Afterchild
Member Since October 19, 2009
GirlHunt Part 1
by
editor
5134 days ago
Afterchild
5606 days ago
editor
5134 days ago
Afterchild
5606 days ago
-
3
+
Good concept, but seriously bad grammar. You should say "more and more intense" instead of "intenser." Of course it's right here, instead of "rite hear." That's just a beginning.
Kelsey and Jamantha prt2: the Morning After
by
Ch0c0lat3G1rl
Ch0c0lat3G1rl
I think you set the stage very well here. You provided a good background but you didn't make it boring. I really look forward to seeing the second installment.
Amanda from the Video Store
by
D.O. Mann
D.O. Mann
I think you use your adjectives quite well. I loved the way you build up the sexual tension and release it in very cliche, yet surprisingly refreshing "schoolgirl" moment.