Frosty Feline
01-06-2009, 06:52 PM
Hello, readers and writers of SPP. The thread you have just ventured into features the second (and much better) erotica story I have ever written, though it's only a scene. In fact, this is the first dirty piece have ever shown to the public, and as such I am very eager to hear any feedback you may have.
If you have suggestions for how I can make it better, please voice them, or even just saying what parts (if any) turned you on the most/least. Anything from reworking a single sentence to focusing more or less on specific actions/descriptions - I'd really love to hear your opinions.
Thank you, and enjoy.
Well-Spent Time
by Frosty Feline
As the credits began to roll, Dan turned the television screen off with the press of a button. Carey snuggled in closer to him, her head on his lap, fingers toying with the holes on the knees of his jeans, his free hand resting on her side.
“I liked that movie,” she said with feeling, her voice low.
“Really?” he asked after a pause, looking down at her with a slight smile. “But it had such a sad ending.”
He was incredibly aware of the movements of her head on his thigh as she nodded, making his skin tingle ever so slightly under the thick material. “Yeah, but the idea was that she was devoted, wasn’t it? She would do anything to keep him, and they were able to make every moment together special.” As he listened to her, he couldn’t help but catch a glimpse down the space between her shirt and tanned skin, catching sight of the full, curvaceous breasts and the narrow gap between them, begging to be explored. He began to feel a familiar pulsing in his loins.
“And though they didn’t have much time, it was still the best few months of their lives,” he agreed, though he was no longer sure which couple they were talking about now.
Carey smiled up at him. Neither said anything for a few minutes, resting contently on the couch in the silent house. The hand on her side began to make slow squeezing motions, grasping her soft flesh lightly under her shirt. In response, she gathered her fingers at the top of his exposed knee, spreading them outwards in one deft motion, sending shivers up his spine and causing the feeling in his crotch to tighten. With her head so close to him, he knew she could feel it.
“Making the most of it,” she murmured with a small smile. Her fingers moved up his pant leg, slowly crossing the ocean of blue, sliding over to the bulge at the front of his jeans. He gasped as she grabbed his cock with sudden force, the pressure only increasing his hard-on. It took a moment that felt like half an hour before her grip on him relaxed, and Dan let out a long breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. Slowly, her hand began to move up and down his length, making the muscles in his abdomen clench and unclench, his hips beginning to move rhythmically to her motions. His hand glided down her body, then slid down her pants to squeeze her ass over the silky fabric of her panties. He moaned as her hand began pumping faster, he gripping her bottom tighter like a stress ball as pleasure swept through him. Just as he was beginning to pant, however, her hand slowed, instead moving to the tip of his cock. Frowning, Dan opened his mouth to speak up, but he instead found himself emitting a groan and she massaged his head with her palm, making light circular motions over his jeans. He grabbed her ass cheek as his breathing came in long gasps, fingers diving into her asshole, making her lower body spasm and a sigh escape her lips before her massaging slowed.
He looked back at her, the willingness shining in her grey-blue eyes urging for them to keep going. Catching another peek down her shirt, he smiled; after giving her twitter a quick squeeze, briefly feeling the wetness in the panties separating him from her, he brought his hands up to slip off her shirt. Easing himself into a more comfortable position, he dipped his head to kiss the base of her neck, lightly sucking her skin as his lips moved downwards, massaging her collarbone and making their way down the cups of her white lace bra along the curve of her breasts. Shudders wracked Carey’s body as he nipped at the tender flesh, his tongue swirling around her nipple and dampening her bra. Stretching an arm out behind her, she held the back of his head, pushing his mouth into her hardened nipple, making him suckle on it. His hands went to work on her other breast, cradling and fondling it, fingertips sweeping over her dark nipple and tracing the shape of her curve, squeezing through her cleavage.
