kaidman
08-06-2012, 04:57 AM
by oldkingclancy
this one had the most dramatic change as it tore me up inside to read it as the author is quite good at writing the best stories are the ones that touch your souls this one had me so worked up that I tore up the yard when pulling weeds now whenever I hear the song hotel california I get keyed up really bad you wouldn't want to provoke me while its playing in earshot of me but I digress you will only understand my angst by reading part 1 first this one has reversed the positions of the first one this story has another chapter but the author didn't finish with it and has promised a fourth one after his holiday is over and he can finish it thank you
**
1996
"Hello?"
"Adam, is that you?"
"Yeah."
"It's Liam?"
"Oh hey. What you calling for? It's almost midnight here."
"Sorry, forgot the time difference. It's about your Aunt Jane. Adam she's dead."
Adam played the conversation out in his head over and over as the taxi took him down a somewhat familiar street. His Aunt Jane, dead. He'd known about the cancer for two, two and a half years now but he never made the visit over to see her, he regretted that now. The last time they saw each other he had just told her he was sleeping with her daughter, his cousin.
Oh God Lexi. How would she feel about his return? From his phone conversations with Liam over the past five years she hated him, then she missed him, then she loved him, then she wanted him dead until about the time Jane got cancer and her and Liam lost touch.
The taxi pulled up outside his parent's house, in accordance with her wishes Jane was being buried in Scotland alongside her parents, the funeral was being held later that day but a few people were meeting first at the house. Adam got out the taxi and took his luggage to the front door, he waited a few minutes, taking deep breaths. It had been five years since it he saw anyone, five years since he ran away, even his parents were strangers to him.
Adam held his breath and knocked on the door.
The door was opened by Damien, he was obviously sad but he hid it. He looked over Adam taking in the sight and trying to recognize him.
"Hello Adam."
"Hello Damien."
"You're mum's in the kitchen. You can leave your bag in the back room."
"Thanks."
An awkward silence passed between them, it never broke but Damien walked away, he wasn't happy to see Adam, as he walked through the house it seemed like that was the main consensus of everyone there, people stared at this stranger, one by one they recognized him and looked away with disgust. Adam left his bag in the dining room and headed to the kitchen, his mother Carol was sitting at a table, crying, his father Kieran and another woman stood by her.
Adam cleared his throat after looking in on this intimate moment, all three adults turned and looked at him. Carol recognized him straight away, got up, ran over to him and hugged him tightly.
"Oh Adam." Carol said nothing else, she just held onto her son. It took Kieran to get her off him, he looked at his son, taking in how much he had changed; his short hair was shorter with the front styled, his skin was darker, tanned from his years in the sun and his once bare face now had a smooth goatee on it. Kieran chuckled a little.
"You look like an executive son. If it wasn't for that scar I wouldn't recognize you."
Adam smiled. "Got to look good for my work dad."
The two men shook hands, Carol wiped a tear from her eye.
"So tell us then, where do you work, where do you live, who are you living with...?"
"And why did you leave?"
The second woman finally spoke up, Adam looked at her and immediately knew who it was.
Alexandra.
She too had changed quite a bit. Her hair was longer, not as long as when she came to visit him but it was shoulder length now and dyed a much darker brown than he remembered, her green eyes had a tired look but held genuine happiness behind them. None of which Adam noticed.
He was looking at her enlarged midsection, her hand unconsciously stroking her bump.
Alexandra saw Adam looking at her bump, she smiled. "Five months along. In case you're wondering."
"Who's the father?" He knew there was no chance in hell it was him but a little niggle in his head gave him hope. Or was it fear?
"His name's Ellis, he's in Wales, couldn't make it up."
"Oh." Adam tried to hide his disappointment but failed.
Kieran sensed this. "Alex, take Carol through to the Living Room, I want to talk to Adam alone."
"Sure thing Uncle Kieran." Alexandra helped Carol to her feet, both women supporting each other.
Kieran took two beers out the fridge, gave one to Adam and sat down. "So, start talking."
Adam opened his beer and sat down opposite his father. "About what?"
"Where are you working, where are you living, why didn't you come back? Why did you leave in the first place?"
"I'm working at a restaurant, been there for nearly the whole five years, managed to get into an assistant manager position."
"In five years? Impressive."
"Well the owner owed me a favour so he bumped me up a few steps. I'm living in California, some town near L.A., it's a place near the beach, very sunny, very quiet. As for why I never came back well it's for the same reason I left."
"Alex."
"Yeah. Fuck I forgot you knew about that."
"Well you were pretty vocal about it. Look son, I'm not going to question what you did with your cousin, I've learnt to get past it since you've been gone, but don't bring it up to your mum, she's repressed it and doesn't believe a word of it. And while we're talking, don't talk to Alexandra either unless she brings it up, she had a lot of trouble, a lot of people judged her and she and Jane never talked for over a year."
"I never knew."
"How could you, it was kept quiet, no-one wanted the news about you and Alex to spread."
Adam put his beer on the table, he tried to look his father in the eye but he couldn't. "Dad, for what it's worth, I'm sorry."
"I know you are son. I know. I'm not angry, I'm just disappointed that you threw away your life because of an argument. Come on then, I think people are heading out to the funeral now."
**
The funeral was a respectable affair, there was a good turn-out and everyone paid their respects without hassle. Carol cried at the loss of her sister, Damien shed a few tears over the loss of his wife and Alexandra came close to crying but she had people around her to make sure she was ok, Adam stayed back so people wouldn't judge but he wanted so bad to be there for her.
Back at the house Adam made a genuine effort to get along with people, they knew him as the cousin-fucking runaway but he was going to prove them wrong and joined in on the conversations, he even joked about his desertion, telling everyone...
"I was going to be a lawyer, until I fell in love. Turns out you can't have a heart in the justice system."
It was a terrible joke but it garnered a few laughs. Despite this Adam knew people were judging him. At around 9 at night Alexandra finally came up to talk to Adam, the two of them went outside to the garden where it was quieter.
Neither of them knew how to start the conversation, so Alexandra took the first move and hugged her cousin.
"God it's been too long Adam."
"It has Lexi. I've missed you."
"I've missed you too." Alexandra let him go. "So your dad tells me you're working in a restaurant, not doing any law work in California?"
"Ah well it was just suppose to be a part-time job that became a career. I just stuck with it."
"You? Adam McAllister? Sticking with something? Never."
Adam had to smile at that. "I fuck up once and people are still going on about it."
"It's not how many times you fuck up it how bad you fuck up. Adam you threw your life away, your education, your job, your family. No matter how many years pass, that is how people will remember you."
Adam was getting a little angry. "Let me guess, now you want to know why I left."
"No I know why you left."
"No you don't. Everyone assumes it had something to do with you."
"But it did."
No Lexi, it had more to do with you than anyone realises." Adam crashed onto a bench outside, his heavy head in his hands "When I saw you with that bleach blonde asshole it killed me Lexi. I loved you with everything I had and I honestly thought you were the one. I also thought you felt the same way."
Alexandra sat down next to her cousin. "Why didn't you come back?"
"Same reason. I was in love with you. I've never stopped being in love with you. I love you so much I hate you, you understand?"
"Well I did tell you not to fall in love with me, I did tell you I was going to hurt you."
Adam chuckled a little, although his laugh was more sad than happy. Alexandra put her arm around him shoulder, he welcomed her warm touch. "I guess you did Lexi."
"For what it's worth Adam I am sorry. I know I should've said this earlier but giving the circumstances it was difficult. I'm sorry for hurting you."
"It's ok Lexi, I know that I should've realised we had no future. For fuck sake we're cousins. Anyway it's past now, you have Ellis, and the baby, I'll find someone someday and pretty soon we'll only see each other at birthdays and Christmas's and births. And more deaths."
Alexandra wiped away a tear, something that didn't go unnoticed by Adam. "Sorry, you just buried your mother today. I shouldn't mention death."
"It's not that Adam. I just don't want us to drift apart again."
Alexandra quickly leaned in and kissed Adam. It was soft and it was quick but it was a kiss all the same. As quick as it began it was over and Alexandra was walking away, almost running actually towards the house. Adam stayed seated, trying to make sense of what happened, he lit a cigarette and stayed outside, slowly nursing it down as everyone else went about their business. When it was finished he dropped the filter to the ground and left for his hotel.
He didn't even say goodbye.
**
The next morning Adam went to see an old friend, someone he'd talked to but hadn't seen in years. He knocked on his friend's door and was greeted with a welcome only he could give.
"Adam you runaway motherfucker. How are you?"
"I'm good Liam. How have you been?"
"Ugh, it's been a fuckin madhouse, you mind if we sit out in the garden, the kids are at school but they'll be home in a few hours."
Adam followed Liam into his house, shutting the door behind him. "Kids? I forgot it's plural now isn't it."
"Yep, Tyler James Nelson, though we just call him T.J. He'll be just past four next month. You want a beer?"
"Sure. So you and Maggie are married now?"
"No, not yet but to be honest it doesn't look like we will. We're having some difficulties right now and they may take some time to heal, if they ever will."
Liam opened two beer bottles, handed one to Adam and led him out to the garden. "What problems?"
"Nothing Adam, I've just done some shit I'm not proud of and try as hard as I can to keep it quiet Maggie just smells it on me."
The two friends sat out in the garden, the sun shone brightly on the grass but they were lucky to have a seat in the shade.
"Who did you fuck?"
Liam was surprised by his friend's openness. "Jesus Adam, California really made you braver didn't it. I didn't fuck anyone alright. Let's just drop this alright, talk about you."
Despite their years apart Adam knew Liam well enough to know there was something he wasn't saying. But he let it go for now.
"So when you heading back?"
"A couple days, I got some holidays that needed using so I just decided to take a break."
"Where you working?"
"Some restaurant chain, you won't have heard of it, I'd never even heard of it until I started working there."
"Should I get to the big pink elephant in the room? Tell you why I left?"
"Oh I know why you left. What I want to know is why you never came back?"
"Same reason. Lexi. I actually saw her yesterday at the funeral."
"Oh shit, sorry I never went."
"It's fine Liam, I appreciate all you did for me with Lexi but I know you have your own family. Speaking of which, you know that Lexi's pregnant."
"Fuck off."
"No it's true, five months along."
"Jesus. It's not yours is it?"
"Yeah, she was pregnant for five years and is only now showing. No it's some guy called Ellis, I never got his last name."
"Sounds like a prick."
Adam laughed, he stayed a few more hours, just talking with Liam until Maggie came home, she offered him to stay for lunch but he declined and went back to the hotel.
When he arrived at the hotel Adam got a message from reception. Alexandra had called looking for him and wanted him to call her when he got in. As soon as the door was locked he did just that.
"Lexi?"
"Adam, I called you earlier but you weren't in."
"I was at Liam's house. How did you get this number I was supposed to be staying at home?"
"I also called Liam, you shouldn't give him any secrets."
Adam smiled. "So what can I help you with?"
Alexandra took a deep breath. I hope you understand Adam that this is going to be difficult for me and you're the only person I know that can help me. I want to see Craig."
"Lexi I don't know if that's a good idea."
"I know that I shouldn't but as much as it pains me he's was the only father I had until Damien, I never even met my real dad. I just want to see him, I just want to tell him about mum, and about the baby."
"Lexi remember that Craig was attacked in prison. I know it's been seven years but that pipe to the head did permanent damage, he may not even remember you."
"I know, I just want to see him, more for myself than for him."
"Alright, I'll come by the house later we can drive up to the home."
"Thank you."
Adam hung up the phone, this was going to be difficult so he lit a cigarette before leaving, smoked it by an open window then left. The whole time he was thinking about Alexandra, he couldn't decide if she was brave or stupid or both for going to see the man who had molested her. All he knew was that he admired her.
**
Adam took a taxi to his house then he and Alexandra drove up to the home where Craig was living, it was a bit of a drive and with Alexandra pregnant Adam had to drive the whole way but he didn't care, he was just glad to be with her. He kept looking over at her during the drive, she was wearing a bright yellow summer dress with a hem that swept along her thighs, because of her extended belly the hem was lifted slightly allowing Adam to see more of his cousin's smooth legs. Her breasts had increased as well and were pushing the boundaries of the dress giving Adam a good look at her golden cleavage. He felt that same lust for her that he had felt so many years before.
When they got to the home Adam held Alexandra's hand the whole time, she didn't say anything against him, in fact she actually gripped his hand tightly when they walked through the front doors and kept holding when they stopped at the receptionist.
"Hello, we're here to see Craig Buchannan."
"Just sign your name's in here then head down the corridor to the right. He's in room 113."
Adam could hear Alexandra's breathing get quicker and sporadic, she was terrified but she needed to do this. Adam stayed by her side the whole time, even pushed her a little when she stopped in her tracks. When they reached the door to Room 113 Alexandra froze, she only looked at the door handle, she looked like she was about to vomit.
"You want me to open it?"
"NO! No Adam, I'll, I'll do it. Just, gimme a second."
Alexandra inhaled deeply and held her breath as her shaky hand reached out and opened the door.
Inside was a small room, brightly decorated but with a stench of death about it; there was a man in a wheelchair in the middle of the room. It was suppose to be Craig but from what Adam could see, it wasn't Craig, it was just an empty shell of the man he was years ago, he was thin and pale and weak, his bones could be seen through his arms. He was drooling out the corner of his mouth as he stared vacantly out the window, not even out the window he was just staring into nothing, he looked like half his brain was missing and the other half had been fried.
Adam wasn't expecting this shell of Craig and obviously neither was Alexandra, somehow though the sight of Craig, weak and pathetic, boosted her confidence as she walked into the room and across to the bed, she sat on the edge near Craig and looked at him.
"Hey Craig." She spoke softly.
