Fuck!!!!!!

[NaughtyKenn]

Fuck being the operative word darling!!! efg

[Dragola]

I always fucking miss everyone nowadays....

[davesmistress]

I fucking do also....Dont feel bad.

[NaughtyKenn]

Let the fucking begin!!!

Or is this just a mind fuck?

[davesmistress]

Heellloooo Kenn.....it has been a slow fucking day for fucking...hahahahaa

[frozen_north]

Howdy howdy. Well, it looks like I fucking missed everybody again. sigh.
As for the tale I started, I got an idea and am going to use the experience (and one more if she'll do it again) and make a story out of it. it should be posted in a couple of days. :)

[Suthernlady]

Well fuck get to work...fucking minds want to know!

[JackBNimble]

What the fuck is wrong with people? Does everyone have their fucking head up their ass?

Thanks for fucking nothing!!! :SHOCKED: :biggrinbandit:

[frozen_north]

Wtf?!?!?!?

[davesmistress]

hahahahah That sounds like a good fucking Idea Frozen...Make a fucking story.

[frozen_north]

Thank you dahling:) It's going to be one of those "inspired by true events" stories. It was fucking HOT! My wife is going to help me do a little more "research"!! :)

[davesmistress]

Hee hee well thats cool....Yes much research is sometimes nessecary...for a good fucking story and Time...hahha

[frozen_north]

good...yes. Very, very uncomfortable though...

[HeavyLanceLover]

I just fucking hate it when fuckbags fuck up your fucking plans!

FUCK YOU!

[freedom37803]

There's lots of fucking people like that around.

[frozen_north]

where did everybody fucking go???

[Suthernlady]

I'm fucking here...for now....

[SirSexAlot256]

Fuck me! It should not be this fucking Hot in Fucking Michigan. Fuck you broken Air Conditioner!!!! Fuck You!!!!!!

[frozen_north]

Maybe you should come the fuck up here. It's only about 55 fucking degrees at the moment. :(

[davesmistress]

Id love 55 compared to the Fucking 100's.....It is tooo fucking hot.

[frozen_north]

it's too fucking cold here. I'll take your hundred and raise you a fucking glacier!! :)

[davesmistress]

Hahahahah Well I dont need a fucking glacier...but I wouldnt mind the 55.

[frozen_north]

Well, with a fucking glacier in your back yard you'll have the 55. Who the fuck needs air conditioning when you have the worlds largest ice cube in your back yard:)

[davesmistress]

hHAhahaha that is very fucking true...hahahahaha

[frozen_north]

fuck it, what the hell, come on up here and cool down:)

[davesmistress]

HAhaha I think if did that...Me might melt them fucking glaciers...hahahaha

[frozen_north]

You that fucking hot eh? Well come on up then:) (or pm me some naughty pics :) )

[davesmistress]

Hahahahah Ohhhh I am not the Naughty picture kind of gal....Sorry that is an in person thing only.

Way to shy for that....that is why just a regular picture of me is posted on the site.

Ohhhh FUCK

[frozen_north]

Fucking where?!?!?!?!?!?

[HeavyLanceLover]

Down here in Bama. It's a scorching 90 something today.

My fiancee and I took a stroll in the fucking park and smoked a fat ass fucking joint.

Then we walked down some long fucking trails and up some big fucking hills and looked at all the nice fucking scenery.

I'd look around and just say " Fuck, this is so fucking peaceful man." and he'd say " Right fucking on."

[:
:]

[davesmistress]

Fucking where?!?!?!?!?!?

'HAhaha I thought you had seen plain ol me...hahha

It is in post a picture on the first couple of pages.


Oooops fuck

[freedom37803]

You fucking need to add new ones...if I can do it...you can too...lol

[davesmistress]

Hahahaha I have to have one of them there digital cameras...I do not have one of those...hahahah

Ohh I hate that....FUCK

[freedom37803]

i can tell you are fucking heartbroke about that DM...lol

[LeakingBlkHeart]

I fucking bet...and fucking shit I need one too

[frozen_north]

How the fuck are y'all?

[frozen_north]

There's nobody fucking here.:(

[freedom37803]

like I said before...sorry...fucking laundry...lol

[frozen_north]

oh, THAT fucking excuse again... :)

[Cyn]

I see that I found the fucking post the gets our fuck on..

that was kinda fucking lame but what the fuck I am working

[frozen_north]

sometimes you've just gotta say "What the fuck."

[davesmistress]

hahah Welcome to the land of FUCK Cyn...glad to see you made it.

[frozen_north]

He got here and fucking died!!!