“Yes, yes,” she hissed between her teeth, eyes closed, back arching in ecstasy. Using her free hand, she deftly unhooked her bra, using her other hand to eagerly guide his lips to her other, now fully-exposed nipple. Cupping her breast in her own hand, she brought it up to him, her flesh swirling about his mouth. Bringing one hand down to the front of her pants, he could feel her wetness penetrating her pants as she moaned. Moving her waving black hair out of his way, he began kissing her jaw, lips moving up as his hands moved down to undo her pants, making her moan a little louder as he teased her earlobe, sucking it between his moist lips and exploring its shape with his tongue, feeling her shudder with pleasure against him.
Her panties now gone, he moved her naked ass from the couch onto his lap so she lay almost directly on top of him, knowing she could feel his boner against her lower back. Placing one hand on her hip, he used his other to spread her thighs apart so he could see her, drawing a deep breath as his excitement rose at the sight of her womanhood before him. Her breathing was coming in short and sweet in anticipation, and he was not about to disappoint; easing open the folds of her entrance, he gently slid his fingers up inside her, teasing her clit as he felt her damp walls constricting against him. Squeezing her pelvic muscles and moaning, Carey began moving her body up and down, moving the fingers inside her and, to Dan’s pleasure, grinding her torso against his erection. Wrapping his other arm around her exposed stomach, he moved through her, slowly bringing his hand in and out, feeling the wetness increase with each stroke as she began panting deeper and faster. He could feel her muscles contorting as she squirmed against him, moaning as she neared her climax. She made circular motions with her hips, making him move everywhere inside her, rubbing her clit as she moved against his tight dick, groaning his name as her muscles tensed. Breaths coming in quick, her body convulsed with the ecstasy of his stimulation, all built up into this release as she was overtaken by pleasure.
Releasing an “ahhhhh!” of ecstasy, he felt her juices flow out of her, washing over his fingers as her quaking stopped. One last deep shudder rolled through her body, her shallow breathing beginning to slow, breasts rising and falling with her breaths. Bringing his fingers to his mouth, Dan gave them a deft lick, loving her sweet taste, unable to help himself from sucking his fingers dry of the last drop.
“Mmmm, that was good,” she breathed, placing one hand on the strong arm on her abdomen, the other behind her head, slowly twirling her hair, now damp with sweat.
“Glad you liked it.” Dan found that he was panting too, feeling good for having brought her so much pleasure. Still, he was not fully content; he felt too full in his loins, his skin sensitive to even the slightest touch and motion of her body.
“Good; now it’s your turn,” she whispered, as if reading his mind. Eyes widening in surprise, he watched as Carey got up, flipping herself over onto her stomach and lowering herself to his groin, her bare breasts just brushing his thighs, nipples still hard against his skin. She looked up and gave him a seductive smile before her face disappeared from view, a shiver running up his spine in anticipation as she removed his pants and underwear.
She began laying light kisses on his dick. Starting at the head, she slowly brought her lips upward, just brushing his shaft with her swift pecks. When she got to the top, she gave his balls an experimental lick, tracing the shape with the pink appendage, causing his entire package to quiver. She then swept her tongue downwards, running the underside along his hard cock, making him moan with pleasure. Slowly, she inserted him into her waiting mouth, bit by bit, lips puckered around him. She ran her tongue along the underside of his cock, then began bringing her face forwards and back, rubbing him up and down. Moaning, breath coming quick, his hands dug into the couch beneath him, toes curling, feeling his muscles spasm, his lower body contorting as she sucked his stiff cock, pleasure spreading through him from where her moist lips caressed him.
She began working him harder and faster, her mouth clamped tighter so he could feel himself against her cheeks and palette, teeth lightly scraping against his flesh, and he knew he was coming closer and closer. Within moments, the stimulation was too much; he couldn’t hold it back any longer, and his cum seemed to explode from his dick, filling her mouth with his juices. Dan moaned as the satisfaction and feeling of utter bliss spreading from his groin to the tips of his fingers and the soles of his feet.
As he regained his breath, she was still lapping up his cum, lips and tongue light on his dick, though he felt the motions threefold in his sensitivity. As both began to relax and return from their high, she crawled up to him, coming to rest on his stomach, her black hair tickling him as she lay her head on the small of his chest, wrapping her tanned arms around him. All too aware of her perky breasts against the fabric of his shirt, he rested his arms in the downwards curve of her back, his fingers slowly massaging her skin.
