My Girls Chapter 15
Chapter 15
The next day, while at work, I visited the Microbiology laboratory at the hospital. I was shown into the director's office right away. After taking care of the obligatory condolences, I asked him what the conclusions were on the organism that had almost killed my daughter. He surprised me by saying they did not know yet. Surely, they would have had time to isolate and identify it by now. He explained that some organisms grow very slowly in culture, and some in very specialized conditions, and that they had just not found the right conditions for culture. I asked him why they did not just culture it in a living organism, since it obviously lived there. He smiled, obviously happy to be talking to someone that understood his field, at least somewhat
Next, I went to see Chief Haskin. After chatting for a while and catching up on our families, I asked him how the investigation was going on the accident. He looked at me strangely, and said the driver was drunk and ran a red light. I asked him if he had checked carefully for other causes. What was the cause of death? Usually dump truck drivers did not die from hitting cars. He looked at me in silence for a minute.
"Is there something you know that I don't?"
"No, I just have an uncomfortable feeling. Just being thorough. Do me a favor, will you? Look at it again. Yourself, personally. You know how paranoid Victoria is. I just want to be able to tell her we are sure."
He agreed he would check it out and let me know.
When I got back to the office, there was a small package waiting for me. It was a ballpoint pen. One of those fancy gel ones. This one was really fancy, though. It contained a cellular phone and a two-way paging radio. The Nextel type that paged anywhere in the country for instant two way talking. And network wide paging. A codebook listed various quick dial numbers. I was #1. Captain Jensen was #2. There were various other numbers listed. Amy and Victoria's cell phone numbers were listed, as was Katie's. However, Katie did not have a cell phone. Oops, yes she did, it was in the package also, nationwide service paid up for two years. She would be excited. Incidentally, the pen really did write also.
I changed my mind about letting "Victoria's people" know that I was providing security for my family now. I knew if I did that, Victoria would find out about it. I did not want that. It could put her in an uncomfortable light with her people. Also, I did not want her to know for her own protection. And... I just did not want her to know. Period. I wasn't so sure there was not a leak somewhere in her organization. I would just depend on the people I was working with to keep things under control. They were the ultimate professionals. Chances are "Victoria's people" would not even know they were there.
When I got home, I discovered a message on the answering machine from Victoria saying she would be home this weekend. Good. It was going to be a special time, because it was our birthday.
Yes, our birthday. One of the odd things about Victoria and I was that we shared the same birthday. We thought it was neat when we first started going together. Just another one of those similarities that attracted us from the beginning. Like both of us being shy growing up... Both of us being number one in our class in high school. Both of us being kind of nerds and computer geeks. Both of us being adopted. It was as if we were made for each other. We still felt that way. However, it made for really fun birthdays. It became a big family event, usually lasting for the whole weekend. We would go see her parents over the weekend also, almost like Christmas. It did help a lot in not forgetting her birthday. I guess it really wasn't that weird. There were four people in my grade school class that had the same birthday as me. I guess I could have married any one of them. Well, three of them, anyway. I would have had to change my sexual preference to marry the fourth one. Anyway, Victoria always managed to get home over that time. It was the one time she never failed to get off.
When I got home, Amy and Katie were already home. Katie was sitting there, all puffy eyed from crying, and Amy had her arm around her, looking serious. She had that 'do something, fix it daddy' look on her face. Uh oh. Another crisis. I hoped it was a silly teenage one, not something serious.
Well, I had plenty of experience with things like this with Cindi. Would I ever stop being sad when I thought about her? I went over, sat next to Katie, and put my arm around her. She dived into my chest and started sobbing. Katie is not as emotional as Cindi was, but she was not far off. She did know how to cry. I looked over at Amy. She just looked at me with big serious eyes and said nothing. Soon the waterworks dried up a little.
"Hey, pretty girl, want to tell me what the matter is?"
She shook her head no. I tickled her a little, getting a little smile.
"Are you sure?"
She nodded her head. So I tickled her some more. She started giggling. I kept tickling her until she was laughing and trying to get away. I held her down.
"Please, stop!" she giggled.
"What will you give me if I stop?"
"Anything!"
"Anything?" I smirked.
She giggled. "Well, almost anything. I lost that a long time ago!" Giggle.
"Well, I guess I'll just have to settle for you telling me what the matter is, then."
Her lip quivered. "You cheated! That's not fair!"
"It can't be that bad, Katie. We will figure it out. Let me help you. That's what Daddy's are for."
