Lazerous
Member Since October 19, 2009
Stranded at sea with mom. part1
by
mind_warrior_2000
4856 days ago
Lazerous
4856 days ago
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0
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This is a great chapter! Word of advice: you do have some grammar mistakes and try to make shorter paragraphs. So however many paragraphs you have now, if you double that, it would actually be a lot better!
The Audrey Blake Experience
great story could use a better ending though.....
Michelle. Big and sexy
wonderful story, wish it was a little bit longer or if you would write a sequel!
Mia Suocera - My Mother-in-Law Ch. 01
how do we understand this?
An Encounter with Janice
great story but wheres the picture?
To Take a Thief - Chapter III
man....i want my own cuban maid.......
Sleep`n with mom6
Not even a break between sentences! You have a big spacing problem among others.
Texas
Punctuation rules need a review and try to put a bit more content and make each section LONGER!
Ms Erikson's cock
hope you write more
She Hulk goes wild
Story is pretty good, try ending it a little better. You were doing good for the beginning and middle of the story but it seems that the ending was kind of rushed.
To Take a Thief - Chapter 2
Wonderful addition to the last chapter.
Aunt Serene (My Best Friends Mum)
great story! good to see you back!