[Suthernlady]

Frozen...it's just fucking dawned on me....glaciers...frozen north...where are you? Do you have a fucking red coat and hat and eight tiny reindeer in your fucking back yard too? If so...I am sorry I cussed....I promise to be a good girl....;)

[frozen_north]

fuck dear; you're always a good girl. Don't worry, I'll bring something extra-special for you this year:)

[Dragola]

I think he's in fucking Alaska

[frozen_north]

Who, me?? No fucking way:)

[geroxx]

Today was a real hot humid fucker.

I sure fucking hate the fucking humidity. I'd rather it be a fucking 100 degrees with no humitity then it fucking being 90 degrees with 90% humidity. Now I have to go take a fucking shower. :uhoh3:

[frozen_north]

make it a fucking cold shower.

Where the fuck ARE you?!?!

[wyldbrdmn25]

this post fuckin sucks, i had no idea what to write

[frozen_north]

any fucking thing you want:)

[davesmistress]

hahahaha There are no bad posts in this fucking thread...thats what is so great about it.

[frozen_north]

ain't it the fucking truth? :)

[geroxx]

make it a fucking cold shower.

Where the fuck ARE you?!?!


I'm in fucking Dallas Texas on a fucked up job that won't end for another fucking month. It fucking sucks as I don't know too many fuckers that I can fuck around with here.

:SHOCKED:

[badlybent]

What a fucking day. I had an eye exam which fucked up my eyes with that dilation crap and had to hide inside out of the fucking sun all fucking day. Up here lost sunny days are a tragedy.

[davesmistress]

Well that does sound fucked up Bent.....sorry to hear that.

[calisportbiker]

Top post on the page reminds me of ten years ago visiting southern Texas. Got off the plane, rubbed my fingers together and they were sticky after five seconds. Shirt was drenched in sweat after a round of golf. Nasty area.

[wizardwriter]

looked at some while registering, did not see-
fuck me sideways, you ass-backward fuck-
dude fuck?
dudette fuck?
being a californian these have a different meaning-
fuck, dude!
a fuckin' dudette!!!
and a favorite on our freeways-
you drive like a monkey fucking a coconut

[davesmistress]

Hahahahha welcome to the Forum and this Fucking thread

Thanks for the fucking additons....hahahahaha

[frozen_north]

howdy fuckers. Where the fuck are y'all.
And to think, fuck only has a sexual connotation...

[Suthernlady]

Well on this thread the word FUCK can mean anything you want it to mean...sexual or not....

So how the fuck is everyone today?

[frozen_north]

Pretty fucking good. Did you read the post about "fuck" in the general discussion forum?

[davesmistress]

Howdy folks...great to see you all having a great fucking time.

[frozen_north]

fuckin-a right it is:)

[wizardwriter]

fuck me to tears, or fuck me silly, your fuckin' choice, then fuck me sillier.
Now, that's having a nice fuckin' day!

[frozen_north]

:) welcome to the fucking thread wizardwriter :)
Jump on in and have some fucking fun.

[davesmistress]

Ok..it is too fucking hot...tooo early in the Summer...I hate it.

[frozen_north]

Hey, after the fucking winter we had here, we need some fucking heat.

[Suthernlady]

Fuck yes Frozen I saw the article on fuck by almighty Bent One....I said my peace over there.

Yanno when I fucking started this thread I anticipated everyone kinda telling us how they used the word fuck in there everyday lives...then poof off it would go into the archives....have to say this fuck thread has amazed me! Ya'll are pretty fucking great!

[davesmistress]

Its amazing...how the completely off the fucking wall threads are the ones people like

[Suthernlady]

aint that the fucking truth....;)

[wizardwriter]

I didn't know how much I used the word 'fuck' til it was the about the first word my two grandchildren learned, and I have a third one who should be starting to use it any day (I'm their daycare, and have no one else to blame)
What the fuck are you going to do?

[davesmistress]

HAhaha try using Frick around them instead of FUCK...hahahahaha

Thanks for the post

[Suthernlady]

Wizard you got me too tickled with that post....reminded me of my oldest daughter...when she was about 4 maybe 5....she came in the kitchen one day and said mommy can I ask you something? I said sure and she said....how come to you it's the F word and to daddy it's fuck?

I was speechless and never answered that question....lol! I think we watched the Wizard of Oz for the 545th time since her birth instead....

DM why you up so fucking late....?