Craig took a few seconds to register the fact that Alexandra was there, when he did he looked at her inquisitively, like a baby meeting a stranger for the first time.
"Do, do I know you lady?"
"You do Craig, I was your daughter for 15 years, my name is Alexandra."
Craig shook his head. "No, I, I never had any children."
"I know, but for 15 years you raised me. Do you remember?"
"No, no."
"Do you remember Jane, your wife Jane?"
Craig shut his eyes tightly as he tried to remember.
"Craig, Jane died. We buried her yesterday, I thought you'd want to know."
Craig opened his eyes and shook his head even more. "No, no Jane, no Jane."
Alexandra was getting visibly angry. "You really don't remember anything do you?"
Craig continued shaking his head, he looked at the floor, he seemed like he was going to burst into tears.
"You don't remember the shit you put her through, all the insults, all the beatings? You don't remember what you did to me?"
Craig looked up, his eyes met with Alexandra's. For the first time in their lives she held power over him. Craig stared at her eyes, trying desperately to remember where this strange girl knew him from and what did he do to her.
"How dare you forget, what gives you the right to forget all the shit you put me through? I have to live with that, I can't forget."
"I'm sorry, I don't know who you are."
"You fuckin do, you ruined my childhood, you used and abused me for your own sick, perverse needs. You fuck me up you sick cunt."
Craig was crying now, out of fear, out of desperation, out of sheer terror. "I don't remember you, whatever you think I did I'm sorry."
Alexandra slapped Craig. "Fuck you. You know what you did to me, I remember everything, I wake up at night screaming because of you. I fuckin hate you."
She slapped him again, and again. By the third slap Adam decided to intervene. He stepped forward and took hold of Alexandra's hands, stopping her from hitting him again.
"Let, ugh, let go of me."
"Come on Lexi, leave him."
"NO. No I want this cunt to remember me."
"Lexi, he doesn't, he's terrified of you. Lexi he's pissed himself."
Alexandra looked down. Craig had pissed himself, she looked back up at the frail man before her. He was crying now, heavy tears running down his face, wet snot littered his nose and lips. His weak hands covered his face to avoid getting slapped again. Looking at him Alexandra suddenly realised what she was doing, it brought her to tears.
Saying nothing, Adam just guided her out the room, she was weak in the knees, disgusted at herself for what she had done. Adam told a nurse to check on Craig but pushed Alexandra forward so they could leave before questions were asked.
Once she was in the car the flood began, Alexandra just laid her head against the dashboard and cried. Adam let her, he just drove her back to his hotel, she was in no shape to go home. By the time they arrived at the hotel she had calmed down but she still upset, her whimpers pained Adam's heart but he stayed strong as he took her inside and up to his room. She sat on the edge of the sofa while he fixed her a Hot Chocolate.
"Thank you." She said quietly after he gave her the cup.
"No problem. You ok?" He sat down beside her.
"Yeah, I just. God what was I thinking? You told me he couldn't remember anything and yet I still went off at him. I hate him so much Adam."
"Shh Lexi. I don't blame you for hating him, but let him go. He's worse now than ever, he won't be around much longer. He can't hurt you anymore, I won't let him"
Alexandra looked up and Adam. "You really wouldn't, would you?"
Before Adam could answer Alexandra leaned over and kissed him again. It much harder kiss than before, the lust in him spilled out and he had to have her. He picked her off the sofa and carried her to the bed across the room, there he laid her on top of the covers, her legs dangling off the edge. Adam knelt in front of her, his head burying itself under her dress, his fingers curling into her cotton white panties and pulling them down to reveal her bald cunny. He loved the sight in front of him, his tongue had a mind of its own as it reached out and tasted her. The familiar taste filled his mouth, it was like it had never left him.
Alexandra looked down at her cousin, she could only see the bottom of her dress moving along with his assault on her pussy with his tongue, but god that feeling of someone making her feel that way, the fact that Adam was hidden added an anonymous factor that just increased her pleasure. When Adam reached up and sucked her clit she exploded, covering her face with a pillow so her screams of pleasure wouldn't cause any trouble.
Adam stood up and looked at his cousin, she had a pregnancy glow that was enhanced by the post-orgasmic bliss on her face. If Adam wasn't in love with her before he was now.
"God you're beautiful." His voice was quiet and soft but she heard him, it warmed her heart that even with her being pregnant he found her beautiful. Still on a cloud from the cum he gave her, Alexandra stood up and kissed Adam, as she did his hands went around her and unzipped her dress, letting it fall to the ground. Alexandra stepped out of it and took off the only thing she has left, her bra.
She was now naked in front of Adam, his eyes devoured the sight of her, his hand carefully stroked the swell of her pregnant belly. Alexandra could see the look in his eyes, the look of want, of hope, of wish.
He wished the baby was his.
Alexandra pushed him back slightly, allowing her to turn around and bend over, keeping herself propped up on her arms. Adam smiled at the sight of his cousin offering herself to him, the gorgeous round ass was even more beautiful than last time. In no time Adam had unbuckled his trousers and pulled them, along with his boxers, off, his very hard cock bobbed as it was released. Adam placed the head of his cock gently inside her pussy and pushed forward, that hot, velvet feeling surrounded him and he was reminded of their first time together.
Alexandra almost came immediately, she hadn't had sex in months, a couple of times since she got pregnant but with her hormones going crazy she went from out of control horny to manically depressed six times a day and it was difficult for Ellis to keep up. But now the feeling of Adam's thicker, harder and more loving cock filled a vacancy that hadn't been filled in too long.
"Oh God Adam yes. Fuck, go, fuck me."
Adam said nothing, he simply fucked her harder and faster.
"Slap my ass Adam, do it."
Her wish was his command, Adam raised his open palm up and sent it flying down on Alexandra's bare arse, it left a bright pink mark on her but from the smile on her face she loved it.
"Fuck. Again Adam, you have no idea how much I missed that."
Adam slapped her again, however this time he left his hand on her ass, gently rubbing the mark and cupping her ass cheek. Adam's new found boldness took over him and he softly placed his thumb on Alexandra's asshole and pushed it in.
Alexandra yelped in surprise but she didn't protest, the soft purring she gave told him she enjoyed it.
"Fuck Adam, it's been a long time since I've had anything there."
"You want to change that?" His voice was soft, soothing, persuasive.
"Mmm. Not today, just keep, just keep fucking my cunt."
"As you wish."
Alexandra was surprised when Adam increased the speed of his thrusting but God was she not complaining, the sound of flesh on flesh filled the room, their sweaty bodied became idols to their lust, the musky stench of sex overwhelmed them. They were in their own world, just the two of them together.
Adam leaned forward and cupped both her stupendous breasts with his hand, kneading them, feeling their softness. He whispered in her ear.
"I love you Lexi."
It was then she came. She let out a high pitch whimpered followed by low guttural moans as she tried to find her breath again, Adam's cock was covered in a warm liquid, her juices mixed with his pre-cum , it shone in the lamp light. Alexandra turned round.
"You didn't come?"
"No. But I don't care, so long as you did." And with that Adam crawled into bed beside Alexandra and fell asleep with her.
**
Adam woke sometime in the evening, he had slept all through the afternoon. He heard Alexandra behind him, crying.
"What's wrong?"
"I just got a call from Ellis."
"And..."
"Adam he's my boyfriend, and I just cheated on him with you. I've got to stop doing this, I can't keep sleeping with you it's wrong."
Adam sat up and put his arm around Alexandra's shoulder. "Alex we haven't done anything we didn't want to do."
"That's not the point Adam. God why must you be so fuckin blind to this, to us."
"Because I love you Lexi."
Alexandra shot off the bed, she paced the room in desperation. "Stop saying that Adam. You can't love me it's wrong."
"I don't care Lexi, I can't let you out of my life I need you."
"That's you're fucking problem Adam, you don't care. You think that you and I belong together and that it's all hunky fuckin dory. What about me, what about what I want, what about what I feel about you?"
Adam slowly stood up, confused by what Alexandra was saying. "What do you mean 'how you feel about me'?"
"Christ you are blind aren't you. Adam I was in love with you, for the longest time I wanted you the same way you wanted me. Did you not realise that when I crawled into your bed when you were at my house. That's not something a cousin or a friend does to end an argument. I loved you Adam and I couldn't stand the idea of you hating me."
Adam's head was racing "Wait. Lexi if you loved me then what the hell was Jesse? What the hell was what you told me, we never had a chance at being together?"
"I envy you Adam. You have love and hope all I have is love and guilt. We're cousins, it's wrong for us to be together. But of course you never saw that, I did, I knew we were never going to be but still I loved you and it killed me, every time I thought we had a chance it crushed under the guilt."
"So what you started fucking other men to push me away."
"Fuck you. Do you have any fucking idea how hard that was for me? How was I supposed to know you would run away, I thought you were stronger than that Adam?"
"You hurt me Lexi, more than you can imagine."
"Hurt? When you left I had to deal with everyone, all the talk behind my back, all the judgemental looks. My own mother didn't talk to me for over a year because of what you did. And all the while you lived it up in California. Don't you talk to me about hurt."
Adam didn't say anything. He'd heard Alexandra had a hard time but to actually hear it from her mouth made it all the more real. "I'm sorry Lexi, I never knew."
Alexandra stayed where she was, tears began to fall down her face but it wasn't until she felt Adam's shoulder on her forehead that she burst. She let out tears that should've been cried years ago, five years of anguish and pain that she had kept bottled up were released onto her cousin. When she was finished she felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders, she actually found herself smiling.
"We'll have a talk later Lexi, I'll go for a shower then we'll head back to the house. We can decide where we go from here later."
"I'd like that. Thank you Adam."
"Anything for you." He kissed her head and went into the bathroom.
Alexandra lay across the bed, she felt happy, happier than she'd felt in years. It was like she'd been miserable her whole life and only now was understanding joy. She thought about it quickly and maybe there was nothing wrong with being with Adam. Sure people wouldn't like it and with her carrying another man's baby there would be difficulties but at long as they were with each other.
Just then she heard a ringing, Adam's own mobile was going off. Strange, Adam never mention owning a mobile. Alexandra answered it, not wanting Adam to miss anything important.
"Hello?"
"Oh." A woman's voice was on the other end. "I'm sorry, I'm looking for Adam McAllister."
"Yes this is Alexandra, his cousin."
"Oh yes Alex, Adam's told me about you, let me guess he hasn't brought me up yet."
"Uh no sorry."
"Typical. My name's Kaitlin, I'm Adam's girlfriend."
Girlfriend? Alexandra struggled to keep the sudden anger in her under control. "Really, Adam never mentioned you."
"Well he's like that, as I'm sure you know. Hey can you tell Adam to call me back, the painters are coming in a few days and I want to know when he'll be back."
"I'll tell him."
"Thanks."
Kaitlin hung up, Alexandra dropped the phone to the bed, the rage in her burning a hole in her stomach. She picked up a glass vase, burst into the bathroom and threw it at Adam, it barely missed him and smashed on the wall behind him.
"Lexi what the fuck?"
"You got a call from Kaitlin."
Adam's face visibly dropped. "Lexi wait..."
"I feel guilty about cheating on my boyfriend but you don't bat an eyelid at cheating on your girlfriend. You hypocritical fuck, you ran away because you thought I was cheating on you."
Adam hopped out the shower, avoiding broken glass on his bare feet, and started getting dressed. "Look Lexi this is different."
"How? In what fuckin way is this different?"
"I told you, neither of us did anything we didn't want to. I wanted to do this."
"That doesn't excuse the fact that you cheated."
"Lexi this isn't my fault, I can't control myself with you. I love you too much."
"Fuck off Adam. That is not going to work now."
Adam followed her out the bathroom. "Can you just drop it I made a mistake, we both did it so we're even now."
"Even? No Adam, when you thought I cheated on you, you were the only one that thought we were in a relationship, you never even discussed with me if we were in one. Now, you knew we were both in one, you had all day to tell me about her but you kept quiet, you went out of your way to say nothing so you're the cheating scumbag."
"Lexi look I know you're angry but you're the one that came onto me. We're both as guilty as each other."
"I was still fucked over from Craig, I needed you for comfort and you took advantage of that. You could've stopped us but you did nothing."
"Advantage? Just who do you think I am Lexi? I didn't take advantage of you and I'm disgusted that you would think that."
"Oh get off your fuckin high horse Adam, you're not getting out of this clean."
"I'm not trying to get out of this clean."
"Then why are you trying to justify this. Why didn't you say anything about her?"
"Because I want to be with you alright."
Adam fell to the bed, his head in his hands. Neither of them were shouting anymore, Adam spoke in a quiet voice.
"I wanted to start something with you, a relationship, just the two of us. That's all I thought about the whole journey here. Even when I found out about Ellis and the baby I kept Kaitlin silent because I prayed that you and I would still have that chance."
It felt like hours had gone by before Alexandra spoke up. "Do you have any idea how disgusting that sounds? Jesus Adam what were you going to tell her, what made you think that would work? I thought you were better than that, I thought you were better than me. But no, you're just as bad."
Adam said nothing as Alexandra walked out the door, yet again any chance they had of being together was ruined. Only this time he has destroyed it, now he knew how she felt all those years ago.
For the second time in his life Adam packed up and ran away from home without saying goodbye. By the time anyone noticed he was gone his plane had already taken off for California.
**
Adam returned to California trying to settle back into his life with Kaitlin, he loved her, he was sure of that but what Alexandra said stayed with him.
'You're just as bad as I am.'
Was he really, Alexandra was a cheater and she obviously knew it, it was also obvious that Adam was a cheater. But he was different to her, she toyed with him, she lied to him.
