Sarah_Girl
Member Since October 19, 2009
Swimming Time With Sister
by
aabbdd112233
5071 days ago
Sarah_Girl
5542 days ago
aabbdd112233
5071 days ago
Sarah_Girl
5542 days ago
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4
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Learn the difference between 'were' and 'where'
Father's Diary
by
Journalist
Journalist
jayloves69 - did you read any of the sentence AFTER "Clever, handsome, rich"?.
While that wasn't a mistake, the story was filled with far too many grammatical errors, and places where completely wrong words were used, for it to be truly enjoyable. The pl
While that wasn't a mistake, the story was filled with far too many grammatical errors, and places where completely wrong words were used, for it to be truly enjoyable. The pl
Perverted Neighbour
by
Journalist
Journalist
... that he is writing this in order to improve his English, so some mistakes were bound to occur. Ironically, his wriiten English is still probably better than 75% of American teenagers. Th eonly problem I had with the story was trying to believe that a
My violent rape in the hands of my secretary & my driver.
by
Orgasm_teacher
Orgasm_teacher
When I saw the term "very much sec C" in the third line, I knew it was time to stop reading. Based on the other review, I was right.
A walk in the woods
by
theboo
theboo
... write and how to use a spellchecker, since you obviously lack spelling skills. And don't bother posting more until you have a piece that is more than a badly writen paragraph.
Peeking
by
storyteller00069
storyteller00069
...that you ruined a good story by lack of paragraphing. Starting a new paragraph for each sentence gives the story an irritating stacatto effect. Please learn what paragraphs are for and write it again.
A secret revealed
by
Sarah_Girl
Sarah_Girl
Um Debbie, if you'd read the previous comments, you'd see I tried to use paragraphing, but I simply used plain text so the extra whitespace was removed. I'm still trying to find out how the formatting code here works, but since my forum registration conf
A secret revealed
by
Sarah_Girl
Sarah_Girl
It's the introduction to a larger piece, Intended to set the scene. The second installment has all the sex. However, unless I can figure out gow to do the formattig, I won't add the second part.
My 16th b-day
by
xshadex45x
xshadex45x
You write like you are talking in a chat room - "y r u asking sis?" You do know that y, r and u, are not words, right? Don't bother continuing as your start is boring and just like 1000 others. Start from scratch and TRY to be original next time. And use
Raped By Trusted Brother
by
shamboozle
shamboozle
The lack of paragraphing probably isn't his fault. I've submitted stories that were clearly parapgraphed when submitted, but then when published were just Walls of Words. Based on how often you see that here, it's a common problem.
seducing daddy
by
KTD69
KTD69
Firstly, use a spell-checker as your spelling isn't very good. You also need to proof read what you've written so that you pick up silly mistakes like: "Ashley had just turned 14 the on saturday". Preferably, get someone else to do this for you.
You a
You a
Island romance with my daughter
by
saberman
saberman
it was spoilt by a couple of exagerated descriptions. Perhaps you don't know how big an inch is, but inch long nipples on b-cup breasts would look deformed, not nice. And if she had 2 inch wide labia, she'd have to walk like a cowboy.