dickinkum
Member Since October 19, 2009
When I was 16
by
elainepwl
5071 days ago
dickinkum
5542 days ago
elainepwl
5071 days ago
dickinkum
5542 days ago
-
3
+
Good premise; excess description slows it a bit but you have descriptive talent
The Toronto Run
by
britneyh80@yahoo.com
britneyh80@yahoo.com
poor grammer and wrong word usage; i.e. fare for fair, are immediate distractions.
You really need to edit.
You had a good premise for your story but it ran away from you. It became too crammed with acts and all of them therefore were of less value. I
You really need to edit.
You had a good premise for your story but it ran away from you. It became too crammed with acts and all of them therefore were of less value. I