Just like he toyed with Kaitlin. Just like he lied to her. Christ he needed to leave her, she deserved better than a bastard like him.
It was a week after his return at dinner time when he finally decided to tell Kaitlin the truth, she was telling him about some friends at work but he was barely listening. He looked at her, she was a much different beauty to Alexandra, where Alex was a full on beauty that could fill a man with lust Kaitlin was more cute, she was 24, two years younger than Adam, but could easily pass for 18. Her hair was a vivid blonde and her eyes had a bright blue that made you feel content and at peace, she was the kind of girl you fell in love with and that's exactly what he did.
He felt like shit for doing this, but he needed to. Adam took a deep breath.
"I fucked another woman." He said it quickly, interrupting her. Kaitlin looked at him surprised, she heard him but she couldn't have heard that right.
"What did you say?"
Damn he didn't want to repeat himself. "I said I fucked another woman. When I was back home last week I slept with someone else."
"What? Who?"
"It doesn't matter."
"It does fuckin matter Adam, who was she?"
"She wasn't some skank if that's what you want to know. It was someone I was close to once, someone important to me. We got to talking and it just happened."
Kaitlin started crying. "Why are you telling me this?"
"Because even though I fucked up I still like you, you deserve better than me so I'm ending this."
"How, how could you just throw this away like that if you still like me? Answer me you fucking cocksucker."
"It was a moment of weakness alright, this girl meant a lot to me and I still have feelings for her. If you want me to leave I'll understand."
"Fuck you. Fuck you Adam, I can't stay here, I can't look at you anymore."
Still crying Kaitlin ran out the house and into her car, she drove away, probably to her friend's or her mother's. Either way Adam didn't follow her, it was over, two years with this wonderful girl over because he was useless and weak.
It was time to run again.
Adam packed the everything important to him into boxes and loaded them into his car. Luckily he had an off roader so the boot was massive and he could fit all his belongings in the back. The last thing he did before leaving was he left a note for Kaitlin when she got back, he never expected to see her again and wouldn't blame her if she didn't want to see him.
Looking at a map Adam set his sights on Vegas. He had enough money to stay at a hotel, who knows maybe he could gamble his pain away.
He started the car and drove away. As he did, the rain started to fall.
**
1997
**
Alexandra woke up from her headache, she got headaches most mornings nowadays. As she did every morning she looked around the room, trying to remember where she was, what happened the night before and exactly when her life turned to shit.
She'd been this way for the past seven, eight months. Ever since her mum's funeral and Adam's girlfriend, she hadn't seen him since then and didn't want to ever again. Her guilt brought her to tell Ellis about sleeping with Adam, he got understandably furious, they argued for hours and it only ended when a very stressed Alexandra felt a pain in her stomach.
As she had done so many times before, Alexandra rubbed her stomach, remembering the baby that she never got to have.
Once the baby was out of the picture Ellis had no reason to stay, he left Alexandra but as a final insult he told everyone they knew, friends, acquaintances even family, about Alexandra having sex with her cousin again. No-one had any sympathy for her anymore, a few people even said she deserved to lose the baby. What's worse is that Alexandra couldn't even turn to her step-father for help, he blamed her for her own actions and told her that made the choice to commit incest.
Disowned, hated and lost, Alexandra took her cousin's advice and ran away, taking the train from Wales back up home to Scotland, hoping to turn to Adam's parents for help. But even they weren't any help, they let her stay the night to rest after her long journey but by morning she was kicked out.
It was in this state, broken, lost, in a strange place, that led Alexandra into the bar, using the last of her money to buy a strong drink. She nursed it down, not an easy task for such a small drink, but when it was done she lay her head on the bar, she was too tired to cry.
"Can I buy you another Alex?"
Alexandra looked up, she saw the somewhat familiar face of Liam Nelson, The Admiral.
"Liam? How'd you'd you recognize me."
"The bags helped but I could never forget that pretty face."
They two of them hugged quickly. "How are you?" She asked.
"Not too good, me and Maggie are on the verge of splitting, so close to the edge we fell off two months ago."
"I'm sorry to hear."
"It's fine, it was my own fault. It's the kids I care about. What about you?"
"Same and worse."
"Come on over to my table, I'll buy you a drink and you can tell me all about it."
For the next hour Alexandra spilled out everything that had happened to her in the past few months, with the baby and Adam and Ellis and what he told everyone. By the end of it she was so emotionally drained she felt she could've slept for days in that pub. Surprisingly Liam sat there through it all and listened to her whining, he was only the second person ever to listen to her problems and not judge her.
"So what happened to you?" She felt the need to learn more about Liam.
"Me and Maggie had some differences, mainly in that she didn't want me to fuck other woman and I did."
Alexandra laughed, she couldn't remember laughing in a long time. "Sounds like we both made the same mistake."
"You've made it twice with two different people."
"I wasn't in a relationship with Adam, he just thought we were."
"You should've had told him you weren't."
"Can we not talk about Adam, that bastard's ruined his own life more than once and he's taken me down with him each time."
"Tough times huh?"
"More than you know. You're the first person to actually talk to me in months"
Liam smiled slightly as he took another sip of his drink. "You wanna get out of here, I've got a place where I lay my head if you want to come up."
"Sure, do mind if I stay over, I need a place to stay for a while."
"No problem, happy to have you."
Liam left down a tenner and helped Alexandra with her bags, it wasn't a long trip but Liam felt the need to help her, she'd been through a lot.
Liam's place was nothing special, it was a rented apartment in a rundown area. The actual apartment room was just that, a room, a dank, dingy, disgusting room with a mattress on the floor in the middle of the room and some essential equipment littered around the room.
Liam went in and sat down on the mattress. "Just put your stuff anywhere."
Alexandra didn't bother hiding her surprise, and to a great extent disgust, at Liam's living conditions. "This is a shithole Liam."
"I know but it was all I could get and I've just sort of got use to it."
"How could you get use to this?" She asked as she watch the ceiling leak.
"Drugs help."
Alexandra did a double-take, did Liam really just say that. She watched as he took a kit out from under his mattress, belt, needle, spoon, lighter, heroin. He wasn't joking.
Liam could see her shock. "It helps me Alex, I need to forget a lot of shit. I need to forget about Maggie, about Katie about Tyler. About everything and this helps me."
"Does..? Does it really make you forget?"
"Mostly yeah."
Alexandra sat down in front of him. "Give me a hit."
"What? Alex no I still have some morality."
"Fuck that Liam, I have a lot I need to forget, give me a hit."
She was determined and he was in no place to criticizes her, somewhat reluctantly Liam readied two needles. Alexandra watched in rapt fascination as Liam cooked two separate spoons of solid heroin into liquid form, while the liquid was bubbling Liam wrapped his belt around his arm, instructing Alexandra to do the same with her belt.
"Tap your elbow, get the blood pumping, get a vein up."
Alexandra tapped the crook of her elbow, her arm felt weird but it did het her veins up. Liam handed her the syringe.
"Put the needle in your vein, slowly."
Alexandra held her breath to stop her hand from shaking, she placed the needle on her arm and pushed forward.
"Stop."
Alexandra froze immediately from Liam's outburst. He took the needle from her.
"That's a bad angle, you'll only hurt herself. Here let me do it."
Liam placed the needle on Alexandra's arm, she could see what he meant by the angle. That tingling in her arm increased as the needle went into her vein, she had a sharp intake of breath when Liam extracted some of her blood to mix with the heroin.
Then he pressed the plunger.
The feeling of warmth surged through her body, the years, decades, of pain and hurt that she'd suffered disappeared in an instant, right then she was in a different place, a better place. She felt nothing.
She didn't even feel herself throw up.
"That's ok Alex, everyone throws up the first time. Everyone does it." Liam pushed his own needle into his vein, he felt the same warmth as her, despite being on heroin for nearly the past year, taking that hit with Alexandra would remain one of the best.
Alexandra wiped the vomit from her mouth, she crawled over to Liam, feeling the warmth emanating from him, she could hear his soul. When she kissed him they both felt their spirits dance together, they became warmer, they became calmer, the past disappeared further into the backs of their minds.
Liam scooted himself onto the mattress, Alexandra took her top off, followed by her trousers, wearing only her underwear she crawled onto Liam who had also stripped to his boxers. His body was pale but so far still in a good shape, a lot thinner than before the drugs but he hadn't wasted away yet. Alexandra stroked his roasting chest, touching his heartbeat, feeling it wash over her body.
Liam undid her bra, pulling it off her body. He smiled at the sight of her breasts.
"They're beautiful. You're beautiful."
Alexandra kissed him again, they're bodies were melting together, somehow they managed to get their pants off, rubbing against each other's naked flesh, intertwining together. When Liam rolled on top of Alexandra and pushed his dick into her sopping cunt she felt a feeling she'd never felt before, she felt a connection with Liam that she'd never had with anyone else, was it him, the heroin of both she couldn't tell and didn't care, the pleasure in her mind was explosive.
They stayed together for hours, slowly fuckin and rubbing against each other. Their drugged up bodies were in such a numb state they went for ages without cumming, they didn't even noticed when either of them did cum, the only evidence of their orgasms being the juices on their groins.
Sometime later, who knows how long, the two of them lay on the mattress, both naked, both still high from the heroin and both spilling out their souls.
"I knew I was losing her a long time ago. She could smell the affairs on me, every time I came home I could see her nose crinkle at their stench."
Alexandra handed him their shared cigarette. "Why did you do it?"
"I don't know. I really fuckin don't I mean I loved Maggie, I still do and God knows I'll never forget my kids. Maybe I'm just that fuckin stupid, maybe I'm weak."
"Adam said he was weak, that's why he cheated on Kaitlin, why I cheated on Ellis. It's bullshit, if you're that weak why did you start a relationship in the first place. Never start something you're never going to finish, you don't know what's it's like when something's finished for you and it's not your fault."
Liam looked over at Alexandra, she wiped a tears from her eye, with her free hand she gently stroked her empty womb.
"You Ok Alex?"
"Yeah, it's nothing. God look at me, crying over something I never even met."
Liam rolled over and kissed Alexandra, She whimpered softly at the touch of his lips, their connected souls crying out with want and need.
"Fix me up another hit Liam."
Month 1
This became their lives, drugs and fucking. They barely left the apartment except for heroin and occasionally food. The once disgusting apartment became a home to Alexandra, she didn't even notice the dried vomit stain on the floor, hers from the first day.
Neither of them wore clothes anymore, no need to when it's just the two of them, made it easier to fuck that way. One time Alexandra was leaning over the kitchen counter to get some food and was surprised to feel Liam come up behind her and start fucking her from behind. To anyone else being pushed up against the cold, hard counter would be agony but Alexandra was on a permanent high form the drugs so she felt nothing but pleasure.
Those were the happy times, she and Liam would talk for hours, days even, just connecting with each other. Neither of them could keep track of time, they could be fucking on Monday, falling asleep on Saturday and waking up on Wednesday with no knowledge of what happened to them in all that time. If it wasn't for the neighbours' paper, which they stole, they would never know the day, everything just melded into one another, days were interchangeable, as were weeks and hours and months and seconds.
But none of it mattered to them, they had each other, they had the world's best painkiller and they had their sexual health.
Month 2
The life of a junkie is not a prosperous one, this meant that once a month Liam and Alexandra exited their hovel and ventured into the strange, bright world in order to get whatever money they could . They were a sight every time they went out, in searing heats they were wrapped up warm to prevent the shivers, in the dullest days they wore sunglasses to hide their dilated pupils, if there's one thing a junkie hates more than no drugs it's judgement.
Their first stop was toilets, mostly pubs and restaurants, on the off-chance that some-one had dropped some money, they found pound coins more often than not and on a rare occasion they caught a £5 note or even a £10 one. However these were few and far between and mostly they had to resort to stealing money from people – which was incredibly risky – or stealing scrap metal and selling it, it wasn't good money but it got them by.
Month 3
From time to time one of them would utter the magic words, normally it was Liam.
"Alright that's it Alex I'm done, I'm off the stuff."
With Alexandra being the co-dependent junkie she had become she followed whatever Liam did, so when he quit the drugs she quit as well. But they never had the guts the throw away the heroin, they could only put it in the cupboard and lock it away, usually with a bike lock and then throwing the key away.
It never worked out for them, they always ended up paranoid, shaking, screaming, arguing and at a few points they even got violent, when Alexandra was having a nightmare she accidentally punched Liam in the face, giving him a black eye.
Month 4
It wasn't long before the cupboard was broken open and they were both back on the stuff.
By now their relationship was just one long drugged-up orgy, days were meaningless, weeks lasted seconds and a minute could go on for an hour, they couldn't keep track of anything, only when they wanted a next hit and when they needed to go out to get it.
Month 5
With their drug habit costing quite a bit there were a few months were they couldn't pay their dealer on time, usually he gave them a week to pay but now they hadn't been able to pay for a long time and he was looking for payment.
Their dealer was a sadistic man called Cyril Moreno, he was around their age, maybe a few years older but his mannerisms and body language made him seem almost a decade older. His eyes would always stare lecherously at Alexandra but he never touched her.
Of course when Liam and Alexandra couldn't pay he offered an alternative, Alexandra caught on quickly and accepted what she had to do. Liam was less encouraged.
"No, no, you are not doing that."
"Liam it's fine, I'm basically a whore anyways, what's one more random guy."
"This is different Alex, you're with me. I care about you."
Alexandra felt her heart sob, Liam was in love with her, and truthfully she was beginning to fall for him. But this was something she needed to do. She kissed Liam then went to face Cyril.
