drlauren
03-20-2012, 04:04 AM
I've done some standup. Making fun of men does make most laugh. However, roiling my fellow girls makes them laugh like hell. Here's some:
Who is more dumb when it comes to sex? Men or women? Women. Men will do almost anything for pussy. That's a given. But, some women will do almost anything for nothing. It's totally fucking true. But let me prove it.
I'm sicking of hearing girls say they are having an Oops! Women allow creampie surprises. Men don't want to get a woman he just met knocked up. But, instead of making the guy wear a condom, a woman will trust a guy to pull out before he cums and spray her in the face. Now, I realize that works in porn but most guys do not have that kind of control. All they heard was she ain't making me wear a condom and my ass will just have to pull out before I cum. While he's fucking the pussy he's thinking of cumming in her face like a guy in a porno. He ain't thinking of pulling out. No way. He's thinking I get to be mister porn and cum on her face. There's a pill bitches. Take it or your dumbass deserves to get knocked up. I'm sicking of hearing girls say they are having an Oops!
Women think guys like to cuddle. Bitches, please. A man will say anything until he cums. He ain't gonna cuddle and he knows. When you want to cuddle, he's sticking the key in the car door. But, there is a solution. Handcuffs. Hell, stop being so stupid and handcuff his ass to the bed and leave him when YOU CUM!
Women are so damn stupid they'll think, hey, cool, he wants to make a sextape with me because I'm so fucking hot. Bitch, please. Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian, Miley Cirus, that tennis bitch, xxxxceta! Well, on second thought, it was her dad Billy Ray Cirus, but.... Guys want to make a sextape so they can post that shit on youporn and let other men tell them they are the fucking man, bitches! I'll bet some bitches are so damn fucking stupid they just sit there and go, yeah, to their guy saying, "let's put it on the Internet and show everyone how much in love we are or how hot we are fucking." If you do that, you ain't got no damn sense, girls. None whatsoever. Might as well become a webcam girl and get paid for that shit.
Women get pissed if the guy don't eat them out after they suck their dick and swallow. Stupid, girls! I love sucking dick myself but I love getting eaten too. So, if a guy says, blow me and swallow, say, okay, if you eat me and make me cum.
Nothing is more stupid than a woman that lets a guy fuck her and doesn't cum. And, some bitches will lay there, oh, oh, oh, yes, yes, baby, fuck me baby and fake it then bitch to all the girls she never cums. What the fuck? What's the point of giving up your coochie if you don't cum too? Here's a simple trick. TELL HIS ASS HOW TO FIND THE MAGIC BUTTON! The clit, girls. Hey, baby, this in my button (me pointing), rub this while you humping. How hard is that shit? God gave your ass a clitoris and apparently no assertiveness to speak up and help him find it.
Thanks, you all been great.
Who is more dumb when it comes to sex? Men or women? Women. Men will do almost anything for pussy. That's a given. But, some women will do almost anything for nothing. It's totally fucking true. But let me prove it.
I'm sicking of hearing girls say they are having an Oops! Women allow creampie surprises. Men don't want to get a woman he just met knocked up. But, instead of making the guy wear a condom, a woman will trust a guy to pull out before he cums and spray her in the face. Now, I realize that works in porn but most guys do not have that kind of control. All they heard was she ain't making me wear a condom and my ass will just have to pull out before I cum. While he's fucking the pussy he's thinking of cumming in her face like a guy in a porno. He ain't thinking of pulling out. No way. He's thinking I get to be mister porn and cum on her face. There's a pill bitches. Take it or your dumbass deserves to get knocked up. I'm sicking of hearing girls say they are having an Oops!
Women think guys like to cuddle. Bitches, please. A man will say anything until he cums. He ain't gonna cuddle and he knows. When you want to cuddle, he's sticking the key in the car door. But, there is a solution. Handcuffs. Hell, stop being so stupid and handcuff his ass to the bed and leave him when YOU CUM!
Women are so damn stupid they'll think, hey, cool, he wants to make a sextape with me because I'm so fucking hot. Bitch, please. Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian, Miley Cirus, that tennis bitch, xxxxceta! Well, on second thought, it was her dad Billy Ray Cirus, but.... Guys want to make a sextape so they can post that shit on youporn and let other men tell them they are the fucking man, bitches! I'll bet some bitches are so damn fucking stupid they just sit there and go, yeah, to their guy saying, "let's put it on the Internet and show everyone how much in love we are or how hot we are fucking." If you do that, you ain't got no damn sense, girls. None whatsoever. Might as well become a webcam girl and get paid for that shit.
Women get pissed if the guy don't eat them out after they suck their dick and swallow. Stupid, girls! I love sucking dick myself but I love getting eaten too. So, if a guy says, blow me and swallow, say, okay, if you eat me and make me cum.
Nothing is more stupid than a woman that lets a guy fuck her and doesn't cum. And, some bitches will lay there, oh, oh, oh, yes, yes, baby, fuck me baby and fake it then bitch to all the girls she never cums. What the fuck? What's the point of giving up your coochie if you don't cum too? Here's a simple trick. TELL HIS ASS HOW TO FIND THE MAGIC BUTTON! The clit, girls. Hey, baby, this in my button (me pointing), rub this while you humping. How hard is that shit? God gave your ass a clitoris and apparently no assertiveness to speak up and help him find it.
Thanks, you all been great.