[wizardwriter]

I'm just a fuckin' old rock n' roll dude, frick ain't gonna fuckin' cut it. I've an image to uphold, long-haired rebel to the fuckin' end

[wizardwriter]

I got the name Wizard about twenty years ago when I decided to branch out with a construction company and woke up half hung-over as usual with the idea of Wizard Construction, and a motto: WE CAN FUCK IT UP SO FAST YOU"LL THINK IT"S MAGIC
Printed up some business cards and they were passed out throughout California, Nevada, Oregon, and even Washington. At least two or three times a year I still have people recognizing me as that crazy fuckin' Wizard
P.S. gotta ton of work with them, and for a lark put the fish symbol then a circle and strikethrough, for them poor unfortunate folks who woke my fuckin' ass up on a Saturday morning to show me the way

[davesmistress]

Wizard you got me too tickled with that post....reminded meof myoldest daughter...when she was about 4 maybe 5....she came in the kitchen one day and said mommy can I ask you something? I said sure and she said....how come to you it's the F word and to daddy it's fuck?

I was speechless and never answered that question....lol! I think we watched the Wizard of Oz for the 545th time since her birth instead....

DM why you up so fucking late....?

Sometimes I am just a fucking nightowl....mainly on my days off.....hahahaha

[Suthernlady]

Well fuck....I was beginning to worry about you DM....being up that late and having to work....now I realize it's your off day!

Wizard...that's an awesome slogan for your construction company....I love imagination and good advertising schemes.

[wizardwriter]

About ten, maybe fifteen years ago, on mere suspicion I got pulled over and popped coming out of a golf course well after dark, and was at .062, not wanting to cut my hair, shave, or wear a fuckin’ suit I pled ‘no contest’ to driving impaired

Judge fined me twelve hundred, took my license for 6 mos., and sent me to drunk driver’s school-

I say, ‘you can have my license, I’ll cut you a check, but I’m not going to drunk driver’s school.’

He asks, ‘Why not?’

I tell him, ‘I already know how to fuckin’ drive drunk.’

He has a fit, and gives me 30 days, then smiles. ‘What do you think of that?’

Returning his smile I said, ‘Fuck you!’

With no sense of humor he went off like an old Titan missile, even broke his gavel beating on the bench, screaming of my flagrant disregard for the law. Everyone in court is laughing, and when it quiets down I now had 60 days. He then asked, ‘You have anything to add?’

‘Ah,’ I put my black Stetson on, ‘I don’t give a fuck.’

Thought he might have a stroke, and once he returned to his normal pasty white I wound up him taking my license for a year, a three thousand dollar fine, and doing 120 days, with no good time (which there isn’t ever with me). I appealed on the basis he was an asshole, and this judge almost had a sense of humor when he read the transcript, still lost my license for 2 years, pair five grand, and did eleven days.

So, it’s nice to find people who enjoy my sense of humor, and I still didn’t give a fuck (watching him turn all those colors would have been worth twice that).
Wizard

[frozen_north]

Lol, that would have been fucking priceless wizard. I would have fucking paid MONEY to see that:)

[wizardwriter]

Being a long-hair since '68 I've found nothing pisses folks off more than the word 'fuck' and it's cost me a lot, but I've had fun with it. Always been quite intimidating, 6' tall but have no neck, I'd be 6'4 if I did. My standard reply to those churchies silly enough to stand on my doorstep is, 'Lets get serious, do you really want someone like fuckin' me in your church? Do you guys happen to serve fuckin' beer?' I never have to argue about the bible with them (which I do know a fair share about), they're usually backpedaling pretty fuckin' fast.

[NaughtyKenn]

Good Fuckin stories WW.

And I have to say right now, fuck my damn computer and my fuckin internet service.

[frozen_north]

Well, fucking fix your computer:)

btw, the dam thread is on the other site :)

[wizardwriter]

Hey, my computer don't like me fuckin' with it-
Just stated on one of my stories sites we have an S&M realtionship, my pc likes fuckin' with me and whipping my ass-
And I agree fuck my internet service, but what are you going to do? Go back to the post office and telephone? Fuck that!!!

[frozen_north]

nah, just say fuck it.

[Zeque]

Want to know a real sad fucking story?

My god damn fucking computer impolded! Yeah, mother fucking video card fried! smoke and all that shit...well, it was cuz the fucker was too new for my old peice of shit that was artfully named a computer...I swear I said fuck more times then all the times people have said 'fuck' in this fucking thread! My post included...btw, nice story about the judge...too bad I missed it, I woulda stood up and said, 'Sir, you're a fucking asshole without a sense of fucking humor' Then my ass would be in fucking contempt, but who gives a shit anyway? morol of the story...computers are fucking assholes that dom the shit out of everyone!

[davesmistress]

Glad to have you in our fucking thread.....that sounds like a real drag....Yikes

[Zeque]

How could I not join this crazy fucked up thread huh? The word FUCK is just so fucking awsome that it must be used as much as fucking possable.