He wasn't gentle, he fucked her from behind, his sweaty stomach slapping against her ass, his hands clumsily groping her breasts. She numbed herself out of the experience but was shot back in when his cock violently entered her ass, it wasn't long before he shot his cum into her ass. Alexandra tried to get dress but the one remaining dress she had left was torn and her panties were un-wearable now. She walked back to Liam's house in tatters, when she got back she felt a single tear go down her cheek. Liam simple told her;
"You are not doing that again."
And for there on out they always had the right amount of money beforehand.
Month 6
After buying their latest batch from Cyril, Liam and Alexandra took a wrong turn and ended up going past a primary school at closing time. Liam walked up to the gated fence and looked inside the playground at the children running towards their parents. Through them all he saw Maggie, she was on her knees hugging Katie, her daughter, Liam's daughter.
Full of sadness and regret Liam stumbled towards the two of them, Maggie saw him and walked quicker. Liam held out his arms towards Katie.
He began to speak; "Ma..."
"Sorry I don't have any money for you." She quickly interrupted him as she put Katie into the car.
"Maggie it's me, it's Liam."
Maggie shut the door and spoke in an angry whisper so Katie wouldn't hear. "I know who you are and you disgust me. Look at you, it was bad enough when you were just a cheater but now... You're a fuckin disgrace Liam, drugged up on God knows what and her? Is she one of you fellow junkie whores?"
"No, that's Alex, she's my friend. Maggie I want to see my daughter."
"She's not you're daughter, not anymore."
Liam could only watch as his ex got in her car and drove away with his daughter, he held back the tears but when he and Alexandra got home he took an almost dangerous amount of heroin and cried himself to sleep.
He awoke over a week later.
Month 7
And so this brought her to the present, according to yesterday's newspaper it was March. Alexandra got up and out of bed, her feet barely registering the hard, crusty vomit stain on the floor. Alexandra opened the door to steal the paper again but as she did she saw that across the hall another neighbour was trying to fit a large mirror through their door. Alexandra looked at the mirror, she couldn't believe was she saw.
No way was the reflection hers. She was stark naked and hadn't even realised it, her hair was long, messy, dirty and very straw-like, her skin was disgustingly pale with stains from food, blood, sweat and cum amongst other unknowns. Her body was horrifyingly thin, bones were seen against the skin and her once curvy body was now full of edges and sharp corners. Worst was her face, her eyes held pain and tiredness, she looked fifty five instead of twenty five.
Ignoring the paper she rushed back instead. Suddenly all the memories came back to her, for the first time she saw what she and Liam had become and what they had done. She was disgusted with herself and threw up on the floor, this new vomit pile landing right next to her first one form months ago. She needed help.
Alexandra got dressed, gathered what belongings of hers she hadn't sold yet and left a note for Liam before leaving his apartment, she saw the revolting mess for what it was again. She left the apartment quickly and ran outside.
The sun burnt her skin and blinded her, she had been a recluse for so long this was new to her, had it really been only eight months, she felt like she'd been hooked on heroin for years. Her head pounded, her throat was dry and she felt every inch of her ache, she practically ran to the hospital.
She rushed though the hospital doors and slammed herself against the reception desk.
"I need help." Was all she said.
Once the doctors were finished taking tests and filling in paperwork for her stay at rehab Alexandra was allowed to phone someone, she called Kieran and Carol but when Carol picked up the phone Alexandra couldn't get past her name before bursting into tears. Thankfully a friendly nurse took the phone and told them where she was.
Alexandra needed all the help she could get
**
Adam was surprised when he got a phone call from Liam, despite having his number in his phonebook for years they hadn't talked since Jane's funeral. Liam had come into a bit of money from winning a bet and wanted to know where Adam was so he could visit.
Adam had been living in Las Vegas for the past year. He'd only meant to stop off there but like everything is his life he settled. He got a job as a bartender at a strip club, and was currently living in one of Vegas' great hotels. He didn't have a penthouse but it was near the top. All in all he was living The Good Life: Lite Version.
When the summer of 1997 came around Liam boarded a plane and went to visit Adam. They met in the terminal, hugging each other like the old friend's they were.
"It's good to see you Adam."
"You too Liam, Christ you look like you're wasting away, what happened to you?"
"I'll explain in the car. Come on."
Adam led Liam to his car, a small red thing but it was in good condition.
"So what you been up to?" Liam asked once they left the airport.
"Been working around here, bartender at a strip club and part-time blackjack dealer at one of the casinos."
"Sounds pretty good."
"It is, work nights so I get to see the city in the dark. Fuckin beautiful. What about you Liam, tell me what you've been doing."
"Ah I've been in the dumps and lower Adam, me and Maggie broke up last year, I was cheating on her and she found out. Haven't seen my kids since and I got started on heroin to forget it all."
"Fuck Liam, no wonder you're like that. You still on that shit"
"Not really, I locked myself in my room and de-toxed myself for about a month because I came here so if I start shaking don't worry."
"You sound like you've had it rough."
"Ah once you get use to the squalor it's no problem. Actually lived with this girl for a few months, guess we had a relationship but she took off one day for rehab and I haven't seen her since."
"Sounds like you had a druggy romance."
"Yeah, I guess I did."
"What was her name?"
"Ah you don't know her."
"I wouldn't think so I've been living in America for six, seven years."
"She was no-one ok and I'd rather not talk about her."
"Ok, I'm sorry."
Liam stayed quiet for the rest of the journey. Adam could see that this strange girl obviously meant something to Liam and she hurt him.
Nevertheless when they stepped out the elevator and into Adam's apartment Liam couldn't contain how impressed he was.
"Woo, Adam you've hit the big time here."
"It's nothing much, you save up a bit and get a few small wins downstairs and even you can get this. I've only been here a few months, the first three months living here I slept at the bar I was working at."
"They let you."
"No."
The two friends laughed. "So listen Liam I've got the week off, what do you want to do?"
"Hey man you're the one that lives here, you know all the places to hit up. Where do we start?"
"Let's grab a pizza first then we'll head out, gamble a little, pick up some chicks, party."
"Normal Friday night?"
"Friday? This is my usual Monday."
The two friends headed downstairs, by now it was getting dark and the lights were coming on. Liam was impressed but couldn't believe it when Adam said they got better. They walked down the street to a small pizza restaurant, it was fairly busy but not too bad. The door opened with a bell to let the owner know someone had come in, one of the cooks looked over the counter and smiled at Adam.
"Mr McAllister, it's been too long."
The two men shook hands.
"Only a few weeks Martin. Oh Martin this is my friend Liam, Liam this is Martin, he owns the restaurant."
Liam shook Martin's hand. "Hey."
"Hello sir, what can I get you Adam, it's on the house, as always."
"Get me a two deluxe options Martin."
"Right away sir, what shall you choose for a topping?"
"Make mine a plain, extra cheese if there is any. If I know Liam he'll have a pepperoni."
"I'll get right on that. Take a seat."
Adam and Liam took a booth near the window. "On the house? What'd you do to get him so happy?"
"Martin's got Mob connections, he had some trouble with protection money so the mob were going to kidnap his daughter. And trust me, this mob is a particularly sexually vicious mob, what they do to kidnap victims is worse than dying. Anyway I'd been flirting with his daughter for a good week and was just about to score a date with her so I did something about it. I paid the protection money and he's been looking after me ever since."
"Awesome, what happened with you and the daughter?"
"Nothing much, we fucked a couple of times but we knew it wasn't anything serious. Besides last Christmas she and her friends took a vacation to New York and she met a guy there."
Martin arrived with their pizzas, surprisingly fast though Liam but this was Vegas, maybe it was different here. Liam opened his pizza box and to his surprise there was a phone number written under the cover.
"Hey Adam, what's this number on the box for?"
Adam smiled. "That's the deluxe option. Martin runs a prostitution ring from the restaurant, if you want company you ask for the deluxe option, then you pick what type of girl you want, you want blonde you get a plain cheese, you want redhead, which I remember you have a thing for, you get pepperoni and if you want brunette you get the meat feast. You can even choose to get a stacked girl by asking for extra on your pizza, like I ordered extra cheese, or you can go for the vegetarian option if you want a skinny girl. You can even have coffee if you want a black girl or rice if you're into Asians."
"That last one's pretty racist."
"I know but I didn't write the rules up. Anyway we're giving the phone numbers because they can't have the prostitutes in the restaurant, whenever we're ready we call them and pick them up. What do you think?"
"I'm a little hesitant over picking up two manky hookers."
"They're not streetwalking whores they're escorts, real girls that are the real deal. You'll love them Liam."
"America's changed you Adam, you use to be a sweet wee boy from Glasgow, now look at you; whore using mob paying badass."
"America didn't change me Liam Lexi did. She hurt me so much I almost died but I didn't and I'm grown into who I am today. Now come on, let's finish these pizzas and pick up some hookers."
Liam smiled as he bit into a frankly delicious pizza. But he couldn't decide if he liked this new version of Adam or not yet.
**
After their pizza Adam called up the escorts and told them to meet him and Liam outside Adam's hotel. As promised one was a blonde with a large rack – and wasn't afraid to show it off. The other was a redhead, a lot skinnier than her counterpart but still packing some meat. Adam immediately took the blonde in arm while Liam timidly linked his arm with Red.
"Lighten up Liam." Boomed a smiling Adam. "This is your night my friend."
Evidently Adam had made some friends during his time in Vegas, when the four of them walked into the casino several people walked up to Adam and shook his hand, even a few casino bosses. Adam smiled and said a few words before taking the group to a craps table. Liam couldn't understand the game but Adam had somehow become a master, roll after roll after roll he hit the high numbers needed to win.
All through this the drinks poured into them, Liam couldn't remember picking up a glass of the expensive champagne but it was delicious and it never ended, every time he finished the glass it was refilled by someone Liam couldn't see.
After about an hour of drinking and winning Adam threw a final hand and walked away, not caring what it landed on. He cashed his substantial winnings and the four of them went back upstairs to Adam's room.
It was a debauchery that would make Babylon blush, the two escorts were stripping off before the door was even closed and began bouncing on the sofas. Their breast jiggling and the arms flailing, Adam, quite drunk, began throwing his sack of money notes around the room yelling 'Make it rain.'
Liam only watched in stunned silence at the scene unfolding in front of him.
Soon the drinks were flowing again, this time through a lot more of it ended up on them then in them, Blondie got a champagne shower, something hat Red took as a sign to lick her clean. While Red went down on Blondie, Blonder spun round to take Adam's cock into her mouth. Adam smiled as his cock was engulfed between her soft, full lips. Adam looked over at Liam.
"Go on." He whispered. "Fuck her."
Adam motioned towards Red's bald cunt, Liam was drunk but still sober enough to think this was something he shouldn't do.
But he wasn't sober enough and soon enough he surprised Red by ploughing into her.
The fucking lasted a good few hours, the positions and number of partners changed frequently but everyone had an orgasm and more. When it looked like everyone's buzz was slowing down Adam opened a safe on the wall and pulled out his wild-card.
Cocaine.
Liam was shocked to see his friend had hard drugs, he was even more surprised he was bringing them out, especially after Liam's own drug period. Adam could sense Liam's hesitance, but he simply smiled and pushed a line towards him and lit a cigar.
"It's Vegas baby."
Adam blew a smoke ring towards Liam and snorted his own line before he mounted a coked-up Blondie and began fucking her.
The weak-willed Liam followed his friend's example and snorted a line. The electricity frying his brain enhanced all his senses, he could see for miles, smell everything, the sweat, the cum, the dried in booze.
But even then he couldn't feel red taking his hand and leading him towards the bedroom.
**
The early suns of sunshine were peaking through the window when Red woke Adam.
"What the fuck do you want?" He asked her groggily.
"It's your friend, he's freaking out in there."
Pissed at his rude awakening Adam went into the bedroom where he saw Liam sitting on the edge of the bed crying.
"Liam? What's wrong?"
"I was thinking about her."
"Who?"
"My girl."
"Maggie?"
"No, the girl I was with when I was on heroin, that girl."
"Her? Liam you told me she was nothing."
"She wasn't nothing Adam I loved her, she meant everything to me and she just left me."
"Liam, I'm not going to get into this, I'm not going to let you cry on my shoulder because of some chick I've never met."
"You have met her Adam. It was Alex."
Adam's blood chilled at the mention of his cousin's name. "What?"
"It was Alex, the girl I was with, it was Alex. I didn't mean for her to get hooked on the drugs, I just wanted a friend and then she became more to me. For seven months we got high and fucked, that was it and it was the best time of my life. I loved her Adam, more than you ever did."
Adam punched Liam square in the jaw, the force of the hit sent him flying off the bed.
"Ok, ok Adam I deserved that."
Adam punched Liam again. "I didn't deserve that."
A furious Liam pounced on Adam, the two men started wailing on each other, not caring about their own safety this was a fight to the death.
Adam got the upper hand at one point and rolled on top of Liam. "I don't believe you. Why would Lexi go to you, why leave Wales, why leave Ellis?"
"She had no choice, she miscarried Adam, she lost the baby. Everyone knew about the two of you and they judged her, she more or less got kicked out and she went back home looking for help from your parents."
Liam kneed Adam in the side and rolled over so he was on top. "Instead she found me. She needed help Adam, she needed you by her side but you fucked off to America to live it up with your whores and your drugs. This isn't you Adam, I know you and you would not fall into the mess. You miss Alex, I can tell."
Adam refused to start crying, he simply punched Liam repeatedly to the point where he needed to get off Adam to escape the pain.
"What difference does it make Liam, she hated me, she pretty much told me to leave."
"No she didn't Adam, you ran away because of your own selfish reason. You always run away."
"I had no other choice."
"No, you always had a choice Adam."
Those words echoed in Adam's mind as he thought back. Had he run away on his own accord? Did Lexi really need him?
He was so distracted by his own thoughts he never saw Liam's fist rush up to hit him right in the face.
