Are we this stupid?

[cajun]

Product Warnings:

"Do not use if you cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet." -- In the information booklet.
"Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.
"For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.
"Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron.
"Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer.
"Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer.
"Do not use while sleeping or unconscious." -- On a hand-held massaging device.
"Do not place this product into any electronic equipment." -- On the case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket.
"Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking." -- On a toilet at a public sports facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan.
"Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." -- On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists.
"This product not intended for use as a dental drill." -- On an electric rotary tool.
"Caution: Do not spray in eyes." -- On a container of underarm deodorant.
"Do not drive with sunshield in place." -- On a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard.
"Caution: This is not a safety protective device." -- On a plastic toy helmet used as a container for popcorn.
"Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks." -- On an "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter.
"Battery may explore or leak." -- On a battery. See a scanned image.
"Do not eat toner." -- On a toner cartridge for a laser printer.
"Not intended for highway use." -- On a 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow.
"This product is not to be used in bathrooms." -- On a Holmes bathroom heater.
"May irritate eyes." -- On a can of self-defense pepper spray.
"Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth." -- On a novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock."
"Caution! Contents hot!" -- On a Domino's Pizza box.
"Caution: Hot beverages are hot!" -- On a coffee cup.
"Caution: Shoots rubber bands." -- On a product called "Rubber Band Shooter."
"Warning: May contain small parts." -- On a frisbee.
"Do not use orally." -- On a toilet bowl cleaning brush.
"Please keep out of children." -- On a butcher knife.
"Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less." -- On a birthday card for a 1 year old.
"Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use." -- On a battery.
"Warning: Do not use on eyes." -- In the manual for a heated seat cushion.
"Do not look into laser with remaining eye." -- On a laser pointer.
"Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven.
"For use on animals only." -- On an electric cattle prod.
"For use by trained personnel only." -- On a can of air freshener.
"Keep out of reach of children and teenagers." -- On a can of air freshener.
"Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you." -- On a motorcycle helmet-mounted rear-view mirror.
"Warning: Riders of personal watercraft may suffer injury due to the forceful injection of water into body cavities either by falling into the water or while mounting the craft." -- In the manual for a jetski.
"Warning: Do not climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury and death." -- A label inside a protective bag (for fragile objects), which measures 15cm by 15cm by 12cm.
"Do not use as ear plugs." -- On a package of silly putty.
"Please store in the cold section of the refrigerator." -- On a bag of fresh grapes in Australia.
"Warning: knives are sharp!" -- On the packaging of a sharpening stone.
"Not for weight control." -- On a pack of Breath Savers.
"Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth." -- On the label of a bottled drink.
"Theft of this container is a crime." -- On a milk crate.
"Do not use intimately." -- On a tube of deodorant.
"Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice." -- On a box of rat poison.
"Fragile. Do not drop." -- Posted on a Boeing 757.
"Cannot be made non-poisonous." -- On the back of a can of de-icing windshield fluid.
"Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage." -- On a portable stroller.
"Excessive dust may be irritating to shin and eyes." -- On a tube of agarose powder, used to make gels.
"Look before driving." -- On the dash board of a mail truck.
"Do not iron clothes on body." -- On packaging for a Rowenta iron.
"Do not drive car or operate machinery." -- On Boot's children's cough medicine.
"For indoor or outdoor use only." -- On a string of Christmas lights.
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." -- On a child sized Superman costume.
"This door is alarmed from 7:00pm - 7:00am." -- On a hospital's outside access door.
"Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted." -- On a sign at a railroad station.
"Warning: do not use if you have prostate problems." -- On a box of Midol PMS relief tablets.
"Product will be hot after heating." -- On a supermarket dessert box.
"Do not turn upside down." -- On the bottom of a supermarket dessert box.
"Do not light in face. Do not expose to flame." -- On a lighter.
"Choking hazard: This toy is a small ball." -- On the label for a cheap rubber ball toy.
"Not for human consumption." -- On a package of dice.
"May be harmful if swallowed." -- On a shipment of hammers.
"Using Ingenio cookware to destroy your old pots may void your warranty." -- A printed message that appears in a television advertisement when the presenter demonstrates how strong the cookware is by using it to beat up and destroy a regular frying pan.
"Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand." -- In the manual for a Swedish chainsaw.
"Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers." -- From a manual for an SGI computer.
"Warning: May contain nuts." -- On a package of peanuts.
"Do not eat." -- On a slip of paper in a stereo box, referring to the styrofoam packing.
"Do not eat if seal is missing." -- On said seal.
"Remove occupants from the stroller before folding it."
"Access hole only -- not intended for use in lifting box." -- On the sides of a shipping carton, just above cut-out openings which one would assume were handholds.
"Warning: May cause drowsiness." -- On a bottle of Nytol, a brand of sleeping pills.
"Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death." -- Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle.
"Do not use orally after using rectally." -- In the instructions for an electric thermometer.
"Turn off motor before using this product." -- On the packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain.
"Not to be used as a personal flotation device." -- On a 6x10 inch inflatable picture frame.
"Do not put in mouth." -- On a box of bottle rockets.
"Remove plastic before eating." -- On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack.
"Not dishwasher safe." -- On a remote control for a TV.
"For lifting purposes only." -- On the box for a car jack.
"Do not put lit candles on phone." -- On the instructions for a cordless phone.
"Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants." -- On the packaging for a wristwatch.
"Do not wear for sumo wrestling." -- From a set of washing instructions. See a scanned image.