[davesmistress]

hahahahah I fucking agreee

[wizardwriter]

The first time I got a program that would lit my computer talk during functions I programed stuff like 'Ah Fuck Dude,' (Opening a program) You Fuckin' Moron, I'm Gonna Crash, (when there was an error) and when signing off it said 'Fuck You.' Among others It was all in a female voice, and my wife asked, "What the fuck did that thing just say?'
People came over and would say, 'Why is your computer cussing you?'
I's say, 'It's like a myna bird, and that's all I do to the fucking thing.'

Zeque- (crazy athiest)- thought that was a fuckin' oxymoron- always heard it was crazy churchies, but don't get me fuckin' started I'm teetering on the brink of fuckin' sanity already

[Zeque]

Well Fuck! I couldn't think of anything else at the time ok?! Wrote that at four in the fucking morning...there, changed it to something better, so be happy with it! Fuck!


and just one side note...FUCK!

[davesmistress]

hahaha you can put whatever you want in that spot as long as it isnt a link or anything breaking the rules....

welll forgot my fuck

[NaughtyKenn]

How the fuck is everybody?

I got into a fuck you fight on the freeway this morn on my way to work. Its an onramp that funnels two fucking lanes into one. I was being nice and let one car get on in front of me, but this stupid fucking cunt hore tried to squeeze in too, there was no room for me and nowhere to go. She had the fucking nerve to honk at ME and flip me off. Of course I returned the favor and next thing you know we are having freeway sex with the birds flying freely. I could tell she was fucking PMS pissed off which just made me laugh even harder. It just so happened she got off at the same exit as me and I pulled up right beside her. Fuckin bitch wasn't so brave then, wouldn't even look over at me anymore and I think I scared her so much she ran the fucking light. LMfuckingAO!!!

[davesmistress]

Hahahahahaha tooo fucking funny...hahahahha

[wizardwriter]

Come on Kenn, you don't sound like a So-Cal newbie, sounds like another fuckin' day on the road-
Oh, I knew you weren't in LA when you said this went back and forth a ways, LA you'd be at a fuckin' standstill for a while, hell probably still would be- Only place I had to get up two hours earlier to get to fuckin' work, that's like a fuck you twice-
Next time get yourself a sign- show me your titties and all is forgiven. Hell, I'll let you cut in tomorrow, too- Now, if it works properly, that's how to go to work- Stuck on the Santa Ana I used to flash chicks, chest only, can't get into a fuckin' police chase at rush hour, then ask them for a peek, only got three, well four, but fourth was from granny in the car on the other side of the hot chick,but hell it made the time pass faster.

[Suthernlady]

Kenn...You and your fucking road rage...did you take that fucking quiz....nm you will fail for sure! And what you doing calling some strange woman a cunt? That's not very fucking nice hun. ;)

Btw....speaking of fucking flipping the finger....Sunday...I was watching the fucking Nascar race...held in Sonoma California...it waslike a cross country track....lots of curves. Anyways...my man Juan Pablo Montoya and my other man Jimmie Johnson got in a bumping match....Pablo started it. Well after the initial Jimmie bump him back...Jimmie turned his car a slight bit to the right....to send Pablo a fucking message.....you can only guess what that was. Uh huh....he did...he flipped him the bird....in a sportsman like manner....gotta fucking love racing....

[NaughtyKenn]

Hey, she wasn't fucking nice, I mean she was trying to run me off the road into the lagoon. I call a spade a spade and a cunt a cunt, and you know how I feel about that word!!!

That was pretty funny, ol' Jaun messed with the wrong guy there. Jimmie's not the Nextel Champ for nothin you know!

[Suthernlady]

Well when I get fucking get bumped...I just thrust a little forward to receive fuking impact a bit better...does that make me a cunt....hehehehe!

and who knows maybe that lady wanted to play big foot with you in the fucking lagoon....efg!

[wizardwriter]

SL- You watch it even if it's in a stadium full of Cal. wine-sippers

Personally I'm thinking it should be our national symbol, fuck that eagle, fly the bird! Yeah, mother fucker you ain't blind that's us, F-fuc-ck-k Y-you-u!!

Hell, that's what we do anyway, might as well not be fuckin' pussies about it.

SL- I'm old school, you don't use the C-word, unless you're ready to fukin' duke- stranger or not, didn't even use that on the street- Don't be calling my whore a fuckin' cunt (followed closely by shots).

Use it at home, best stock up on some lube, ain't gonna be seeing any fucking pussy for a while. Not only that she tells all her friends, "You know what that fuckin' cocksucker called me, a cunt, that fuckin' prick mother fucker." (I know it don't seem fair, but that's the fuckin' female mind in action).

