Jace9900's Avatar
Jace9900 Member Since October 19, 2009
Outdoor Fun...... by comlust 5071 days ago
Jace9900 5542 days ago
- 0 + Your English needs a some work. You mixed tenses and mis-spelled a few words. I would also like to recommend a more elongated (sorry for the pun) sex section. Try to be a bit more descriptive, but overall not bad for a first story.