"My mom kicked me out of the house!" she sobbed. "What am I going to do? I don't have anywhere to go, I have no money, and I can't even get a job." I kept myself from smiling. This was serious to her. But a 13-year-old even thinking she could get a job?
"Is there any other relative you could live with?" I asked.
"No one cares about me. Who cares about a foster child? Even my mother and father never really cared. I won't go live with my father! I won't! I won't! I will run away first! Even if there were someone that wanted me, I would have to move and not see Amy anymore. She is the only friend I have... I cannot go back to that empty place again...
"I'll kill myself first." She whispered in a tiny voice.
Amy looked terrified. My heart turned over. I lost it. I grabbed her by her shoulders and shook her.
"You will not! You will never do that! I won't allow it! You understand me!" I yelled at her. "I won't lose another daughter," I whispered, tears running down my face.
"I'm sorry. I don't want to hurt you. You've been so nice to me. But, I will not go back to my father. And I won't leave Amy. I can't go back there... I can't. You have no idea what it's like... I would die."
She was serious. I could see it in her face. She was more upset than I had ever seen her, but at the same time, she was icy calm about what she said. She hugged Amy, sobbing.
"Well, it seems to me this is easy to fix. You can just stay here. You are here most of the time anyway. You can just move into... Cindi's room."
"I couldn't do that."
"Why? You don't like us?" I teased.
She missed the teasing. "Oh, no! It's not that! I love you people! I just couldn't impose on you."
"Cindi, you would not be imposing. I love you like a daughter. You are rapidly filling an empty place in me that I thought would never be filled again. You are more than welcome here as long as you want," I assured her.
She looked at me shyly, with tears in her eyes. "You called me Cindi," she said in a soft voice.
I looked at her, shocked. I thought back to what I had said. I had. She looked like her. She was taking her place in my heart. I had been afraid I would make that mistake and call her that someday.
"I'm sorry."
"I'm not," she said, fervently. "I would love you to think of me as Cindi. I will gladly be your Cindi any day." We hugged each other and cried. I wondered if she would say that if she knew everything Cindi had been to me. Whom was I kidding? She probably would in a heartbeat. I was the one that had a problem with it. Even my wife did not mind.
Finally, I booted them off the couch.
"Go make supper, you two freeloaders. I have some work to do"
"Freeloaders! How dare you!" Amy giggled. Zing! I got out of there before the next pillow flew.
I went into the other room and called Victoria.
"Hello?"
"Hi!"
"Hi. Is everything ok? The last time you called me like this..."
"No," I reassured her. "Everything is fine."
"In that case, Hi! This is a pleasant surprise. I love hearing from you!"
"I have a question to ask you. Katie was kicked out of her house today. Can she stay here?"
Victoria squealed in delight. "Of course she can! You didn't even need to ask. Wait... there's more, isn't there?"
"Well... yeah. Promise you won't yell at me? And you'll tell me honestly what you really think?"
"Ok. What did you do? I am going to yell at you if you don't tell me pretty quick!"
"Well," I stalled, "I just found out that Katie is a foster child. What would you think about us... adopting her?"
There was a long pause. My heart was in my throat. Then I heard Victoria sniffle.
"Are you crying?"
"God, I love you so much!" she said firmly but quietly. "You are so sweet. I think that is the most wonderful idea I have ever heard. You really love her, don't you?"
"I can't explain it, Victoria. I miss Cindi so much, but when Katie is around, it is a little easier to take. I know she's not Cindi, but she just fits in there so well. She needs to have a family so bad, and she wants it to be us. Are you sure you don't mind?"
"Mind? I think it is a wonderful idea. We can talk about it with her this weekend. We will need to talk to her mother. She can move into Cindi's room. Even some of her clothes..." Victoria was off and running. Being a Mom. I told her I had to go eat dinner and I would talk to her later.
When I went back into the kitchen, I remembered Katie's cell phone. I brought it into the kitchen.
"Here, Katie, I got this for you today."
Her mouth fell open. She looked at it as if I had just given her a new car. Amy ran over to look at it. They both jumped up and down in the middle of the floor, giggling. Dinner was forgotten for a while as they sat down and did those things that only teenagers know how to do with electronics. Did you know Amy can actually program the VCR we have? Certifiable genius. We do not use it much anymore, but she still programs it whenever it needs it, making sure I am in the room when she does it, just to irritate me. I finally took the phone away from them so we could eat. They looked like I had just taken their puppy to the pound.