Assurances:

"Safe for use around pets." -- On a box of Arm & Hammer Cat Litter.


Small Print From Commercials:

"Do not use house paint on face." -- In a Visa commercial that depicts an expecting couple looking for paint at a hardware store.
"Do not drive cars in ocean." -- In a car commercial which shows a car in the ocean.
"Always drive on roads. Not on people." -- From a car commercial which shows a vehicle "body-surfing" at a concert.
"For a limited time only." -- From a Rally's commercial that described how their burgers were fresh.
Signs and Notices:

"No stopping or standing." -- A sign at bus stops everywhere.
"Do not sit under coconut trees." -- A sign on a coconut palm in a West Palm Beach park circa 1950.
"These rows reserved for parents with children." -- A sign in a church.
"All cups leaving this store, rather full or empty, must be paid for." -- A sign in a Cumberland Farms in Hillsboro, New Hampshire.
"Malfunction: Too less water." -- A notice left on a coffee machine.
"Prescriptions cannot be filled by phone." -- On a form in a clinic.
"You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside." -- On a bag of Fritos.
"Fits one head." -- On a hotel-provided shower cap box.
"Payment is due by the due date." -- On a credit card statement.
"No small children." -- On a laundromat triple washer.
"Warning: Ramp Ends In Stairs." -- A sign, correctly describing the end of a concrete ramp intended for handicap access to a bridge.

Safety Procedures:

"Take care: new non-slip surface." -- On a sign in front of a newly renovated ramp that led to the entrance of a building.
"In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood, proceed uphill quickly." -- One of the emergency safety procedures at a summer camp.
Ingredients:

"Ingredients:

Artificially bleached flour, sugar, vegetable fat, yeast, salt, gluten, soya flour, emulsifier 472 (E) & 481, flour treatment agents, enzymes, water. May contain: fruit." -- The ingredients list on a package of fruit buns.
"100% pure yarn." -- On a sweater.
"Some materials may irritate sensitive skin. Please look at the materials if you believe this may be the case.

Materials:

Covering: 100% Unknown.
Stuffing: 100% Unknown."
-- On a pillow.
"Cleans and refreshes without soap or water. Contains: Water, fragrance & soap." -- On the packet for a moist towelette. See a scanned image.

Instructions:

"Remove the plastic wrapper." -- The first instruction on a bag of microwave popcorn; to see the instructions, one first has to remove the plastic wrapper and unfold the pouch.
"Take one capsule by mouth three times daily until gone." -- On a box of pills.
"Open packet. Eat contents." -- Instructions on a packet of airline peanuts.
"Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat." -- Instructions on the packaging for a muffin at a 7-11.
"Use like regular soap." -- On a bar of Dial soap.
"Instructions: usage known." -- Instructions on a can of black pepper.
"Serving suggestion: Defrost." -- On a Swann frozen dinner.
"Simply pour the biscuits into a bowl and allow the cat to eat when it wants." -- On a bag of cat biscuits.
"In order to get out of car, open door, get out, lock doors, and then close doors." -- In a car manual.
"Please include the proper portion of your bill." -- On the envelope for an auto insurance bill.
"The appliance is switched on by setting the on/off switch to the 'on' position." -- Instructions for an espresso kettle.
"For heat-retaining corrugated cardboard technology to function properly, close lid." -- On a Domino's sandwich box.

Requirements:

"Optional modem required." -- On a computer software package.