And then the darkness fell.
this one had the most dramatic change as it tore me up inside to read it as the author is quite good at writing the best stories are the ones that touch your souls this one had me so worked up that I tore up the yard when pulling weeds now whenever I hear the song hotel california I get keyed up really bad you wouldn't want to provoke me while its playing in earshot of me but I digress you will only understand my angst by reading part 1 first this one has reversed the positions of the first one this story has another chapter but the author didn't finish with it and has promised a fourth one after his holiday is over and he can finish it thank you
**
1996
"Hello?"
"Adam, is that you?"
"Yeah."
"It's Liam?"
"Oh hey. What you calling for? It's almost midnight here."
"Sorry, forgot the time difference. It's about your Aunt Jane. Adam she's dead."
Adam played the conversation out in his head over and over as the taxi took him down a somewhat familiar street. His Aunt Jane, dead. He'd known about the cancer for two, two and a half years now but he never made the visit over to see her, he regretted that now. The last time they saw each other he had just told her he was sleeping with her daughter, his cousin.
Oh God Lexi. How would she feel about his return? From his phone conversations with Liam over the past five years she hated him, then she missed him, then she loved him, then she wanted him dead until about the time Jane got cancer and her and Liam lost touch.
The taxi pulled up outside his parent's house, in accordance with her wishes Jane was being buried in Scotland alongside her parents, the funeral was being held later that day but a few people were meeting first at the house. Adam got out the taxi and took his luggage to the front door, he waited a few minutes, taking deep breaths. It had been five years since it he saw anyone, five years since he ran away, even his parents were strangers to him.
Adam held his breath and knocked on the door.
The door was opened by Damien, he was obviously sad but he hid it. He looked over Adam taking in the sight and trying to recognize him.
"Hello Adam."
"Hello Damien."
"You're mum's in the kitchen. You can leave your bag in the back room."
"Thanks."
An awkward silence passed between them, it never broke but Damien walked away, he wasn't happy to see Adam, as he walked through the house it seemed like that was the main consensus of everyone there, people stared at this stranger, one by one they recognized him and looked away with disgust. Adam left his bag in the dining room and headed to the kitchen, his mother Carol was sitting at a table, crying, his father Kieran and another woman stood by her.
Adam cleared his throat after looking in on this intimate moment, all three adults turned and looked at him. Carol recognized him straight away, got up, ran over to him and hugged him tightly.
"Oh Adam." Carol said nothing else, she just held onto her son. It took Kieran to get her off him, he looked at his son, taking in how much he had changed; his short hair was shorter with the front styled, his skin was darker, tanned from his years in the sun and his once bare face now had a smooth goatee on it. Kieran chuckled a little.
"You look like an executive son. If it wasn't for that scar I wouldn't recognize you."
Adam smiled. "Got to look good for my work dad."
The two men shook hands, Carol wiped a tear from her eye.
"So tell us then, where do you work, where do you live, who are you living with...?"
"And why did you leave?"
The second woman finally spoke up, Adam looked at her and immediately knew who it was.
Alexandra.
She too had changed quite a bit. Her hair was longer, not as long as when she came to visit him but it was shoulder length now and dyed a much darker brown than he remembered, her green eyes had a tired look but held genuine happiness behind them. None of which Adam noticed.
He was looking at her enlarged midsection, her hand unconsciously stroking her bump.
Alexandra saw Adam looking at her bump, she smiled. "Five months along. In case you're wondering."
"Who's the father?" He knew there was no chance in hell it was him but a little niggle in his head gave him hope. Or was it fear?
"His name's Ellis, he's in Wales, couldn't make it up."
"Oh." Adam tried to hide his disappointment but failed.
Kieran sensed this. "Alex, take Carol through to the Living Room, I want to talk to Adam alone."
"Sure thing Uncle Kieran." Alexandra helped Carol to her feet, both women supporting each other.
Kieran took two beers out the fridge, gave one to Adam and sat down. "So, start talking."
Adam opened his beer and sat down opposite his father. "About what?"
"Where are you working, where are you living, why didn't you come back? Why did you leave in the first place?"
"I'm working at a restaurant, been there for nearly the whole five years, managed to get into an assistant manager position."
"In five years? Impressive."
"Well the owner owed me a favour so he bumped me up a few steps. I'm living in California, some town near L.A., it's a place near the beach, very sunny, very quiet. As for why I never came back well it's for the same reason I left."
"Alex."
"Yeah. Fuck I forgot you knew about that."
"Well you were pretty vocal about it. Look son, I'm not going to question what you did with your cousin, I've learnt to get past it since you've been gone, but don't bring it up to your mum, she's repressed it and doesn't believe a word of it. And while we're talking, don't talk to Alexandra either unless she brings it up, she had a lot of trouble, a lot of people judged her and she and Jane never talked for over a year."
"I never knew."
"How could you, it was kept quiet, no-one wanted the news about you and Alex to spread."
Adam put his beer on the table, he tried to look his father in the eye but he couldn't. "Dad, for what it's worth, I'm sorry."
"I know you are son. I know. I'm not angry, I'm just disappointed that you threw away your life because of an argument. Come on then, I think people are heading out to the funeral now."
**
The funeral was a respectable affair, there was a good turn-out and everyone paid their respects without hassle. Carol cried at the loss of her sister, Damien shed a few tears over the loss of his wife and Alexandra came close to crying but she had people around her to make sure she was ok, Adam stayed back so people wouldn't judge but he wanted so bad to be there for her.
Back at the house Adam made a genuine effort to get along with people, they knew him as the cousin-fucking runaway but he was going to prove them wrong and joined in on the conversations, he even joked about his desertion, telling everyone...
"I was going to be a lawyer, until I fell in love. Turns out you can't have a heart in the justice system."
It was a terrible joke but it garnered a few laughs. Despite this Adam knew people were judging him. At around 9 at night Alexandra finally came up to talk to Adam, the two of them went outside to the garden where it was quieter.
Neither of them knew how to start the conversation, so Alexandra took the first move and hugged her cousin.
"God it's been too long Adam."
"It has Lexi. I've missed you."
"I've missed you too." Alexandra let him go. "So your dad tells me you're working in a restaurant, not doing any law work in California?"
"Ah well it was just suppose to be a part-time job that became a career. I just stuck with it."
"You? Adam McAllister? Sticking with something? Never."
Adam had to smile at that. "I fuck up once and people are still going on about it."
"It's not how many times you fuck up it how bad you fuck up. Adam you threw your life away, your education, your job, your family. No matter how many years pass, that is how people will remember you."
Adam was getting a little angry. "Let me guess, now you want to know why I left."
"No I know why you left."
"No you don't. Everyone assumes it had something to do with you."
"But it did."
No Lexi, it had more to do with you than anyone realises." Adam crashed onto a bench outside, his heavy head in his hands "When I saw you with that bleach blonde asshole it killed me Lexi. I loved you with everything I had and I honestly thought you were the one. I also thought you felt the same way."
Alexandra sat down next to her cousin. "Why didn't you come back?"
"Same reason. I was in love with you. I've never stopped being in love with you. I love you so much I hate you, you understand?"
"Well I did tell you not to fall in love with me, I did tell you I was going to hurt you."
Adam chuckled a little, although his laugh was more sad than happy. Alexandra put her arm around him shoulder, he welcomed her warm touch. "I guess you did Lexi."
"For what it's worth Adam I am sorry. I know I should've said this earlier but giving the circumstances it was difficult. I'm sorry for hurting you."
"It's ok Lexi, I know that I should've realised we had no future. For fuck sake we're cousins. Anyway it's past now, you have Ellis, and the baby, I'll find someone someday and pretty soon we'll only see each other at birthdays and Christmas's and births. And more deaths."
Alexandra wiped away a tear, something that didn't go unnoticed by Adam. "Sorry, you just buried your mother today. I shouldn't mention death."
"It's not that Adam. I just don't want us to drift apart again."
Alexandra quickly leaned in and kissed Adam. It was soft and it was quick but it was a kiss all the same. As quick as it began it was over and Alexandra was walking away, almost running actually towards the house. Adam stayed seated, trying to make sense of what happened, he lit a cigarette and stayed outside, slowly nursing it down as everyone else went about their business. When it was finished he dropped the filter to the ground and left for his hotel.
He didn't even say goodbye.
**
The next morning Adam went to see an old friend, someone he'd talked to but hadn't seen in years. He knocked on his friend's door and was greeted with a welcome only he could give.
"Adam you runaway motherfucker. How are you?"
"I'm good Liam. How have you been?"
"Ugh, it's been a fuckin madhouse, you mind if we sit out in the garden, the kids are at school but they'll be home in a few hours."
Adam followed Liam into his house, shutting the door behind him. "Kids? I forgot it's plural now isn't it."
"Yep, Tyler James Nelson, though we just call him T.J. He'll be just past four next month. You want a beer?"
"Sure. So you and Maggie are married now?"
"No, not yet but to be honest it doesn't look like we will. We're having some difficulties right now and they may take some time to heal, if they ever will."
Liam opened two beer bottles, handed one to Adam and led him out to the garden. "What problems?"
"Nothing Adam, I've just done some shit I'm not proud of and try as hard as I can to keep it quiet Maggie just smells it on me."
The two friends sat out in the garden, the sun shone brightly on the grass but they were lucky to have a seat in the shade.
"Who did you fuck?"
Liam was surprised by his friend's openness. "Jesus Adam, California really made you braver didn't it. I didn't fuck anyone alright. Let's just drop this alright, talk about you."
Despite their years apart Adam knew Liam well enough to know there was something he wasn't saying. But he let it go for now.
"So when you heading back?"
"A couple days, I got some holidays that needed using so I just decided to take a break."
"Where you working?"
"Some restaurant chain, you won't have heard of it, I'd never even heard of it until I started working there."
"Should I get to the big pink elephant in the room? Tell you why I left?"
"Oh I know why you left. What I want to know is why you never came back?"
"Same reason. Lexi. I actually saw her yesterday at the funeral."
"Oh shit, sorry I never went."
"It's fine Liam, I appreciate all you did for me with Lexi but I know you have your own family. Speaking of which, you know that Lexi's pregnant."
"Fuck off."
"No it's true, five months along."
"Jesus. It's not yours is it?"
"Yeah, she was pregnant for five years and is only now showing. No it's some guy called Ellis, I never got his last name."
"Sounds like a prick."
Adam laughed, he stayed a few more hours, just talking with Liam until Maggie came home, she offered him to stay for lunch but he declined and went back to the hotel.
When he arrived at the hotel Adam got a message from reception. Alexandra had called looking for him and wanted him to call her when he got in. As soon as the door was locked he did just that.
"Lexi?"
"Adam, I called you earlier but you weren't in."
"I was at Liam's house. How did you get this number I was supposed to be staying at home?"
"I also called Liam, you shouldn't give him any secrets."
Adam smiled. "So what can I help you with?"
Alexandra took a deep breath. I hope you understand Adam that this is going to be difficult for me and you're the only person I know that can help me. I want to see Craig."
"Lexi I don't know if that's a good idea."
"I know that I shouldn't but as much as it pains me he's was the only father I had until Damien, I never even met my real dad. I just want to see him, I just want to tell him about mum, and about the baby."
"Lexi remember that Craig was attacked in prison. I know it's been seven years but that pipe to the head did permanent damage, he may not even remember you."
"I know, I just want to see him, more for myself than for him."
"Alright, I'll come by the house later we can drive up to the home."
"Thank you."
Adam hung up the phone, this was going to be difficult so he lit a cigarette before leaving, smoked it by an open window then left. The whole time he was thinking about Alexandra, he couldn't decide if she was brave or stupid or both for going to see the man who had molested her. All he knew was that he admired her.
**
Adam took a taxi to his house then he and Alexandra drove up to the home where Craig was living, it was a bit of a drive and with Alexandra pregnant Adam had to drive the whole way but he didn't care, he was just glad to be with her. He kept looking over at her during the drive, she was wearing a bright yellow summer dress with a hem that swept along her thighs, because of her extended belly the hem was lifted slightly allowing Adam to see more of his cousin's smooth legs. Her breasts had increased as well and were pushing the boundaries of the dress giving Adam a good look at her golden cleavage. He felt that same lust for her that he had felt so many years before.
When they got to the home Adam held Alexandra's hand the whole time, she didn't say anything against him, in fact she actually gripped his hand tightly when they walked through the front doors and kept holding when they stopped at the receptionist.
"Hello, we're here to see Craig Buchannan."
"Just sign your name's in here then head down the corridor to the right. He's in room 113."
Adam could hear Alexandra's breathing get quicker and sporadic, she was terrified but she needed to do this. Adam stayed by her side the whole time, even pushed her a little when she stopped in her tracks. When they reached the door to Room 113 Alexandra froze, she only looked at the door handle, she looked like she was about to vomit.
"You want me to open it?"
"NO! No Adam, I'll, I'll do it. Just, gimme a second."
Alexandra inhaled deeply and held her breath as her shaky hand reached out and opened the door.
Inside was a small room, brightly decorated but with a stench of death about it; there was a man in a wheelchair in the middle of the room. It was suppose to be Craig but from what Adam could see, it wasn't Craig, it was just an empty shell of the man he was years ago, he was thin and pale and weak, his bones could be seen through his arms. He was drooling out the corner of his mouth as he stared vacantly out the window, not even out the window he was just staring into nothing, he looked like half his brain was missing and the other half had been fried.
Adam wasn't expecting this shell of Craig and obviously neither was Alexandra, somehow though the sight of Craig, weak and pathetic, boosted her confidence as she walked into the room and across to the bed, she sat on the edge near Craig and looked at him.
"Hey Craig." She spoke softly.
