agrees that Britney can fuck Brad. If you write that as well as this story it'll be a great read for sure.
(FYI it's fiancé (male) and fiancée (female) not fionse)
If you do write another chapter, you could always have cara suggest britney contact her ex and have him (and possibly his new partner) come and join the 4 of them for some really good fun.
(FYI it's fiancé (male) and fiancée (female) not fionse)
If you do write another chapter, you could always have cara suggest britney contact her ex and have him (and possibly his new partner) come and join the 4 of them for some really good fun.
3 Little Treats Ch 2
by
yarnspin
yarnspin
Great story. Please don't pick a crazy font or make the text large. Just use the standard font and size. It's a lot easier to read. Thanks!
My sister Becky - Part 2
by
robbiemd1993
robbiemd1993
Sure it's hot, but it doesn't seem to go with the previous story at all... I think you rushed into it a bit too fast.
Horney Cousins 2
by
Figment
Figment
Compared to other stories around the grammar isn't too bad. A little more care required and it'd be fine.
@McFarlane-D Jism/Jizz = same thing. Don't assume no one uses the term just because you don't.
@McFarlane-D Jism/Jizz = same thing. Don't assume no one uses the term just because you don't.
Goodnight Kiss
by
thegreenscar3
thegreenscar3
It may be short, but at least the grammar and spelling is a lot better than some (most) other stories here.
Sister Makes Six
by
Epicureus
Epicureus
Very nice. It seems such a shame that Clara wasn't involved again though, either with the boys, or just the two girls by themselves.
Mom loves my friends cocks ch. 2
by
paula_soccermom
paula_soccermom
Please write the next chapter, that was an awesome story, as are your other ones I've read.
You've got me hooked for the next part to see if the girls have their dad's bring each other off!