Now you can't even go over to your friends houses, their old lady won't let you in, or if you get in they throw you out, "Get that mother fucker out of here, or I'm fucking gone."

Then you're down buying a shitload of flowers, so she'll quit putting the sprinkler on your truck seat. If she pitches them at you. you gotta go down and get some fuckin' jewelry and more fuckin' flowers-

One time with the first flowers I put the note, "Sorry, you're a fuckin' cunt."

Needless to say, that didn't fucking go over well, and I don't try to patch things up drunk, but the good thing was the sprinkler in my truck put the fuckin' fire out on the seat

[NaughtyKenn]

Ha ha ha, thats fuckin funny WW. But I do take issue with your CAl. wine sipper comment. I don't fuckin sip wine or drink it for that matter. Give me a shot of JD or a Jack and coke or a 7&7.

Oh and I agree, you break out the C word and shits gonna start flying. I don't use the word often, but I assure you, it was fucking appropriate here!!!

[Suthernlady]

WW....Well fuck I dont like the word either....I was messing with Kenn in a very dry satiracle way....

Personally the word is an insult....so your wife is right....sorry....

[wizardwriter]

Kenn- I believe you're not a Sonoma wine sipper- Go to a damn giants game they bring out little fuckin' trays to put their fuckin' wine and little cheese plates, fuckin' blockin' my god damn way, and spend so much time talk wine they don't watch the fuckin' game, get your yuppie asses out of my fuckin' way, don't clog up my beer line, and adjust your fucking seat between innings, it's hard fuckin' plastic what the fuck did you think it would feel like. whining piece of fucking shit?

Damn, I feel fuckin' better-

Sl- Hell, I knew I was way off base, but I got this evil twin Skippy-thing going, and she had been rather nasty and I wasn't doing that chick, but the little bitch kept calling my house stirring up shit, so I called her the C-word, which was legit, not the wive. But, it kinda snowballed after that.

Okay back to the race, being held in Sonoma, you didn't see them pan the box seats with those yuppies and fancy wine bottles?

Kenn- I know there's some of us good Californians left, but that neck of the woods they tend to make us look bad- I don't like going to a ballgame and seeing some dick wearing 'where's the Zinfandel?'
I spend the day beaning his silly-ass with peanuts and empty beer cups all day long

And trust me, i was messing with everyone, and no I never called the wife that again, hell, she ain't let me forget that time, and it was twenty-odd years ago, still that was a funny joke (in hindsight just mighta been better to pull it on someone else)

[Cyn]

this post is to fucking funny..

now lets go try out the naked fucking Twister

[frozen_north]

Naked fucking twister?!?! I'm in:) :)

[Zeque]

Fucking while playing twister with crisco! Hell yeah!

I say we get a big ass mat and invite everyone to a big fucking Twister orgy party!

[frozen_north]

Sounds fucking cool to me:D

[Zeque]

I knew it would, I mean fuck, who wouldn't want to go to that?

[frozen_north]

fuckin-A right!

[Suthernlady]

well fuck!

[wizardwriter]

Fuck! (way progression was going take away a work, right?)
See, ain't so fuckin' dumb,
trouble is, ain't so fuckin' smart neither

[Suthernlady]

you fuckin crack me up!

[wizardwriter]

It's my fuckin' job, (deep bow) ma'am.
Excuse me, can you help me straighten up? gotta really quit this fuckin' bowing shit

[davesmistress]

Hahahah sounds like Wizard needs some of that Fucking Icy Hot....hahahah

[Suthernlady]

Noooooooooooooooooo DM...not the ICY HOTT....!

[wizardwriter]

No, son used it and fuckin' burnt the piss out of him-
just give me a fuckin' beer, and a fuckin' straw, til I can stand the fuck up

[Suthernlady]

Burnt me too...no fun!

lol @ beer and straw!

[wizardwriter]

Well, now I don't give a fuck about standing up,
Thank you kindly SL

[davesmistress]

Ok Ok no fucking Icy Hot...they make it sound so soooothing on the TV....

