Rydeordie467
Member Since October 19, 2009
My first time
by
vixiexynne
5071 days ago
Rydeordie467
5542 days ago
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0
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I'm not much for these type of stories, but that was well written. Keep at it.
Ashley...My first time with a stranger!
Had potential, but you rushed it. Don't be afraid to let your story develop. And please, read over your story and use spell check before you post it.
The Deal
...But like the last person said, no emotion. The average teenage girl would be petrified to learn that she'd be given to some random older man for a weekend of sex. Not realistic at all.
middle school slut
You need to work on your sentance structure. See you run on like this a lot so it kind of makes the story hard to read for everyone that visits the site and it makes them dislike the story and then you get bad reviews. Use commas, semi-colons and most imp