"You can have it back after supper. Don't cry, Amy!" She stuck out her tongue at me.
"You must carry that with you everywhere you go, you understand, Katie?" She nodded. "Amy, do you carry yours with you all the time?"
"Usually."
"All the time, Amy. Without fail," I told her. Amy looked at me, head cocked to one side slightly. Then she gave me an imperceptible nod of her head, a serious look on her face.
"Yes, Daddy." I could see the question in her eyes.
Later that night, as I tried to go to sleep, I felt Amy slide into bed and snuggle up to me.
"Are you awake, Daddy?"
"Of course. How could I be asleep with a pretty girl cuddled up to me?"
"Flatterer!" she giggled. There was a pause. "Do you really think I'm pretty?" she asked shyly.
What was this? Lack of confidence from Amy?
I turned over to face her. "Amy, you are just about the prettiest girl I have ever seen. You have to know you're pretty."
"Just about? I know. It's just... you're my Dad. I wasn't sure you would think so."
"It works the other way, pretty lady. Dad's always think their babies are pretty."
"So, do you think I'm as pretty as you did the last time I was in bed with you?" she giggled. I knew right away what she was referring to  the time her hand had accidentally brushed against me. She reached over slowly, and laid her hand against me. "Oh my goodness! I guess so!" She removed her hand. "Thank you, Daddy."
Then, she got to why she really came to see me.
"What's wrong, Daddy? Why do you seem so sad tonight?"
"I'm sorry, honey. I have just been... really missing Cindi today. Some days are worse than others... this has been a bad one." I confessed.
"I know. If you could have anything, Daddy, other than having her back  that's a given  what would you want?"
"I think I would just like to talk to her one more time. Just hear her voice one more time."
"Close your eyes, Daddy," Amy said softly.
As I lay there with my eyes closed, wondering what was going to happen, knowing if Amy was involved it would be good and not boring, I felt a soft kiss on my cheek.
"I'm so glad to be here with you, Daddy, I just love you so much and I know that you love me too and I just miss you so much Daddy and you know I would be here with you if I could, please don't be sad for me Daddy I can't stand to see you sad you know I love you and take good care of Mommy and Amy and Katie for me, ok Daddy?"
My God! Cindi! It was her voice, her way of speaking! I missed those run on sentences. Before I could open my eyes in shock, Amy put her hands gently on my eyelids.
"Uh uh. Keep those eyes closed, or she will go away. Wait here." I felt her leave my side.
A minute later, I swear I felt Cindi's body snuggle up to me. I continued to hear Cindi speaking softly to me, telling me how much she loved me, holding me, kissing me gently on my neck and cheek. Then she said goodbye and left me.
When Amy told me, I opened my eyes. Katie was snuggled up to me, smiling shyly, eyes bright and moist. Amy was smiling gently.
"Ok, I understand the body, which was Katie  she looks and feels so much like Cindi. Thank you, dear." I said, as I kissed her. She blushed. "But where did the voice come from, the manner of speaking?"
Amy laughed. "Daddy, I have lived with Cindi for 13 years. We went everywhere together. We shared thoughts, good times and bad. I know her maybe better than she knew herself. I am Cindi and she is me. I can be Cindi for you anytime you want. All you had to do was ask. I wasn't sure I wouldn't make you sadder if I was her for you, so I didn't dare." She bit her lower lip, a sign she was thinking of asking something. "Have you been dreaming of her?" she asked softly. She noticed my look of surprise. "Me too. Very realistic dreams." She tilted her head to the side. "I don't know what it means. Go to sleep now, Daddy."
Katie started to get up off the bed.
"Oh, no, little girl. After that performance, you have to play Cindi all night tonight. You're sleeping here with me." I said as I held her hands. Amy looked at Cindi's face and laughed. "Not like that, dear. Just to snuggle." I told her.
"Darn!" Katie said sheepishly. She and Amy snuggled with me all night long, one on each side. It was the best night's sleep I had had in awhile. It was the first time I went all night without missing Cindi, feeling sad about her. I love my girls!
I woke up the next morning feeling as well loved as a man could be. Katie was laying on top of me (God, she reminds me of Cindi more every day!) and Amy was snuggled as close to me as she could get without being on top of me, with her head on my shoulder and her arm and one leg thrown over me. Man, I have cuddly girls! Since both of them have really long hair, one blond and the other black, there was hair scattered all over the bed, making a pretty two-tone collage. I just lay there for a while, enjoying the view, with a lump in my throat.