[wizardwriter]

Hey, beer's a fuckin' cure-all, I'm fuckin' up (I know there are two meanings, and they both fit fucking perfect) and can now get another fuckin' beer- Oh, it's fucking early, I need the tomato juice too, I ain't fucking uncouth, or nothing like fuckin' that ( I can say that because no one can see me givin' my nuts their fuckin' morning scratch-

[davesmistress]

Hahahahah oh shit he has arrived.....Good Morning Wizard.....scratching them nuts....I guess the Female equivalent would be scratching our fucking Boobs....hahaha

[wizardwriter]

Thought you ladies just rubbed your pretty eyes-
Oh, if you're thinking he forgot the thread-
You're fuckin' wrong DM- Top o' the fuckin' morn to ya'll

[davesmistress]

Hahahaha well top of the fucking morning to you alos.....:)

[wizardwriter]

Hey, got two fuckin' hands, don't mind help out with the other-
Ya'll did know I was talking about fuckin' helping out dudettes with booby rubs, not the fuckin' ball scratching, I know dudes like it just so, so I'm just goin' pass, and if ya'll need fuckin' help get a cat

[davesmistress]

hahahahhaha you are a fucking nut...hahahahahahaha

[wizardwriter]

No, just fuckin' different,
I'd got the damn message out faster, but I can only get one hand out of this fuckin' straight-jacket

[frozen_north]

Here, let me tighten that fucker up for you a bit...

[davesmistress]

hahahahahah too fucking funny...hahahaha

[Suthernlady]

Fuck....I am glad I didnt read this first thing...something about a man scratching his nuts at first site in the morning....well fuck....what if a lady scratched her crotch...that's not very appealing either. Not before caffiene in the morning anyway.

DM...when I take my bra off...I scratch my boobies....under the bottom. I do hate bras....and around the house I never wear one. But I always scratch my itch in private....

[frozen_north]

Wtf???

[zchez]

fuck the fucking fuckers!!!!!!!11

[Suthernlady]

Fuck ....frozen....read up ^

[davesmistress]

hahahah Me too SL....I never wear it at home...only out in public.....if I woke up scratching my cooochie cooochie...I better go to see the fucking Doctor.

[Suthernlady]

roflmao!!!!!! Fuck that was funny....coochie....coochie. Is that what was meant by coochie, coochie coo....lol!

[frozen_north]

sorry, my bad.

DM, just use some fucking garlic.:D

[wizardwriter]

Sl- woke up with me all you'd be scrathing is the back of my fucking head
Dm- I'll wait til after the fuckin' doctor's visit (that should count double)

[davesmistress]

Hahahah then Id have itchy stinky Garlic fucking pussy...ummm coochie...

hahahahah

[davesmistress]

Sl- woke up with me all you'd be scrathing is the back of my fucking head
Dm- I'll wait til after the fuckin' doctor's visit (that should count double)


Well I have a very nice smelling coochie...taste pretty good also....:biggrinbandit:

[Suthernlady]

rofflmao! I am dieing here....

We've got scratching head now and garlic pussy..oooooooooooomg!

[davesmistress]

hahaha well its frozen's fucking fault...hahahahaha

[wizardwriter]

Hey, that was my fucking evil twin Skippy's post, but it's good to know DM, and I thought nothing fucking less

[frozen_north]

Back in your fucking straight jacket you!!!

Excuse me, I gotta go get some spices...

[Suthernlady]

ah I see ...frozen...blame it on him...

oops keep getting to say fuck...welllllllllll FUCK...y'all are a fucking hoot today!

[wizardwriter]

And I'd scratch my itch in fucking private, as long as it only itched in fucking private-
Oh fuck, they're coming again

[Suthernlady]

Oh fuck...speaking of spices.....word of warning....NEVER EVER give a man a blow job after you have been eatting cajun food....especially crawfish with seasoning....NOT GOOD....LOL!

[davesmistress]

hahaha yes when all else fails blame it on a man...welll Fuck

Sometimes that word just doesnt work in my statement...hahahahaha

[frozen_north]

HOLY FUCK SL!!!!! Don't even SAY that!! JHFC!!

[davesmistress]

Hahahah Oh my...I can just imagine....hahahaha

[Suthernlady]

Fuck if I didnt almost get a divorce over it....lol! I mean he wanted one....and uh I oblidged....pssst...

It was kinda funny....if you could have seen his face and how fast he got outa bed to shower....lmao!

[wizardwriter]

On the other hand, if you're not fucking inclined to be giving a lot more to said victim, seems like a pretty good fuckin' tactic to accomplish said goal- (Just a thought)
Tonight's fucking creamed spinach night, if they drowned that fuckin' in ranch-fuck-dressing, I'm gonna fuckin' explode

[davesmistress]

Hahaha probably trying to blow on it himself the whole fucking time...hahaha

[davesmistress]

YUCK....spinach is fucking gross....like turnip greens and polk salad.....might as well go out and mow the lawn and throw it on my fucking plate...hahaha

[Suthernlady]

oh fucking lawdy!

[frozen_north]

DM, you eat mac&cheese with ketchup, and you say spinich is gross?!?!

[wizardwriter]

Certainly the nastiest fuckin' thing I could think of, besides them mountain oysters, breaded or not, fuck me!!

[frozen_north]

trust me, there are worse fucking things.