Keyboard not detected. Press F1 to continue
Various Computers

This camera will only work when film is inside.
Unknown European Camera

The following is found on page 4 of the instruction book:
To place or answer a call, lift the handset.
To place a call, dial the desired number.
To end the call, hang up the handset.
Another gem, also on Page 4:
To put a call on Hold: Press “Hold”.
Lucent Technologies Model 6210 Telephone

On startup: No keyboard detected. Press any key to continue.
Various Personal Computers

written on the screen) No screen detected
Various Desktop Computers

Press STORE to store
Yamaha Pro-Mix 01 Mixing Desk LCD Display

Do not attempt to stick head inside deck, which may result in injury.
Japanese GameCube Instruction Manual

Warning! Disconnect telephone lines before opening!
Sony Vaio PCV-J200 Computer

Be kind – rewind.
Blockbuster Rental DVD

Best when used with MiniDisc recorders and players.
Unknown Minidisc Player

CAUTION: Risk of electric shock. Do not open.
Sony Trinitron

[James3T]

We're not that stupid (in the main), 99% of the above warnings were put there to stop lawyers suing companies when some people do stupid things.

[Saffer]

In a word...YES! :) I think a lot of that comes from the lawsuit where a woman put her trailervan into cruise control, and went to make a sandwich. The van then crashed (who'd have thought???) but she sued saying that it didn't say anywhere in the manual that it didn't say you couldn't do what she had.

Oh, then there's the woman who sued MacDonalds because the coffee was too hot, and they didn't warn her.

Some dumbass people out there!

[espana]

Over the years I have reported on people doing the most outrageous things either to themselves or others so yes there is a percentage of the population that are unsafe through shear stupidity, There in every country and from every strata of society stupidity and lack of education are not the same thing just look at politicans In fact some times the higher the IQ the higher the risk of acts of extreme stupidity when completing day to day tasks.

Also remember that allmost 50% of the population never see the warnings as Men never read the instructions

As an aside the coffe in the macdonalds case was at boiling temprature and nobody expects that hot yes actualy boiling no

[myrasimmons45]

The societal and legal results of the actions of those deserving of a Darwinian Award.

[bluemarine1775]

Yes, we are that stupid, and getting dumber by the day.

Dumb people used to be killed by doing stupid things, not they are protected. Then they reproduce and pass on their dumb genes. Instead of the smartest, fastest, and strongest reproducing, everyone does. I fear for the future of humanity.

Has anyone seen the movie "Idiocracy"?

I'm not saying we should require an IQ test for breeding, its just interesting to think where society will be in a couple hundred years.

[saross]

It's the result of having too many lawyers.

[Harry Chimp]

Blue Marine, in 100 years, folks will be up the fucking trees.
If it takes that long.

[lookinforward]

The warnings and such we read or have read to us every day are there because lawyers found a loop hole in the law. And through that loop hole used it to exploit the legal system for money or capitol gain of sort. I actually blame the judges for a lot of this. When a law suit comes before the bench the judge does have the right to refuse to hear it on the basis of no grounds for the law suit. But instead, lawyers found that if they clog the legal system, insurance companies will settle. Worse yet, juries feel sorry for the victim and hate big companies. As one juror told me once (he served on a civil jury and they found the company guilty).. what's the difference, the company has insurance.

Its only going to get worse in the future.

[comsmith22]

We're not that stupid (in the main), 99% of the above warnings were put there to stop lawyers suing companies when some people do stupid things.

I have a friend who is a lawyer... But He works on real estate not the rest of the crap... He likes to sleep at night and cant force himself to lie ... But he has said many times that one or two stupid people or just plain Idiots will screw things up for the rest of us... and the warnings are not there for the 99% of us that use the Brain god gave us... but to the 1% who make the "Jackass Movies"... and the 75% of the lawyers looking to make a fast Buck and a big name for himself, Like John Edwards...
Personally I think if you get hurt it is a learning tool you don't do it again and If you do then you need to be taken out of the Gene pool before you breed more mentally defendant idiots like your self...

[flubber]

Unfortunately there are some people who are that stupid. After all there was a case of a man who sued the makers of the Winnebego because he decided to put his vehicle on cruise control and went of to make a cup of tea and then got upset because he crashed.

He claimed that it wasnt in the handbook that he shouldn't do it.

[oae1992]

Some people are that stupid, but I think the warnings were put there because of idiotic lawyers!!

[maleman]

Companys that manufacture Ladders are the most impacted I think. The TV program "60 Minutes" did a segment on warning lables on ladders. Anuone using a ladder should know that if you lean too far away from the ladder while standing on it will, due to the laws of gravity, cause it (and you) to TIP OVER!
The only time some peopje think, is after they do something stupid and then they seem to be smart enough to find a lawyer!

[Frostebyte]

Yes there are actually people stupid enough to not follow those warnings.

[diamond69x]

The lawyers and I wouldn't go as far as saying stupid is as stupid does, it's also for children too and the handicap (I always feel like I'm offending the person by giving them that title). But yeah, some of us really do need those warnings. Rinse, lather, repeat (avoid eye contact).