“Thankfully, we still have time,” he said, smiling to her.
If you have suggestions for how I can make it better, please voice them, or even just saying what parts (if any) turned you on the most/least. Anything from reworking a single sentence to focusing more or less on specific actions/descriptions - I'd really love to hear your opinions.
Thank you, and enjoy.
Well-Spent Time
by Frosty Feline
As the credits began to roll, Dan turned the television screen off with the press of a button. Carey snuggled in closer to him, her head on his lap, fingers toying with the holes on the knees of his jeans, his free hand resting on her side.
“I liked that movie,” she said with feeling, her voice low.
“Really?” he asked after a pause, looking down at her with a slight smile. “But it had such a sad ending.”
He was incredibly aware of the movements of her head on his thigh as she nodded, making his skin tingle ever so slightly under the thick material. “Yeah, but the idea was that she was devoted, wasn’t it? She would do anything to keep him, and they were able to make every moment together special.” As he listened to her, he couldn’t help but catch a glimpse down the space between her shirt and tanned skin, catching sight of the full, curvaceous breasts and the narrow gap between them, begging to be explored. He began to feel a familiar pulsing in his loins.
“And though they didn’t have much time, it was still the best few months of their lives,” he agreed, though he was no longer sure which couple they were talking about now.
Carey smiled up at him. Neither said anything for a few minutes, resting contently on the couch in the silent house. The hand on her side began to make slow squeezing motions, grasping her soft flesh lightly under her shirt. In response, she gathered her fingers at the top of his exposed knee, spreading them outwards in one deft motion, sending shivers up his spine and causing the feeling in his crotch to tighten. With her head so close to him, he knew she could feel it.
“Making the most of it,” she murmured with a small smile. Her fingers moved up his pant leg, slowly crossing the ocean of blue, sliding over to the bulge at the front of his jeans. He gasped as she grabbed his cock with sudden force, the pressure only increasing his hard-on. It took a moment that felt like half an hour before her grip on him relaxed, and Dan let out a long breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. Slowly, her hand began to move up and down his length, making the muscles in his abdomen clench and unclench, his hips beginning to move rhythmically to her motions. His hand glided down her body, then slid down her pants to squeeze her ass over the silky fabric of her panties. He moaned as her hand began pumping faster, he gripping her bottom tighter like a stress ball as pleasure swept through him. Just as he was beginning to pant, however, her hand slowed, instead moving to the tip of his cock. Frowning, Dan opened his mouth to speak up, but he instead found himself emitting a groan and she massaged his head with her palm, making light circular motions over his jeans. He grabbed her ass cheek as his breathing came in long gasps, fingers diving into her asshole, making her lower body spasm and a sigh escape her lips before her massaging slowed.
He looked back at her, the willingness shining in her grey-blue eyes urging for them to keep going. Catching another peek down her shirt, he smiled; after giving her twitter a quick squeeze, briefly feeling the wetness in the panties separating him from her, he brought his hands up to slip off her shirt. Easing himself into a more comfortable position, he dipped his head to kiss the base of her neck, lightly sucking her skin as his lips moved downwards, massaging her collarbone and making their way down the cups of her white lace bra along the curve of her breasts. Shudders wracked Carey’s body as he nipped at the tender flesh, his tongue swirling around her nipple and dampening her bra. Stretching an arm out behind her, she held the back of his head, pushing his mouth into her hardened nipple, making him suckle on it. His hands went to work on her other breast, cradling and fondling it, fingertips sweeping over her dark nipple and tracing the shape of her curve, squeezing through her cleavage.
“Yes, yes,” she hissed between her teeth, eyes closed, back arching in ecstasy. Using her free hand, she deftly unhooked her bra, using her other hand to eagerly guide his lips to her other, now fully-exposed nipple. Cupping her breast in her own hand, she brought it up to him, her flesh swirling about his mouth. Bringing one hand down to the front of her pants, he could feel her wetness penetrating her pants as she moaned. Moving her waving black hair out of his way, he began kissing her jaw, lips moving up as his hands moved down to undo her pants, making her moan a little louder as he teased her earlobe, sucking it between his moist lips and exploring its shape with his tongue, feeling her shudder with pleasure against him.