[wizardwriter]

Oh, I know, but fucking don't want think of them either. Chills running up my fuckin' spine-
bad enough, I'm thinking of a fucking cajun blow-job

[frozen_north]

I know. Fucking scary, isn't it??

[davesmistress]

Spinach is so slimey....it took me 2 days once to eat that shit when I was a kid...my step mom was a bitch and made me drink the juice and all.....it was fucking gross.

[wizardwriter]

Hey, that's the way it was, 'don't eat it now, you'll have it for breakfast' my mom's favorite saying, and sure as shit, that nasty fucking shit was back on my plate, then she sent it off with me to school- And I got my ass beat before bed- I sat there staring at the shit for 4 days, til she put it where it deserved to go 'in the fuckin' trash.' Then she found out I'd been cutting school and going down to the store to shop lift food, which got me another round of ass kicking-
Now child abuse- then good parenting skills- go fuckin' figure
Fuck spinach, and fuckin' Popeye

[zchez]

fuck out of beer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[wizardwriter]

oh shit, you're fucked dude!! Haul ass, before you fuckin' thirst to death, shoulda saved one for the fuckin' drive down-

[frozen_north]

where the fuck did everybody go??

[davesmistress]

no fucking idea....freedom had to hit the road for a bit

[frozen_north]

I hate when that fucking happens.

[SirSexAlot256]

Spinach can be fucking good. In Spinach pie anyways.

[Suthernlady]

I have been fucking reading what i missed the past few hours...I have to say...this thread just gets better and fuckin better. You are all on a roll ...keep up the entertainment!

[wizardwriter]

Oh fuck, don't get these folks fired up SL, I didn't get shit done all fuckin' day, can't get the spinch, mayo, mountain oyster thing outta my fuckin' head-
top it all off I keep wondering about that cajun blow-job, how long does it take to figure out something ain't fuckin' right?

[wizardwriter]

Fuck, the missus' alarm goes of early, and I fucking wake up in my usual condition- So, palm a titty and give her a poke, poke-

this brings about 1 of 3 things-
1- she spreads her legs a bit, meaning further work is needed, perhaps a trip south-(hell, I can fucking hang with this)
2-she rolls on to her side, meaning I can sneak-attack, but I'm going to get the blame later (hell, I can fucking' live with this too)
3- Whack! (this is my least fucking favorite) 'Told you I got to go to a customer's early, dammit, quit fucking poking me.'

Ain't gonna let that bother me. I reach down beside the bed, and pull a bill out of my pocket, it's a 20, I wave it. 'Now, I'm a customer, what's this get me?'
She snatches the 20, then whacks Mr. Stiffy like she's fucking playing t-ball, not once, but thrice-
I'm like, "Fuck me, glad that wasn't a 50, I could barely take 20 dollars worth."
She heads for the shower mumbling, 'fucking crazy old bastard.'

While she's in the shower, I take a piss (seat up, I’m well-fucking-trained, put it down too, after not during) and have 2 options-
1- flush the toilet and turn the water on at the sink, spikes the fucking cold water- trouble is, gotta do both and she'll know it's premeditated, and I can forget about scoring for the next fucking 24 hrs easy
2- a witty fucking retort (my choice) 'Honey, I'm not crazy just a little touched. You want to get a little touched?'
My reply was a cold shower, (I really gotta get rid of that fucking hand-held shower massager), but the missus likes it, gets her fuckin' hummin' and cuts down on the foreplay (not that I'm the fucking impatient sort), but if corners can be cut, what the fuck!

Anyway, that pretty-well took care of my fucking morning problem-
Oh, and for those fucking siding with the missus, just remember, not a snowball's chance in hell, I'm ever going to see that fuckin' twenty again-

So, I'm here to give everyone a wake the fuck up!!!

[Suthernlady]

geeeez my morning has been fuckin crazy...then I get here and read this. Too fuckin funny...well I know you had needs but heck fire...she had to see a customer.

However I will say...someone slap me the day I turn down my s.o's hard dick poking at me. Gotta always be time for a quickie when nothing else is possible.

[wizardwriter]

you'd fuckin' think!!
She was already running late, and I coulda started fuckin' early- she insists I just want it when I can't have it, but seeing as i want it all the time that's a moot fuckin' point-
Hell, she owes me one, just hope she don't hear fucking about that cajun blow-job

[Suthernlady]

oh my lawdy.....hahahahaha! I should tell that complete story on here someday...but I just fuckin hate talkig about my dang ex....he was such a boo boo butt.

[frozen_north]

FUCK!! I missed 'em!

