voclaire
Member Since October 19, 2009
Teens 1st time
by
Jolly1
5175 days ago
voclaire
5646 days ago
Jolly1
5175 days ago
voclaire
5646 days ago
-
4
+
good story, pretty short. some mistakes but mostly spelling and word usage is good.
Goddess in the Making
by
frankenweeny
frankenweeny
Well, it could use some punctuation, especially quotation marks. Otherwise it is a great story. Makes me want to do Jess and Cassy; I might even let Adam come along.
Out of control part 3
by
monkeyshines0836
monkeyshines0836
Wish you used quotes better. It would be good if Carolines mom moved in with them or if Mother and Daughter changed rooms so that our hero could sleep with his lover every night.
5on1 ; Gang rape part II
by
voclaire
voclaire
I hope part one didn't get lost somewhere. It would be a shame if I had to type all that in again.
New Daddy
by
RockyBeefhook
RockyBeefhook
The reader really identifies with Amanda. First you hate the son of a bitch, then you love him. Don't sweat the character developement. I thought it was adequate for the length of this narative.
My Little Sis!
by
Solidguy
Solidguy
it is amazing how many people posting here cant spell or match person, number, or tense when writing a narrative.
I must congratulate you for your following regular rules of modern English to tell a story
I must congratulate you for your following regular rules of modern English to tell a story
My baby girl daughter
by
Camilo
Camilo
your spelling and word usage needs some help but the story was good.
Surprise from sis
by
SSPAdmins
SSPAdmins
sure would like to see this expanded. one time you got the person mixed up - saying "you" instead of "her" or the like. you described the sister as perfect but didn't say what size - alowing me to put in the breast size that like.