justjim
Member Since October 19, 2009
Farm Yard Melody (Part 1)
by
new_age_sandman
5069 days ago
justjim
5542 days ago
new_age_sandman
5069 days ago
justjim
5542 days ago
-
5
+
edit a little better beforeposting... other than that a nice puppy tail
My Secret Love
by
opee1999
opee1999
We've all read worse and this is a bit better than you last offering. Try again.
Lisa
by
heater
heater
What happened to the lead in? What happened to the ending? Nice little midsection but that's all it is.
Shaving Christy: Revised
by
SilentSpirit
SilentSpirit
Very nice first effort. Spend a little more time editing and getting your time line correct. Having bacon and pancakes in one moment and calling it dinner in the next is a glaring example. Don't stop writing, try again.
Farm Yard Melody
by
new_age_sandman
new_age_sandman
i enjoyed the story but i think you need to try the spell check... and please, don't stop writing
A Great Vacation
by
Dyechamp
Dyechamp
not a bad first try but you should havespent more time in editing than in hand pumping to see if it read well... try again
A Great Vacation
by
Dyechamp
Dyechamp
not a bad first try but you should have spent more time in editing than in hand pumping to see if it read well... try again
Dog's Bitch in Heat Part III
by
Rodger-the-Dodger
Rodger-the-Dodger
not bad, let's get a little more in depth and make the storys a bit longer