Craig took a few seconds to register the fact that Alexandra was there, when he did he looked at her inquisitively, like a baby meeting a stranger for the first time.
"Do, do I know you lady?"
"You do Craig, I was your daughter for 15 years, my name is Alexandra."
Craig shook his head. "No, I, I never had any children."
"I know, but for 15 years you raised me. Do you remember?"
"No, no."
"Do you remember Jane, your wife Jane?"
Craig shut his eyes tightly as he tried to remember.
"Craig, Jane died. We buried her yesterday, I thought you'd want to know."
Craig opened his eyes and shook his head even more. "No, no Jane, no Jane."
Alexandra was getting visibly angry. "You really don't remember anything do you?"
Craig continued shaking his head, he looked at the floor, he seemed like he was going to burst into tears.
"You don't remember the shit you put her through, all the insults, all the beatings? You don't remember what you did to me?"
Craig looked up, his eyes met with Alexandra's. For the first time in their lives she held power over him. Craig stared at her eyes, trying desperately to remember where this strange girl knew him from and what did he do to her.
"How dare you forget, what gives you the right to forget all the shit you put me through? I have to live with that, I can't forget."
"I'm sorry, I don't know who you are."
"You fuckin do, you ruined my childhood, you used and abused me for your own sick, perverse needs. You fuck me up you sick cunt."
Craig was crying now, out of fear, out of desperation, out of sheer terror. "I don't remember you, whatever you think I did I'm sorry."
Alexandra slapped Craig. "Fuck you. You know what you did to me, I remember everything, I wake up at night screaming because of you. I fuckin hate you."
She slapped him again, and again. By the third slap Adam decided to intervene. He stepped forward and took hold of Alexandra's hands, stopping her from hitting him again.
"Let, ugh, let go of me."
"Come on Lexi, leave him."
"NO. No I want this cunt to remember me."
"Lexi, he doesn't, he's terrified of you. Lexi he's pissed himself."
Alexandra looked down. Craig had pissed himself, she looked back up at the frail man before her. He was crying now, heavy tears running down his face, wet snot littered his nose and lips. His weak hands covered his face to avoid getting slapped again. Looking at him Alexandra suddenly realised what she was doing, it brought her to tears.
Saying nothing, Adam just guided her out the room, she was weak in the knees, disgusted at herself for what she had done. Adam told a nurse to check on Craig but pushed Alexandra forward so they could leave before questions were asked.
Once she was in the car the flood began, Alexandra just laid her head against the dashboard and cried. Adam let her, he just drove her back to his hotel, she was in no shape to go home. By the time they arrived at the hotel she had calmed down but she still upset, her whimpers pained Adam's heart but he stayed strong as he took her inside and up to his room. She sat on the edge of the sofa while he fixed her a Hot Chocolate.
"Thank you." She said quietly after he gave her the cup.
"No problem. You ok?" He sat down beside her.
"Yeah, I just. God what was I thinking? You told me he couldn't remember anything and yet I still went off at him. I hate him so much Adam."
"Shh Lexi. I don't blame you for hating him, but let him go. He's worse now than ever, he won't be around much longer. He can't hurt you anymore, I won't let him"
Alexandra looked up and Adam. "You really wouldn't, would you?"
Before Adam could answer Alexandra leaned over and kissed him again. It much harder kiss than before, the lust in him spilled out and he had to have her. He picked her off the sofa and carried her to the bed across the room, there he laid her on top of the covers, her legs dangling off the edge. Adam knelt in front of her, his head burying itself under her dress, his fingers curling into her cotton white panties and pulling them down to reveal her bald cunny. He loved the sight in front of him, his tongue had a mind of its own as it reached out and tasted her. The familiar taste filled his mouth, it was like it had never left him.
Alexandra looked down at her cousin, she could only see the bottom of her dress moving along with his assault on her pussy with his tongue, but god that feeling of someone making her feel that way, the fact that Adam was hidden added an anonymous factor that just increased her pleasure. When Adam reached up and sucked her clit she exploded, covering her face with a pillow so her screams of pleasure wouldn't cause any trouble.
Adam stood up and looked at his cousin, she had a pregnancy glow that was enhanced by the post-orgasmic bliss on her face. If Adam wasn't in love with her before he was now.
"God you're beautiful." His voice was quiet and soft but she heard him, it warmed her heart that even with her being pregnant he found her beautiful. Still on a cloud from the cum he gave her, Alexandra stood up and kissed Adam, as she did his hands went around her and unzipped her dress, letting it fall to the ground. Alexandra stepped out of it and took off the only thing she has left, her bra.
She was now naked in front of Adam, his eyes devoured the sight of her, his hand carefully stroked the swell of her pregnant belly. Alexandra could see the look in his eyes, the look of want, of hope, of wish.
He wished the baby was his.
Alexandra pushed him back slightly, allowing her to turn around and bend over, keeping herself propped up on her arms. Adam smiled at the sight of his cousin offering herself to him, the gorgeous round ass was even more beautiful than last time. In no time Adam had unbuckled his trousers and pulled them, along with his boxers, off, his very hard cock bobbed as it was released. Adam placed the head of his cock gently inside her pussy and pushed forward, that hot, velvet feeling surrounded him and he was reminded of their first time together.
Alexandra almost came immediately, she hadn't had sex in months, a couple of times since she got pregnant but with her hormones going crazy she went from out of control horny to manically depressed six times a day and it was difficult for Ellis to keep up. But now the feeling of Adam's thicker, harder and more loving cock filled a vacancy that hadn't been filled in too long.
"Oh God Adam yes. Fuck, go, fuck me."
Adam said nothing, he simply fucked her harder and faster.
"Slap my ass Adam, do it."
Her wish was his command, Adam raised his open palm up and sent it flying down on Alexandra's bare arse, it left a bright pink mark on her but from the smile on her face she loved it.
"Fuck. Again Adam, you have no idea how much I missed that."
Adam slapped her again, however this time he left his hand on her ass, gently rubbing the mark and cupping her ass cheek. Adam's new found boldness took over him and he softly placed his thumb on Alexandra's asshole and pushed it in.
Alexandra yelped in surprise but she didn't protest, the soft purring she gave told him she enjoyed it.
"Fuck Adam, it's been a long time since I've had anything there."
"You want to change that?" His voice was soft, soothing, persuasive.
"Mmm. Not today, just keep, just keep fucking my cunt."
"As you wish."
Alexandra was surprised when Adam increased the speed of his thrusting but God was she not complaining, the sound of flesh on flesh filled the room, their sweaty bodied became idols to their lust, the musky stench of sex overwhelmed them. They were in their own world, just the two of them together.
Adam leaned forward and cupped both her stupendous breasts with his hand, kneading them, feeling their softness. He whispered in her ear.
"I love you Lexi."
It was then she came. She let out a high pitch whimpered followed by low guttural moans as she tried to find her breath again, Adam's cock was covered in a warm liquid, her juices mixed with his pre-cum , it shone in the lamp light. Alexandra turned round.
"You didn't come?"
"No. But I don't care, so long as you did." And with that Adam crawled into bed beside Alexandra and fell asleep with her.
**
Adam woke sometime in the evening, he had slept all through the afternoon. He heard Alexandra behind him, crying.
"What's wrong?"
"I just got a call from Ellis."
"And..."
"Adam he's my boyfriend, and I just cheated on him with you. I've got to stop doing this, I can't keep sleeping with you it's wrong."
Adam sat up and put his arm around Alexandra's shoulder. "Alex we haven't done anything we didn't want to do."
"That's not the point Adam. God why must you be so fuckin blind to this, to us."
"Because I love you Lexi."
Alexandra shot off the bed, she paced the room in desperation. "Stop saying that Adam. You can't love me it's wrong."
"I don't care Lexi, I can't let you out of my life I need you."
"That's you're fucking problem Adam, you don't care. You think that you and I belong together and that it's all hunky fuckin dory. What about me, what about what I want, what about what I feel about you?"
Adam slowly stood up, confused by what Alexandra was saying. "What do you mean 'how you feel about me'?"
"Christ you are blind aren't you. Adam I was in love with you, for the longest time I wanted you the same way you wanted me. Did you not realise that when I crawled into your bed when you were at my house. That's not something a cousin or a friend does to end an argument. I loved you Adam and I couldn't stand the idea of you hating me."
Adam's head was racing "Wait. Lexi if you loved me then what the hell was Jesse? What the hell was what you told me, we never had a chance at being together?"
"I envy you Adam. You have love and hope all I have is love and guilt. We're cousins, it's wrong for us to be together. But of course you never saw that, I did, I knew we were never going to be but still I loved you and it killed me, every time I thought we had a chance it crushed under the guilt."
"So what you started fucking other men to push me away."
"Fuck you. Do you have any fucking idea how hard that was for me? How was I supposed to know you would run away, I thought you were stronger than that Adam?"
"You hurt me Lexi, more than you can imagine."
"Hurt? When you left I had to deal with everyone, all the talk behind my back, all the judgemental looks. My own mother didn't talk to me for over a year because of what you did. And all the while you lived it up in California. Don't you talk to me about hurt."
Adam didn't say anything. He'd heard Alexandra had a hard time but to actually hear it from her mouth made it all the more real. "I'm sorry Lexi, I never knew."
Alexandra stayed where she was, tears began to fall down her face but it wasn't until she felt Adam's shoulder on her forehead that she burst. She let out tears that should've been cried years ago, five years of anguish and pain that she had kept bottled up were released onto her cousin. When she was finished she felt like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders, she actually found herself smiling.
"We'll have a talk later Lexi, I'll go for a shower then we'll head back to the house. We can decide where we go from here later."
"I'd like that. Thank you Adam."
"Anything for you." He kissed her head and went into the bathroom.
Alexandra lay across the bed, she felt happy, happier than she'd felt in years. It was like she'd been miserable her whole life and only now was understanding joy. She thought about it quickly and maybe there was nothing wrong with being with Adam. Sure people wouldn't like it and with her carrying another man's baby there would be difficulties but at long as they were with each other.
Just then she heard a ringing, Adam's own mobile was going off. Strange, Adam never mention owning a mobile. Alexandra answered it, not wanting Adam to miss anything important.
"Hello?"
"Oh." A woman's voice was on the other end. "I'm sorry, I'm looking for Adam McAllister."
"Yes this is Alexandra, his cousin."
"Oh yes Alex, Adam's told me about you, let me guess he hasn't brought me up yet."
"Uh no sorry."
"Typical. My name's Kaitlin, I'm Adam's girlfriend."
Girlfriend? Alexandra struggled to keep the sudden anger in her under control. "Really, Adam never mentioned you."
"Well he's like that, as I'm sure you know. Hey can you tell Adam to call me back, the painters are coming in a few days and I want to know when he'll be back."
"I'll tell him."
"Thanks."
Kaitlin hung up, Alexandra dropped the phone to the bed, the rage in her burning a hole in her stomach. She picked up a glass vase, burst into the bathroom and threw it at Adam, it barely missed him and smashed on the wall behind him.
"Lexi what the fuck?"
"You got a call from Kaitlin."
Adam's face visibly dropped. "Lexi wait..."
"I feel guilty about cheating on my boyfriend but you don't bat an eyelid at cheating on your girlfriend. You hypocritical fuck, you ran away because you thought I was cheating on you."
Adam hopped out the shower, avoiding broken glass on his bare feet, and started getting dressed. "Look Lexi this is different."
"How? In what fuckin way is this different?"
"I told you, neither of us did anything we didn't want to. I wanted to do this."
"That doesn't excuse the fact that you cheated."
"Lexi this isn't my fault, I can't control myself with you. I love you too much."
"Fuck off Adam. That is not going to work now."
Adam followed her out the bathroom. "Can you just drop it I made a mistake, we both did it so we're even now."
"Even? No Adam, when you thought I cheated on you, you were the only one that thought we were in a relationship, you never even discussed with me if we were in one. Now, you knew we were both in one, you had all day to tell me about her but you kept quiet, you went out of your way to say nothing so you're the cheating scumbag."
"Lexi look I know you're angry but you're the one that came onto me. We're both as guilty as each other."
"I was still fucked over from Craig, I needed you for comfort and you took advantage of that. You could've stopped us but you did nothing."
"Advantage? Just who do you think I am Lexi? I didn't take advantage of you and I'm disgusted that you would think that."
"Oh get off your fuckin high horse Adam, you're not getting out of this clean."
"I'm not trying to get out of this clean."
"Then why are you trying to justify this. Why didn't you say anything about her?"
"Because I want to be with you alright."
Adam fell to the bed, his head in his hands. Neither of them were shouting anymore, Adam spoke in a quiet voice.
"I wanted to start something with you, a relationship, just the two of us. That's all I thought about the whole journey here. Even when I found out about Ellis and the baby I kept Kaitlin silent because I prayed that you and I would still have that chance."
It felt like hours had gone by before Alexandra spoke up. "Do you have any idea how disgusting that sounds? Jesus Adam what were you going to tell her, what made you think that would work? I thought you were better than that, I thought you were better than me. But no, you're just as bad."
Adam said nothing as Alexandra walked out the door, yet again any chance they had of being together was ruined. Only this time he has destroyed it, now he knew how she felt all those years ago.
For the second time in his life Adam packed up and ran away from home without saying goodbye. By the time anyone noticed he was gone his plane had already taken off for California.
**
Adam returned to California trying to settle back into his life with Kaitlin, he loved her, he was sure of that but what Alexandra said stayed with him.
'You're just as bad as I am.'
Was he really, Alexandra was a cheater and she obviously knew it, it was also obvious that Adam was a cheater. But he was different to her, she toyed with him, she lied to him.
Just like he toyed with Kaitlin. Just like he lied to her. Christ he needed to leave her, she deserved better than a bastard like him.
