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Amasterfound
12-12-2012, 07:06 PM
The Christmas Angel

One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip … but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.

Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mother was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more.

When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress.

Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys.

So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whiskey. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw it was made from.

Just then the doorbell rang and Santa cursed on his way to the door. He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.

All radiant and smiling; the angel said, very cheerfully, “Merry Christmas Santa. Isn’t it just a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Isn’t it just a lovely tree? Where would you like me to stick it?”

Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

kaidman
12-12-2012, 07:31 PM
hehe funny

niteowluk2003
12-13-2012, 12:37 AM
I heard a slightly different version about the fairy on top of a christmas tree. but both were very funny.

my version.

Traditionally before the big superstores and K-mart's; Santa used to deliver the tree along with the presents, hence the tradition of decorating the tree on Christmas Eve;

Well after one particularly diffficult and weary christmas delivery trip, Santa returned to the North Pole exhausted and was met by the chief Fairy who said, "Santa you ain't gonna believe this!", "but look what I found that you left behind!" and produced a particularly lovely six foot Canadian Spruce Christmas tree.

Well santa simply replied, "Well you know what you can do with that!" hence the tradition of sticking a fairy on top of a Christmas tree.

niteowluk2003
12-13-2012, 12:40 AM
I never claim to be a poet but this may find a chord with some of you out there.

Christmas Turkey, you can stuff it.
Roast potatoes , sprouts and all,
Whose this geezer, Father Christmas,
He got stoned and lost control,
Hey Santa leave the booze alone,
Drunk so much that he drove his sleigh through the wall.

(Best sung to the tune of Pink Floyd's another brick in the wall.)

ironeagle2
12-23-2012, 09:29 AM
funny

Brigit Astar
12-23-2012, 02:43 PM
I never claim to be a poet but this may find a chord with some of you out there.

Christmas Turkey, you can stuff it.
Roast potatoes , sprouts and all,
Whose this geezer, Father Christmas,
He got stoned and lost control,

Hey Santa leave the booze alone,
Drunk so much that he drove his sleigh through the wall.

(Best sung to the tune of Pink Floyd's another brick in the wall.)

I'm a big Pink Floyd fan, but I have to say your poem fits the tune perfectly.