[Brigit Astar]

I've posted the following in another forum, but what the hay...
In one of ole Will Shakespeare's plays, he has one of the characters stating (concerning, I think, the characters present taking over the government) "First we kill all the lawyers."
Sometimes I think ole Will was pretty smart.

[DirtydomWriter]

love it has me laughing outloud!!!

[Alice Bluegown]

I've always been a huge fan of the 'Do not eat' admonition on packets of silica gel desiccant. It's not so much the warning itself, more wondering who it was that first saw those little round beads and thought, "Man, they look tasty..."

[Marlene38EE]

A lot of those warnings are also likely intended tp deter drunk/stoned folks from doing stupid things too.

[idwytkwia]

The term "Ambulance chaser" is not thrown around without reason in many cases, but there are some where the warnings are pretty ridiculous.

So you know how pretty much every coffee cup says "Warning: Contents Hot", right? And how "some stupid idiot must have burned himself and sued someone."

Turns out it was a woman who had gotten coffee at a drive through; this was back when McD's still used thin styrofoam cups. Back then it was also standard procedure at McD's (though not advertised) to heat the coffee to about 200 degrees (98 degrees for me). McResearch had found out that a large percentage of people who got coffee didn't drink it until they got to the office, and didn't want it to get cold in the meantime.

So she's at the drivethrough, orders a McMeal for breakfast and a coffee. Puts the food on the seat and the coffee between her legs. The heat of the coffee made the material of the cup weak so that when she had to panic break as she left the restaurant, she scalded herself.

And not just any old scalding. We're talking about third degree burns on her genetalia. Holy fucking ow.

So it goes to trial and the McLawyers say that it's not their fault, it's no big deal. Sure it's standard procedure, no biggie. Then the defense calls a Mc[e]xec up to the stand and he says something to the lines of "it's never been this much of a problem before."


Now, to this point this was an isolated case but something that bore investigating. Turned out McD's had similar situations happen before, and had buried them with settlements. So this all comes out and the trial judge basically says "WTF you guys got some 'splainin to do."

Judgement goes in favor of the burned lady, and she gets a ton of money in punitive damages. They change the standards and add the warning. Lawyers say to the Judge "Can you do us a favor and put a gag order on her so she can't tell her story to the media and all that?" Judge says "'kay", and that's that.


So even though the lady was in the right and McD's was VERY much in the wrong, she's not allowed to tell her side of the story. As a result everyone thinks this kind of thing is frivolous and she gets essentially constantly maligned for being "that crazy lady who sued McD's."




Though to be fair, some shit is just retarded. The cruise control thing is one...apparently the silica beads themselves aren't that bad, but if you consume enough it'll drain your gut of liquid which is muy bad for you. I'm all for keeping the lawyers...just making sure that "Legalese" no longer exists and that we make it all plain language.

[DirtyTyke]

Some of the ones in the first post are actually sensible warnings.

e.g. "Battery may explore or leak." -- On a battery.
I assume that's a typo and the warning is perfectly fine.

"Access hole only -- not intended for use in lifting box." -- On the sides of a shipping carton, just above cut-out openings which one would assume were handholds.
Fair enough, most people would assume they were handholds, so it makes sense to put a warning if they're not. Or just not have the holes at all.

"Please store in the cold section of the refrigerator." -- On a bag of fresh grapes in Australia.
Most fridges actually have different temperature compartments, so this is perfectly fine.

I strongly suspect some of them are put there for a laugh by people with my kind of sense of humour.
e.g.
"Open packet. Eat contents." -- Instructions on a packet of airline peanuts.
"Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat." -- Instructions on the packaging for a muffin at a 7-11.
"For heat-retaining corrugated cardboard technology to function properly, close lid." -- On a Domino's sandwich box.

Also, I've actually sprayed deodorant in my eyes before. Totally by accident of course though. It did have the warning "Caution: Do not spray in eyes." on the bottle too. I checked afterward. It didn't cause me any inconvenience at all, no loss of vision, no stinging, nothing; so the warning wasn't even necessary at all.

[snowmanbud]

damn lawyers

[groomleader]

Well, when a motorhome has 23 seperate warnings, including this little gem "Ingestion of engine parts could cause serious injury or death", well, that makes me think. If some person opens up the hood of a car, and thinks, "Hmm, that exhaust maifold looks delicious" and tries to eat it, forget yelling for a lawyer, lock that loony tunes up in a rubber room in the local nut house!

[hornyat40]

The warnings are probably just for those idiots in the world who think that 2+2=71

[espana]

I just came over a truly strange piece of research high flying parents with high IQs are more likely to have average or under acheving children

[smoothshy]

those are hilarious! you need a warning sign in your face to go get the mail these days!

[jonbick234]

We can be pretty stupid.