It was a week after his return at dinner time when he finally decided to tell Kaitlin the truth, she was telling him about some friends at work but he was barely listening. He looked at her, she was a much different beauty to Alexandra, where Alex was a full on beauty that could fill a man with lust Kaitlin was more cute, she was 24, two years younger than Adam, but could easily pass for 18. Her hair was a vivid blonde and her eyes had a bright blue that made you feel content and at peace, she was the kind of girl you fell in love with and that's exactly what he did.
He felt like shit for doing this, but he needed to. Adam took a deep breath.
"I fucked another woman." He said it quickly, interrupting her. Kaitlin looked at him surprised, she heard him but she couldn't have heard that right.
"What did you say?"
Damn he didn't want to repeat himself. "I said I fucked another woman. When I was back home last week I slept with someone else."
"What? Who?"
"It doesn't matter."
"It does fuckin matter Adam, who was she?"
"She wasn't some skank if that's what you want to know. It was someone I was close to once, someone important to me. We got to talking and it just happened."
Kaitlin started crying. "Why are you telling me this?"
"Because even though I fucked up I still like you, you deserve better than me so I'm ending this."
"How, how could you just throw this away like that if you still like me? Answer me you fucking cocksucker."
"It was a moment of weakness alright, this girl meant a lot to me and I still have feelings for her. If you want me to leave I'll understand."
"Fuck you. Fuck you Adam, I can't stay here, I can't look at you anymore."
Still crying Kaitlin ran out the house and into her car, she drove away, probably to her friend's or her mother's. Either way Adam didn't follow her, it was over, two years with this wonderful girl over because he was useless and weak.
It was time to run again.
Adam packed the everything important to him into boxes and loaded them into his car. Luckily he had an off roader so the boot was massive and he could fit all his belongings in the back. The last thing he did before leaving was he left a note for Kaitlin when she got back, he never expected to see her again and wouldn't blame her if she didn't want to see him.
Looking at a map Adam set his sights on Vegas. He had enough money to stay at a hotel, who knows maybe he could gamble his pain away.
He started the car and drove away. As he did, the rain started to fall.
**
1997
**
Alexandra woke up from her headache, she got headaches most mornings nowadays. As she did every morning she looked around the room, trying to remember where she was, what happened the night before and exactly when her life turned to shit.
She'd been this way for the past seven, eight months. Ever since her mum's funeral and Adam's girlfriend, she hadn't seen him since then and didn't want to ever again. Her guilt brought her to tell Ellis about sleeping with Adam, he got understandably furious, they argued for hours and it only ended when a very stressed Alexandra felt a pain in her stomach.
As she had done so many times before, Alexandra rubbed her stomach, remembering the baby that she never got to have.
Once the baby was out of the picture Ellis had no reason to stay, he left Alexandra but as a final insult he told everyone they knew, friends, acquaintances even family, about Alexandra having sex with her cousin again. No-one had any sympathy for her anymore, a few people even said she deserved to lose the baby. What's worse is that Alexandra couldn't even turn to her step-father for help, he blamed her for her own actions and told her that made the choice to commit incest.
Disowned, hated and lost, Alexandra took her cousin's advice and ran away, taking the train from Wales back up home to Scotland, hoping to turn to Adam's parents for help. But even they weren't any help, they let her stay the night to rest after her long journey but by morning she was kicked out.
It was in this state, broken, lost, in a strange place, that led Alexandra into the bar, using the last of her money to buy a strong drink. She nursed it down, not an easy task for such a small drink, but when it was done she lay her head on the bar, she was too tired to cry.
"Can I buy you another Alex?"
Alexandra looked up, she saw the somewhat familiar face of Liam Nelson, The Admiral.
"Liam? How'd you'd you recognize me."
"The bags helped but I could never forget that pretty face."
They two of them hugged quickly. "How are you?" She asked.
"Not too good, me and Maggie are on the verge of splitting, so close to the edge we fell off two months ago."
"I'm sorry to hear."
"It's fine, it was my own fault. It's the kids I care about. What about you?"
"Same and worse."
"Come on over to my table, I'll buy you a drink and you can tell me all about it."
For the next hour Alexandra spilled out everything that had happened to her in the past few months, with the baby and Adam and Ellis and what he told everyone. By the end of it she was so emotionally drained she felt she could've slept for days in that pub. Surprisingly Liam sat there through it all and listened to her whining, he was only the second person ever to listen to her problems and not judge her.
"So what happened to you?" She felt the need to learn more about Liam.
"Me and Maggie had some differences, mainly in that she didn't want me to fuck other woman and I did."
Alexandra laughed, she couldn't remember laughing in a long time. "Sounds like we both made the same mistake."
"You've made it twice with two different people."
"I wasn't in a relationship with Adam, he just thought we were."
"You should've had told him you weren't."
"Can we not talk about Adam, that bastard's ruined his own life more than once and he's taken me down with him each time."
"Tough times huh?"
"More than you know. You're the first person to actually talk to me in months"
Liam smiled slightly as he took another sip of his drink. "You wanna get out of here, I've got a place where I lay my head if you want to come up."
"Sure, do mind if I stay over, I need a place to stay for a while."
"No problem, happy to have you."
Liam left down a tenner and helped Alexandra with her bags, it wasn't a long trip but Liam felt the need to help her, she'd been through a lot.
Liam's place was nothing special, it was a rented apartment in a rundown area. The actual apartment room was just that, a room, a dank, dingy, disgusting room with a mattress on the floor in the middle of the room and some essential equipment littered around the room.
Liam went in and sat down on the mattress. "Just put your stuff anywhere."
Alexandra didn't bother hiding her surprise, and to a great extent disgust, at Liam's living conditions. "This is a shithole Liam."
"I know but it was all I could get and I've just sort of got use to it."
"How could you get use to this?" She asked as she watch the ceiling leak.
"Drugs help."
Alexandra did a double-take, did Liam really just say that. She watched as he took a kit out from under his mattress, belt, needle, spoon, lighter, heroin. He wasn't joking.
Liam could see her shock. "It helps me Alex, I need to forget a lot of shit. I need to forget about Maggie, about Katie about Tyler. About everything and this helps me."
"Does..? Does it really make you forget?"
"Mostly yeah."
Alexandra sat down in front of him. "Give me a hit."
"What? Alex no I still have some morality."
"Fuck that Liam, I have a lot I need to forget, give me a hit."
She was determined and he was in no place to criticizes her, somewhat reluctantly Liam readied two needles. Alexandra watched in rapt fascination as Liam cooked two separate spoons of solid heroin into liquid form, while the liquid was bubbling Liam wrapped his belt around his arm, instructing Alexandra to do the same with her belt.
"Tap your elbow, get the blood pumping, get a vein up."
Alexandra tapped the crook of her elbow, her arm felt weird but it did het her veins up. Liam handed her the syringe.
"Put the needle in your vein, slowly."
Alexandra held her breath to stop her hand from shaking, she placed the needle on her arm and pushed forward.
"Stop."
Alexandra froze immediately from Liam's outburst. He took the needle from her.
"That's a bad angle, you'll only hurt herself. Here let me do it."
Liam placed the needle on Alexandra's arm, she could see what he meant by the angle. That tingling in her arm increased as the needle went into her vein, she had a sharp intake of breath when Liam extracted some of her blood to mix with the heroin.
Then he pressed the plunger.
The feeling of warmth surged through her body, the years, decades, of pain and hurt that she'd suffered disappeared in an instant, right then she was in a different place, a better place. She felt nothing.
She didn't even feel herself throw up.
"That's ok Alex, everyone throws up the first time. Everyone does it." Liam pushed his own needle into his vein, he felt the same warmth as her, despite being on heroin for nearly the past year, taking that hit with Alexandra would remain one of the best.
Alexandra wiped the vomit from her mouth, she crawled over to Liam, feeling the warmth emanating from him, she could hear his soul. When she kissed him they both felt their spirits dance together, they became warmer, they became calmer, the past disappeared further into the backs of their minds.
Liam scooted himself onto the mattress, Alexandra took her top off, followed by her trousers, wearing only her underwear she crawled onto Liam who had also stripped to his boxers. His body was pale but so far still in a good shape, a lot thinner than before the drugs but he hadn't wasted away yet. Alexandra stroked his roasting chest, touching his heartbeat, feeling it wash over her body.
Liam undid her bra, pulling it off her body. He smiled at the sight of her breasts.
"They're beautiful. You're beautiful."
Alexandra kissed him again, they're bodies were melting together, somehow they managed to get their pants off, rubbing against each other's naked flesh, intertwining together. When Liam rolled on top of Alexandra and pushed his dick into her sopping cunt she felt a feeling she'd never felt before, she felt a connection with Liam that she'd never had with anyone else, was it him, the heroin of both she couldn't tell and didn't care, the pleasure in her mind was explosive.
They stayed together for hours, slowly fuckin and rubbing against each other. Their drugged up bodies were in such a numb state they went for ages without cumming, they didn't even noticed when either of them did cum, the only evidence of their orgasms being the juices on their groins.
Sometime later, who knows how long, the two of them lay on the mattress, both naked, both still high from the heroin and both spilling out their souls.
"I knew I was losing her a long time ago. She could smell the affairs on me, every time I came home I could see her nose crinkle at their stench."
Alexandra handed him their shared cigarette. "Why did you do it?"
"I don't know. I really fuckin don't I mean I loved Maggie, I still do and God knows I'll never forget my kids. Maybe I'm just that fuckin stupid, maybe I'm weak."
"Adam said he was weak, that's why he cheated on Kaitlin, why I cheated on Ellis. It's bullshit, if you're that weak why did you start a relationship in the first place. Never start something you're never going to finish, you don't know what's it's like when something's finished for you and it's not your fault."
Liam looked over at Alexandra, she wiped a tears from her eye, with her free hand she gently stroked her empty womb.
"You Ok Alex?"
"Yeah, it's nothing. God look at me, crying over something I never even met."
Liam rolled over and kissed Alexandra, She whimpered softly at the touch of his lips, their connected souls crying out with want and need.
"Fix me up another hit Liam."
Month 1
This became their lives, drugs and fucking. They barely left the apartment except for heroin and occasionally food. The once disgusting apartment became a home to Alexandra, she didn't even notice the dried vomit stain on the floor, hers from the first day.
Neither of them wore clothes anymore, no need to when it's just the two of them, made it easier to fuck that way. One time Alexandra was leaning over the kitchen counter to get some food and was surprised to feel Liam come up behind her and start fucking her from behind. To anyone else being pushed up against the cold, hard counter would be agony but Alexandra was on a permanent high form the drugs so she felt nothing but pleasure.
Those were the happy times, she and Liam would talk for hours, days even, just connecting with each other. Neither of them could keep track of time, they could be fucking on Monday, falling asleep on Saturday and waking up on Wednesday with no knowledge of what happened to them in all that time. If it wasn't for the neighbours' paper, which they stole, they would never know the day, everything just melded into one another, days were interchangeable, as were weeks and hours and months and seconds.
But none of it mattered to them, they had each other, they had the world's best painkiller and they had their sexual health.
Month 2
The life of a junkie is not a prosperous one, this meant that once a month Liam and Alexandra exited their hovel and ventured into the strange, bright world in order to get whatever money they could . They were a sight every time they went out, in searing heats they were wrapped up warm to prevent the shivers, in the dullest days they wore sunglasses to hide their dilated pupils, if there's one thing a junkie hates more than no drugs it's judgement.
Their first stop was toilets, mostly pubs and restaurants, on the off-chance that some-one had dropped some money, they found pound coins more often than not and on a rare occasion they caught a £5 note or even a £10 one. However these were few and far between and mostly they had to resort to stealing money from people – which was incredibly risky – or stealing scrap metal and selling it, it wasn't good money but it got them by.
Month 3
From time to time one of them would utter the magic words, normally it was Liam.
"Alright that's it Alex I'm done, I'm off the stuff."
With Alexandra being the co-dependent junkie she had become she followed whatever Liam did, so when he quit the drugs she quit as well. But they never had the guts the throw away the heroin, they could only put it in the cupboard and lock it away, usually with a bike lock and then throwing the key away.
It never worked out for them, they always ended up paranoid, shaking, screaming, arguing and at a few points they even got violent, when Alexandra was having a nightmare she accidentally punched Liam in the face, giving him a black eye.
Month 4
It wasn't long before the cupboard was broken open and they were both back on the stuff.
By now their relationship was just one long drugged-up orgy, days were meaningless, weeks lasted seconds and a minute could go on for an hour, they couldn't keep track of anything, only when they wanted a next hit and when they needed to go out to get it.
Month 5
With their drug habit costing quite a bit there were a few months were they couldn't pay their dealer on time, usually he gave them a week to pay but now they hadn't been able to pay for a long time and he was looking for payment.
Their dealer was a sadistic man called Cyril Moreno, he was around their age, maybe a few years older but his mannerisms and body language made him seem almost a decade older. His eyes would always stare lecherously at Alexandra but he never touched her.
Of course when Liam and Alexandra couldn't pay he offered an alternative, Alexandra caught on quickly and accepted what she had to do. Liam was less encouraged.
"No, no, you are not doing that."
"Liam it's fine, I'm basically a whore anyways, what's one more random guy."
"This is different Alex, you're with me. I care about you."
Alexandra felt her heart sob, Liam was in love with her, and truthfully she was beginning to fall for him. But this was something she needed to do. She kissed Liam then went to face Cyril.
He wasn't gentle, he fucked her from behind, his sweaty stomach slapping against her ass, his hands clumsily groping her breasts. She numbed herself out of the experience but was shot back in when his cock violently entered her ass, it wasn't long before he shot his cum into her ass. Alexandra tried to get dress but the one remaining dress she had left was torn and her panties were un-wearable now. She walked back to Liam's house in tatters, when she got back she felt a single tear go down her cheek. Liam simple told her;
"You are not doing that again."