Finally, I decided it was time to begin the arduous task of getting these pretty, sleepy little teenagers up for the day. What is it with these kids, anyway? They are the most impressive bundles of energy all day long, never tiring out; but as soon as they hit the bed, waking them up is like waking up the dead. Maybe I should just make thunder noises in Amy's ear  that would wake her up! Maybe not  she was already in daddy's bed, where she runs to be safe! They moaned and groaned, whined and whimpered as I tried to convince them to get out of bed. Finally, I had to use the nuclear option; the threat of a glass of ice water over their heads. Their eyes flew open immediately when I threatened that; "You wouldn't dare!" they protested, with this 'would you?' look in their eyes. What would adults ever do for fun without teenagers to tease?
I got the girls bundled off to school and then went to work. There was nothing new on either the hospital or the police front as far as the investigations. Everything was fine until about 11:30, when I received a call from the school to come pick up my daughter. The school assured me that she was fine, but I needed to take her home. Puzzled, I arrived to find Amy and Katie in the waiting room of the principal's office. Both looked somewhat disheveled. Amy was mad! Katie looked scared. Before I could talk to them, the principal called me into his office. After introducing himself and exchanging pleasantries, we got down to business.
"We had an altercation here at the school involving your daughter Amy and, as I understand it, another young lady that is in your care, Katie. I brought you in here before you talked to them to let you know that all the eyewitness accounts, and my investigation has verified that neither your daughter nor Katie were to blame for the situation that developed. They did not start it. Your daughter did, however, finish it in rather spectacular fashion. If it were not for Katie's calming influence on Amy, things could have gotten out of hand."
"What happened? How did it all start?" I asked.
"There is a group of girls and boys here who have never liked, nor gotten along with the group of cheerleaders your daughter and Katie are a part of. They have never gotten along well, but there has never been a problem before. Apparently that changed today, due to some emotional stress you daughter has been under?"
"Amy has been under a lot of stress. In the last two months, she has almost died herself from a very serious illness and her twin sister was killed in an automobile accident. She has made remarkable progress in the last couple of weeks, but she is still a little fragile and unstable at times. So, what did the unfortunate "victims" make the mistake of saying or doing to Amy?" I enquired.
"I really hate to even go into what happened, as it was rather crude, but you have a right to know. Apparently, Katie has never been very popular with the crowd outside her immediate circle of friends, and she has been teased a lot. She also apparently has at least a reputation among the gossip crowd of being more sexually active than most of the other girls. We have seen no proof of that, but the rumor is there. Apparently, one of the boys that she has refused to date called her a slut. Several of the girls friendly with him joined in. This has happened before, but this is the first time Amy heard it. Amy calmly informed them that if they wished to continue living in the manner they had become accustomed, they would not refer to her friend that way. Apparently the two of them have gotten quite close." He stopped speaking at this point.
"Yes, they have. But so far you haven't told me anything that would account for my daughter and her friend being in the principal's office." I looked at him questioningly.
"That's true. This part is painful for me to relate to you. Apparently, the group in question then turned their attention to Amy, and... um... asked her if she was going to defend this slut since her own slut sister wasn't around anymore."
I gasped and turned white, I am sure. The principal looked very upset and concerned.
"I guess I should ask at this point how many of those children are still in the hospital."
"It was over pretty quickly. Your daughter seems to have had some good teachers in the art of self-defense. All four of the offending students were on the ground in very short order. By that time, Katie was over her shock and removed Amy from the scene. Fortunately, none of the students were seriously hurt. I think once the parents understand what happened and the ramifications of the nature of the teasing, it will all blow over quickly. I would, however, encourage you to talk to your daughter about over reacting to unpleasant stimuli."
I thanked the principal for his time and understanding, and went out to collect my little juvenile delinquents. Amy appeared to be more scared than angry now; Katie, not knowing how I dealt with such situations, was very scared. I took them out to the car, put them in, and headed for home, without saying a word.
"Daddy..." Amy started.
"Not now, Amy. We will talk when we get home." Both of them looked unhappy.
When we got inside the house, we all sat down on the couch.
"First of all, are either of you hurt?" I asked calmly.
They both shook their heads no.
"Ok. Good. Now, suppose you two explain to me why I had to go down to the school today to pick up my daughter, my sweet gentle daughter who is the apple of my eye, who has never been in trouble in her life, to take her home, because of fighting. Fighting??? What got into you, Amy? I never thought I would be disappointed in you." I looked at Katie. "I'm glad at least someone had enough sense to do the smart thing." I sighed in frustration. I saw Amy's eyes fill with tears. Since she had been a little girl, the most effective way to discipline her was to show disappointment in her.
