jeffreyd
Member Since October 19, 2009
Car trouble
by
big round titties
5081 days ago
jeffreyd
5553 days ago
big round titties
5081 days ago
jeffreyd
5553 days ago
-
10
+
This was a great story. very descriptive and kept my attention.
Nat likes what Kat likes.
by
Vaughan
Vaughan
That sucked, your spelling, content and grammer. Read some good stories then try again.
My Cousin's Wedding
by
FoxyFun4Play
FoxyFun4Play
That was one of the best stories I have read in a long time. I look forward to others.
jeff
jdm068014@yahoo.com
jeff
jdm068014@yahoo.com
Loss of innocence--first time with a man
by
dirtysecrets
dirtysecrets
I give this story a quarter hard. The spelling wasnt that great and the story was boring. You moved from one thing to the next too quickly. Give more detail about the characters, the feelings, the scents, let your reader feel the story.
Volleyball Girls
by
donna_mom
donna_mom
This story has potential but you tell too much in to little of a time. Slow down give more detail of scenes.
Emily
by
pinkstaff
pinkstaff
It was an ok story. It wasnt very original, but it was arousing. It could have used a little more detail, but other than a few mispelled words the writing was pretty good. Keep up the good work.
Rape of Jackie
by
spikesinverted
spikesinverted
Be more descriptive. Breast size, penis size etc. Give detail so the reader can see the action in your story.
Seduction On A School Bus
by
handy69
handy69
Very good idea. It really had be feeling the mood, but it was too short and lacked detail. Describe the action, the feeling. A reader must feel what the characters are feeling to get the whole picture.
My First Time
by
chumpstain
chumpstain
You show potential. Tell what Amy looks like. Detail her tits, ass and pussy. Your content is ok, you have good grammer, and content is there, just lacks detail. You want the reader to see you and Amy as they read.
Cousins 2
by
snail
snail
Very good story. The only that could have made it better was a better description of your mother, aunt and angie. THe description of yourself was good, I could picture you in every situation, but the other ladies I couldnt. Keep up the good work. I look f
Ambers Anal Experience
by
Cobra1982
Cobra1982
Too short. It started good but it ended before it had time to blossom.
School Was For Chumps
by
zoominglemons
zoominglemons
What guy would stop an older woman in the middle of having sex?
The Trouble With Alana
by
hillarysmuff
hillarysmuff
Finally a great story, I give it a 9.98 hard on. It could have been longer, but the detail was very good. I could see Alana's tits bouncing in front of my face.
Care Bear
by
theresa_the_teazer
theresa_the_teazer
This was really a sweet story, but it was one big paragraph. The detail was better but it still needs work. It was a nice improvement.