And for there on out they always had the right amount of money beforehand.
Month 6
After buying their latest batch from Cyril, Liam and Alexandra took a wrong turn and ended up going past a primary school at closing time. Liam walked up to the gated fence and looked inside the playground at the children running towards their parents. Through them all he saw Maggie, she was on her knees hugging Katie, her daughter, Liam's daughter.
Full of sadness and regret Liam stumbled towards the two of them, Maggie saw him and walked quicker. Liam held out his arms towards Katie.
He began to speak; "Ma..."
"Sorry I don't have any money for you." She quickly interrupted him as she put Katie into the car.
"Maggie it's me, it's Liam."
Maggie shut the door and spoke in an angry whisper so Katie wouldn't hear. "I know who you are and you disgust me. Look at you, it was bad enough when you were just a cheater but now... You're a fuckin disgrace Liam, drugged up on God knows what and her? Is she one of you fellow junkie whores?"
"No, that's Alex, she's my friend. Maggie I want to see my daughter."
"She's not you're daughter, not anymore."
Liam could only watch as his ex got in her car and drove away with his daughter, he held back the tears but when he and Alexandra got home he took an almost dangerous amount of heroin and cried himself to sleep.
He awoke over a week later.
Month 7
And so this brought her to the present, according to yesterday's newspaper it was March. Alexandra got up and out of bed, her feet barely registering the hard, crusty vomit stain on the floor. Alexandra opened the door to steal the paper again but as she did she saw that across the hall another neighbour was trying to fit a large mirror through their door. Alexandra looked at the mirror, she couldn't believe was she saw.
No way was the reflection hers. She was stark naked and hadn't even realised it, her hair was long, messy, dirty and very straw-like, her skin was disgustingly pale with stains from food, blood, sweat and cum amongst other unknowns. Her body was horrifyingly thin, bones were seen against the skin and her once curvy body was now full of edges and sharp corners. Worst was her face, her eyes held pain and tiredness, she looked fifty five instead of twenty five.
Ignoring the paper she rushed back instead. Suddenly all the memories came back to her, for the first time she saw what she and Liam had become and what they had done. She was disgusted with herself and threw up on the floor, this new vomit pile landing right next to her first one form months ago. She needed help.
Alexandra got dressed, gathered what belongings of hers she hadn't sold yet and left a note for Liam before leaving his apartment, she saw the revolting mess for what it was again. She left the apartment quickly and ran outside.
The sun burnt her skin and blinded her, she had been a recluse for so long this was new to her, had it really been only eight months, she felt like she'd been hooked on heroin for years. Her head pounded, her throat was dry and she felt every inch of her ache, she practically ran to the hospital.
She rushed though the hospital doors and slammed herself against the reception desk.
"I need help." Was all she said.
Once the doctors were finished taking tests and filling in paperwork for her stay at rehab Alexandra was allowed to phone someone, she called Kieran and Carol but when Carol picked up the phone Alexandra couldn't get past her name before bursting into tears. Thankfully a friendly nurse took the phone and told them where she was.
Alexandra needed all the help she could get
**
Adam was surprised when he got a phone call from Liam, despite having his number in his phonebook for years they hadn't talked since Jane's funeral. Liam had come into a bit of money from winning a bet and wanted to know where Adam was so he could visit.
Adam had been living in Las Vegas for the past year. He'd only meant to stop off there but like everything is his life he settled. He got a job as a bartender at a strip club, and was currently living in one of Vegas' great hotels. He didn't have a penthouse but it was near the top. All in all he was living The Good Life: Lite Version.
When the summer of 1997 came around Liam boarded a plane and went to visit Adam. They met in the terminal, hugging each other like the old friend's they were.
"It's good to see you Adam."
"You too Liam, Christ you look like you're wasting away, what happened to you?"
"I'll explain in the car. Come on."
Adam led Liam to his car, a small red thing but it was in good condition.
"So what you been up to?" Liam asked once they left the airport.
"Been working around here, bartender at a strip club and part-time blackjack dealer at one of the casinos."
"Sounds pretty good."
"It is, work nights so I get to see the city in the dark. Fuckin beautiful. What about you Liam, tell me what you've been doing."
"Ah I've been in the dumps and lower Adam, me and Maggie broke up last year, I was cheating on her and she found out. Haven't seen my kids since and I got started on heroin to forget it all."
"Fuck Liam, no wonder you're like that. You still on that shit"
"Not really, I locked myself in my room and de-toxed myself for about a month because I came here so if I start shaking don't worry."
"You sound like you've had it rough."
"Ah once you get use to the squalor it's no problem. Actually lived with this girl for a few months, guess we had a relationship but she took off one day for rehab and I haven't seen her since."
"Sounds like you had a druggy romance."
"Yeah, I guess I did."
"What was her name?"
"Ah you don't know her."
"I wouldn't think so I've been living in America for six, seven years."
"She was no-one ok and I'd rather not talk about her."
"Ok, I'm sorry."
Liam stayed quiet for the rest of the journey. Adam could see that this strange girl obviously meant something to Liam and she hurt him.
Nevertheless when they stepped out the elevator and into Adam's apartment Liam couldn't contain how impressed he was.
"Woo, Adam you've hit the big time here."
"It's nothing much, you save up a bit and get a few small wins downstairs and even you can get this. I've only been here a few months, the first three months living here I slept at the bar I was working at."
"They let you."
"No."
The two friends laughed. "So listen Liam I've got the week off, what do you want to do?"
"Hey man you're the one that lives here, you know all the places to hit up. Where do we start?"
"Let's grab a pizza first then we'll head out, gamble a little, pick up some chicks, party."
"Normal Friday night?"
"Friday? This is my usual Monday."
The two friends headed downstairs, by now it was getting dark and the lights were coming on. Liam was impressed but couldn't believe it when Adam said they got better. They walked down the street to a small pizza restaurant, it was fairly busy but not too bad. The door opened with a bell to let the owner know someone had come in, one of the cooks looked over the counter and smiled at Adam.
"Mr McAllister, it's been too long."
The two men shook hands.
"Only a few weeks Martin. Oh Martin this is my friend Liam, Liam this is Martin, he owns the restaurant."
Liam shook Martin's hand. "Hey."
"Hello sir, what can I get you Adam, it's on the house, as always."
"Get me a two deluxe options Martin."
"Right away sir, what shall you choose for a topping?"
"Make mine a plain, extra cheese if there is any. If I know Liam he'll have a pepperoni."
"I'll get right on that. Take a seat."
Adam and Liam took a booth near the window. "On the house? What'd you do to get him so happy?"
"Martin's got Mob connections, he had some trouble with protection money so the mob were going to kidnap his daughter. And trust me, this mob is a particularly sexually vicious mob, what they do to kidnap victims is worse than dying. Anyway I'd been flirting with his daughter for a good week and was just about to score a date with her so I did something about it. I paid the protection money and he's been looking after me ever since."
"Awesome, what happened with you and the daughter?"
"Nothing much, we fucked a couple of times but we knew it wasn't anything serious. Besides last Christmas she and her friends took a vacation to New York and she met a guy there."
Martin arrived with their pizzas, surprisingly fast though Liam but this was Vegas, maybe it was different here. Liam opened his pizza box and to his surprise there was a phone number written under the cover.
"Hey Adam, what's this number on the box for?"
Adam smiled. "That's the deluxe option. Martin runs a prostitution ring from the restaurant, if you want company you ask for the deluxe option, then you pick what type of girl you want, you want blonde you get a plain cheese, you want redhead, which I remember you have a thing for, you get pepperoni and if you want brunette you get the meat feast. You can even choose to get a stacked girl by asking for extra on your pizza, like I ordered extra cheese, or you can go for the vegetarian option if you want a skinny girl. You can even have coffee if you want a black girl or rice if you're into Asians."
"That last one's pretty racist."
"I know but I didn't write the rules up. Anyway we're giving the phone numbers because they can't have the prostitutes in the restaurant, whenever we're ready we call them and pick them up. What do you think?"
"I'm a little hesitant over picking up two manky hookers."
"They're not streetwalking whores they're escorts, real girls that are the real deal. You'll love them Liam."
"America's changed you Adam, you use to be a sweet wee boy from Glasgow, now look at you; whore using mob paying badass."
"America didn't change me Liam Lexi did. She hurt me so much I almost died but I didn't and I'm grown into who I am today. Now come on, let's finish these pizzas and pick up some hookers."
Liam smiled as he bit into a frankly delicious pizza. But he couldn't decide if he liked this new version of Adam or not yet.
**
After their pizza Adam called up the escorts and told them to meet him and Liam outside Adam's hotel. As promised one was a blonde with a large rack – and wasn't afraid to show it off. The other was a redhead, a lot skinnier than her counterpart but still packing some meat. Adam immediately took the blonde in arm while Liam timidly linked his arm with Red.
"Lighten up Liam." Boomed a smiling Adam. "This is your night my friend."
Evidently Adam had made some friends during his time in Vegas, when the four of them walked into the casino several people walked up to Adam and shook his hand, even a few casino bosses. Adam smiled and said a few words before taking the group to a craps table. Liam couldn't understand the game but Adam had somehow become a master, roll after roll after roll he hit the high numbers needed to win.
All through this the drinks poured into them, Liam couldn't remember picking up a glass of the expensive champagne but it was delicious and it never ended, every time he finished the glass it was refilled by someone Liam couldn't see.
After about an hour of drinking and winning Adam threw a final hand and walked away, not caring what it landed on. He cashed his substantial winnings and the four of them went back upstairs to Adam's room.
It was a debauchery that would make Babylon blush, the two escorts were stripping off before the door was even closed and began bouncing on the sofas. Their breast jiggling and the arms flailing, Adam, quite drunk, began throwing his sack of money notes around the room yelling 'Make it rain.'
Liam only watched in stunned silence at the scene unfolding in front of him.
Soon the drinks were flowing again, this time through a lot more of it ended up on them then in them, Blondie got a champagne shower, something hat Red took as a sign to lick her clean. While Red went down on Blondie, Blonder spun round to take Adam's cock into her mouth. Adam smiled as his cock was engulfed between her soft, full lips. Adam looked over at Liam.
"Go on." He whispered. "Fuck her."
Adam motioned towards Red's bald cunt, Liam was drunk but still sober enough to think this was something he shouldn't do.
But he wasn't sober enough and soon enough he surprised Red by ploughing into her.
The fucking lasted a good few hours, the positions and number of partners changed frequently but everyone had an orgasm and more. When it looked like everyone's buzz was slowing down Adam opened a safe on the wall and pulled out his wild-card.
Cocaine.
Liam was shocked to see his friend had hard drugs, he was even more surprised he was bringing them out, especially after Liam's own drug period. Adam could sense Liam's hesitance, but he simply smiled and pushed a line towards him and lit a cigar.
"It's Vegas baby."
Adam blew a smoke ring towards Liam and snorted his own line before he mounted a coked-up Blondie and began fucking her.
The weak-willed Liam followed his friend's example and snorted a line. The electricity frying his brain enhanced all his senses, he could see for miles, smell everything, the sweat, the cum, the dried in booze.
But even then he couldn't feel red taking his hand and leading him towards the bedroom.
**
The early suns of sunshine were peaking through the window when Red woke Adam.
"What the fuck do you want?" He asked her groggily.
"It's your friend, he's freaking out in there."
Pissed at his rude awakening Adam went into the bedroom where he saw Liam sitting on the edge of the bed crying.
"Liam? What's wrong?"
"I was thinking about her."
"Who?"
"My girl."
"Maggie?"
"No, the girl I was with when I was on heroin, that girl."
"Her? Liam you told me she was nothing."
"She wasn't nothing Adam I loved her, she meant everything to me and she just left me."
"Liam, I'm not going to get into this, I'm not going to let you cry on my shoulder because of some chick I've never met."
"You have met her Adam. It was Alex."
Adam's blood chilled at the mention of his cousin's name. "What?"
"It was Alex, the girl I was with, it was Alex. I didn't mean for her to get hooked on the drugs, I just wanted a friend and then she became more to me. For seven months we got high and fucked, that was it and it was the best time of my life. I loved her Adam, more than you ever did."
Adam punched Liam square in the jaw, the force of the hit sent him flying off the bed.
"Ok, ok Adam I deserved that."
Adam punched Liam again. "I didn't deserve that."
A furious Liam pounced on Adam, the two men started wailing on each other, not caring about their own safety this was a fight to the death.
Adam got the upper hand at one point and rolled on top of Liam. "I don't believe you. Why would Lexi go to you, why leave Wales, why leave Ellis?"
"She had no choice, she miscarried Adam, she lost the baby. Everyone knew about the two of you and they judged her, she more or less got kicked out and she went back home looking for help from your parents."
Liam kneed Adam in the side and rolled over so he was on top. "Instead she found me. She needed help Adam, she needed you by her side but you fucked off to America to live it up with your whores and your drugs. This isn't you Adam, I know you and you would not fall into the mess. You miss Alex, I can tell."
Adam refused to start crying, he simply punched Liam repeatedly to the point where he needed to get off Adam to escape the pain.
"What difference does it make Liam, she hated me, she pretty much told me to leave."
"No she didn't Adam, you ran away because of your own selfish reason. You always run away."
"I had no other choice."
"No, you always had a choice Adam."
Those words echoed in Adam's mind as he thought back. Had he run away on his own accord? Did Lexi really need him?
He was so distracted by his own thoughts he never saw Liam's fist rush up to hit him right in the face.
And then the darkness fell.