Her panties now gone, he moved her naked ass from the couch onto his lap so she lay almost directly on top of him, knowing she could feel his boner against her lower back. Placing one hand on her hip, he used his other to spread her thighs apart so he could see her, drawing a deep breath as his excitement rose at the sight of her womanhood before him. Her breathing was coming in short and sweet in anticipation, and he was not about to disappoint; easing open the folds of her entrance, he gently slid his fingers up inside her, teasing her clit as he felt her damp walls constricting against him. Squeezing her pelvic muscles and moaning, Carey began moving her body up and down, moving the fingers inside her and, to Dan’s pleasure, grinding her torso against his erection. Wrapping his other arm around her exposed stomach, he moved through her, slowly bringing his hand in and out, feeling the wetness increase with each stroke as she began panting deeper and faster. He could feel her muscles contorting as she squirmed against him, moaning as she neared her climax. She made circular motions with her hips, making him move everywhere inside her, rubbing her clit as she moved against his tight dick, groaning his name as her muscles tensed. Breaths coming in quick, her body convulsed with the ecstasy of his stimulation, all built up into this release as she was overtaken by pleasure.
Releasing an “ahhhhh!” of ecstasy, he felt her juices flow out of her, washing over his fingers as her quaking stopped. One last deep shudder rolled through her body, her shallow breathing beginning to slow, breasts rising and falling with her breaths. Bringing his fingers to his mouth, Dan gave them a deft lick, loving her sweet taste, unable to help himself from sucking his fingers dry of the last drop.
“Mmmm, that was good,” she breathed, placing one hand on the strong arm on her abdomen, the other behind her head, slowly twirling her hair, now damp with sweat.
“Glad you liked it.” Dan found that he was panting too, feeling good for having brought her so much pleasure. Still, he was not fully content; he felt too full in his loins, his skin sensitive to even the slightest touch and motion of her body.
“Good; now it’s your turn,” she whispered, as if reading his mind. Eyes widening in surprise, he watched as Carey got up, flipping herself over onto her stomach and lowering herself to his groin, her bare breasts just brushing his thighs, nipples still hard against his skin. She looked up and gave him a seductive smile before her face disappeared from view, a shiver running up his spine in anticipation as she removed his pants and underwear.
She began laying light kisses on his dick. Starting at the head, she slowly brought her lips upward, just brushing his shaft with her swift pecks. When she got to the top, she gave his balls an experimental lick, tracing the shape with the pink appendage, causing his entire package to quiver. She then swept her tongue downwards, running the underside along his hard cock, making him moan with pleasure. Slowly, she inserted him into her waiting mouth, bit by bit, lips puckered around him. She ran her tongue along the underside of his cock, then began bringing her face forwards and back, rubbing him up and down. Moaning, breath coming quick, his hands dug into the couch beneath him, toes curling, feeling his muscles spasm, his lower body contorting as she sucked his stiff cock, pleasure spreading through him from where her moist lips caressed him.
She began working him harder and faster, her mouth clamped tighter so he could feel himself against her cheeks and palette, teeth lightly scraping against his flesh, and he knew he was coming closer and closer. Within moments, the stimulation was too much; he couldn’t hold it back any longer, and his cum seemed to explode from his dick, filling her mouth with his juices. Dan moaned as the satisfaction and feeling of utter bliss spreading from his groin to the tips of his fingers and the soles of his feet.
As he regained his breath, she was still lapping up his cum, lips and tongue light on his dick, though he felt the motions threefold in his sensitivity. As both began to relax and return from their high, she crawled up to him, coming to rest on his stomach, her black hair tickling him as she lay her head on the small of his chest, wrapping her tanned arms around him. All too aware of her perky breasts against the fabric of his shirt, he rested his arms in the downwards curve of her back, his fingers slowly massaging her skin.
“Thankfully, we still have time,” he said, smiling to her.