BVRETR
Member Since October 19, 2009
Loving Brother
by
justjim
5070 days ago
BVRETR
5543 days ago
justjim
5070 days ago
BVRETR
5543 days ago
-
1
+
Your subject could have been a good story. However between spelling and grammar errors, not to mention the wall of words, this is complete trash!
My Secret Love
by
opee1999
opee1999
This story seemed a little rushed to me. Still, all in all it's a good story line and believable as well. The only real errors I saw were where you used the wrong word or wrong form of a word. Your spell check would probably have not picked up on those
Me and my cousin pt. 1
by
who_dis_be
who_dis_be
You have a semi-workable story line. However, the errors in spelling, capitalization, punctuation make your story very difficult to read. Also, you need to get more detailed in your story, both in character development and in the sex scenes. Remember t
My Georgia Peaches - Chapter 1
by
BVRETR
BVRETR
I can't thank you enough for your great comments. I was a little worried how well this 1st story would be received. Not that this is the 1st that I've written, but the 1st published on this site. Chapter 2 was posted today. However, it was nearly a mo
On the Road Again
by
_Brent_123
_Brent_123
While your formatting needs a little work and at one point "Kris" became "Shelly" (Not sure how that happened) It was a good effort. It gave me a good hardon!
Summer Of 61
by
kwvagabond
kwvagabond
Looks promising, but you really need to work on the formatting. It would appear you attempted paragraphing, but on the upload to this site, it was not picked up. Try double spacing between paragraphs or change word processing programs.
Looking forwa
Looking forwa
Infatuated with my cousin!
by
bilgepilfer
bilgepilfer
Very well written. A pleasure to read such a hot story. I too, had sex with my cousin but we were both high school teenagers at the time.
My Daughters Best Friend
by
Kain Starbow
Kain Starbow
You could have had a good story here. However, aside from the one continuous paragraph, you rushed the sex scenes and appear to have lost track of where you had already been!
In the living room you say, "I scooted up to her and heard her take a breath
In the living room you say, "I scooted up to her and heard her take a breath
I Probably Shouldn't Have Done This
by
ATChilton
ATChilton
Over all, a hot little story. A little rushed in the sex with Dakota. I would probably have used a little more detail there. Still a very good story. Perhaps you'd consider a second part, describing sex with Morgan?
Keep up the good work.
Keep up the good work.
Lisa's friend gets her dad horny
by
sugaray
sugaray
But then you rushed the story, especially the sex. Sex is like a fine glass of brandy. It's meant to be slowly sipped and enjoyed, not gulped! Maybe in part two you could work on a little slower buildup towards sex with his own daughter.
Grandfather Needs Cynthia (part 2)
by
Seductress1969
Seductress1969
Very well done but I think I'll need to go relieve some pressure after that one. ;-)
Sweet Marie (Part 3)
by
Seductress1969
Seductress1969
…and just when I thought it couldn’t get any better. This made me hard as hell. Your pen-name fits your writing style. By all means, carry on.
Sweet Marie (part 2)
by
Seductress1969
Seductress1969
Damn! This is so hot. Good pace for this story. Keep up the good work.