"Daddy..." Tears flowed down her face as her lower lip trembled and her voice shook. She covered her face with her hands and sobbed.
I pulled her over onto my lap and hugged her close, as she put her arms around my neck and cried. After a few minutes, she calmed down. I wiped her tears, held a Kleenex to her nose, and told her to blow. She gave me an 'I'm not a baby' look, and then blew her nose.
I kissed her forehead. "Tell me, honey, what happened."
"We were minding our own b... b... business and they started c... c... calling Katie a slut and I told them to s... s... stop, and then they called Cindi a slut," she sobbed. "Cindi wasn't a slut, Daddy, she was r... r... raped! She wasn't a slut!" She cried softly, tears rolling down her face. Katie was looking at us, eyes wide in horror, as she started crying also. She obviously had never heard about what Amy was referring to. She looked terrified; I really did not like the look on her face. 'Please, do not let this mean what I think it means' I prayed.
"And so you beat them up. Amy, both the principal and I were impressed how you handled yourself, but what were you trying to accomplish?
"I was protecting Cindi!" she whispered. She looked at me, confused.
"From what, Amy? Amy, honey, I am so sorry, but Cindi is dead. How did it help her by what you did? How would she have been hurt if you had walked away? Amy, honey, you risked getting hurt, and hurting others, being kicked out of school, and maybe even spending time in juvenile detention had someone been severely hurt. You also risked Katie getting hurt had the fight gone differently. Did you think of that? Did you think that if you get kicked out of school you would have to go to another school different from Katie?"
Amy was crying again, her eyes wide in shock as she looked at Katie. Katie was not paying attention to us; she had a dazed look on her face, as if she was in another world. I was afraid the world her mind was in right now was not a very pleasant place. I was worried about her. Something was going on here.
"What would you have done, Daddy?" Amy asked in a tiny voice.
I sighed. I knew we were going to get here eventually. All I could do was be honest with her.
"Amy, I would probably have kicked their asses, just like you did. And I would have been just as wrong as you were. Reactions like what you had in that situation must be reserved for situations where life is in danger, or protecting the well-being of others, or even defense of property. But you must pick the times very carefully when such actions are used."
"I'm so sorry, Daddy! I didn't think. I just got so mad. Please don't be mad at me."
"I'm not mad at you, honey. I understand. You have been through some hard times lately. I probably would have done the same thing had someone said those things about Cindi, especially now. I am not so upset at what you did, honey. I just want you to think next time, that this does not become a habit in how you react to these situations. By the way, honey, where did you learn how to fight like that?"
"I didn't. I just knew what to do. I don't know how."
I turned to Katie.
"Katie, honey, why don't you go take a shower and get ready for bed?" She pulled herself away from her thoughts and went into the bathroom.
"Ok, Amy, I've gotten Katie out of here so she doesn't hear things she shouldn't. Now, ask what I can see in your eyes you want to ask."
"What about Mommy, Daddy? How do the things she does fit into this? What about the time at the fair?"
"The fair was a different situation. Both you and your Mother's well-being, if not your life were in danger. They meant to at least rape the two of you. Maybe your Mother over-reacted, but she had reason to be worried and that is how she has been trained. Amy, your Mother is an adult. All adults have to make decisions to do the things they feel are right. Your Mother's job requires her to do things that in other situations or for other people would be wrong. I know she only uses her abilities in situations where she has to, in self-defense or in defense of her family. I have talked to others in her organization and verified that. Even though she is totally committed to what she does, there are many times when she comes home after being out of town that she cries at night when she thinks I am asleep. Don't ever tell her I know that. She pays a price for what she feels has to be done. I respect her greatly for that."
"I understand, Daddy. So you do know what Mommy's job is?"
"Yes, sweetie, I know what she does; I just let her think I don't. I have told you that, too. It is sometimes better to not broadcast everything you know."
Amy looked at me thoughtfully. "Like not telling us everything you do also, right Dad?"
I reached over and kissed her on the cheek. "I think it's time for you to go to bed, Amy. Go kick Katie out of the shower before she uses all the hot water."
After everything that went on that day, and the long talk with Amy, I could not sleep that night. I went down into the basement and watched TV, hoping to fall asleep on the couch. But all I could think of was that look on Katie's face and in her eyes. I hoped she was ok.
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