AllisonZiza
Member Since October 19, 2009
Our second time
by
Dawn_1
5101 days ago
AllisonZiza
5573 days ago
Dawn_1
5101 days ago
AllisonZiza
5573 days ago
-
10
+
use a spell check... your grammar and spelling are horrible.
Strange questions
by
Devilstale
Devilstale
the only thing you really need to do is to go back and create paragraphs so its easier on the eyes
The Sleepover in the Closet.
by
geeps
geeps
this story was great, but there were a bunch of spelling and punctuation errors that you could have fixed.
Girl Scout Camp Chronicles, Part One
by
DeeDee18
DeeDee18
amazing story, keep writing..
but i think this is more of a lesbian story rather then a teen story, no?
but i think this is more of a lesbian story rather then a teen story, no?
Girl Scout Camp Chronicles, Part Two
by
DeeDee18
DeeDee18
you are great. keep writing.
A story idea? Maybe get a teenage guy (15-16?) to come in and screw some girls
A story idea? Maybe get a teenage guy (15-16?) to come in and screw some girls
Spying Cousin Part 1
by
Chim
Chim
work on your spelling and grammar. sentence structure...
you know, the stuff they teach you at grammar school
you know, the stuff they teach you at grammar school
At the family picnic
by
Rakonat
Rakonat
the story itself is AWSOME!, but you really need to work on the structure and spelling. You commonly mispell works and they're all bunched together, making the story hard to read.
If you ran it through microsoft word and made some paragraphs, this wou
If you ran it through microsoft word and made some paragraphs, this wou
Falling for Brother Part 5---Re-Edited
by
Naughty_Bear123
Naughty_Bear123
Edit the thing on here then... and make sure you INCLUDE PARAGRAPHS!
Falling For Brother-Part Four
by
Naughty_Bear123
Naughty_Bear123
You really need to space your story out into paragraphs. No one is going to read them unless they are edited into sections
Daddy's LIttle Girl
by
MissSerious
MissSerious
good story.. but this "Dragon" guy is really annoying me.. he writes the same things on every story... hes probably 12 years old or somehting
Falling For Brother-Part 3
by
Naughty_Bear123
Naughty_Bear123
space your story out. (Its good but it sucks if we can't read it easily.
Summer of Sex (Revised Edition 2)
by
sex.stories.post
sex.stories.post
the only thing you need to revise is your grammar. for example, ts whether, not weather