[wizardwriter]

I'm not too worried, unless she volunteers to give me fucking one, then all I'm going to think about is that fucking cajun blow-job, you've scarred me for llife SL
I'm not paranoid, cause shit like that happens- Have hayfever mother-in-law tells me try 10 drops of oil of some-fuckin'-shit from hell- I'm part-moron and do it, she read the fucking directions wrong it said 1-fuckin'-1, damn near burnt a hole through my fucking lip
Wife too, she says take these mega-calcium tablets from some fucking strange little shit island where they live to be a hundred, by eating this shit and grazing on fucking grass or whatever-
6 months later I'm in the E.R. thinking dying is looking pretty fuckin' good about now. Kidney stones, get the little fuckers to the lab and they were caused from excessive fuckin' calcium

You ain't fuckin' paranoid if they're really out to fuckin' get you

[frozen_north]

ain't it the fucking truth brother.

[wizardwriter]

Hell,damn near drove me fuckng north, and if this state gets any more fucked up I'll head up that way and live with the fucking penguins-

Everyone calm the fuck down I'm not that crazy, just a fuckin' joke, know perfectly well penguins are only found in fucking Australia!! fuckin' duh-h!!!

Hey, here's a joke, what do you get when you have a lunchable, my 1 1/2 yr. old granddaughter, and my wireless keyboard in my lap? A fucking mess, had no idea one of those little fuckin' packages could spread so far and so fucking fast-

Oh, Antarctica, the fucking penguin bit. See they let me out of my fucking straight-jacket now and then

[NaughtyKenn]

Fuckin hilarious

[frozen_north]

Ok, wizard, here's the fucking key to the lock.

[wizardwriter]

I'm free, look the fuck out!!!

[davesmistress]

hahahah Runs screaming for the exit...*Ahhhhhhhhhhh* oh fuck

[frozen_north]

sigh...
wtf?
Wizard isn't by chance a midget fortune teller is he??

[wizardwriter]

Nah, I'd be fucking closer to three midgets, at least two, but fuckin' crazy enough for three -
Don't need to get the midget cartel fucking pissed off, just a fucking joke
Don't need to worry about the fucking fortune tellers, they oughta seen it fuckin' coming

[frozen_north]

sigh...
If you were, you'd be a fucking small medium at large...

[davesmistress]

hahahahah frozen that is fucking crazy....hahahahaha

[wizardwriter]

Oh fuck, now I gotta worry about getting fuckin' knee-capped-
Hey, fuckin' frozen said it!!

[frozen_north]

Ok, I'm fucked now...

[wizardwriter]

Dude, looks like we better get used to fuckin' dwarf tossing

[frozen_north]

Nobody tosses a fucking dwarf!!!

[frozen_north]

I never realized it would be so fucking difficult to come by a photographer or artist around here.

[davesmistress]

Dont be fucking discouaged...Im sure somebody will come along...:)

[wizardwriter]

Aw it's Fucking Friday (would mean more if I had a real fuckin' job) oh well, in honor of this fuck thread I've programed the computer to listen to just fuckin' 'F' music, starting with Flogging Molly, then Faster Pussycat-

Now ya'll get the fuck up, it's fuckin' friday-

if I have time later maybe I'll dig up all the songs with 'fuck' in them (yeah, I got too much fuckin' time on my hands)

[wizardwriter]

Shit, I forgot to check the fucking paper, it is Friday, right?

[davesmistress]

Hhahahahah Yes its fucking Friday...Hellooo Wizard

[wizardwriter]

Thanks DM I can never fuckin' tell, and they could be trying to fucking confuse me

[wizardwriter]

Here's one for the What-the-Fuck department-
Legislators just gave themselves a cost-of-living increase $4,000+/yr. why?
Because they're so happy about passing the minimum wage bill, where those below poverty level get to add $2,000+/yr. to their wages-
Don't care how you look at it, that's fucked up- (plus I seen C-span, half them fuckers are sleeping, Don't blame them, because I've seen C-span, they're fuckin' boring)
We need to clean house, the fucking Senate too, or at least give us the right to vote for our own wages too-

Okay, fuck I feel better now, gotta go back to the fuckin' home- None of this woulda happened, but I had to look at the fuckin' paper to see if it was Fucking Friday

[davesmistress]

Hahhaha thats why I quit watching the news and such...too much fucking bullshit and drama....Like I care that Paris Hilton got out of Jail...its all they have to talk about?

[wizardwriter]

Yeah, even I saw something on it, and I'm pretty fast to switch it back to some sports, musta been one of those fuckin' annoying 'news' teasers, some adman oughta have his balls pounded fucking flat for dreaming up that fuckin' shit-
Only news I listened to are the Daily Show (Jon's the most saracstic fuck on TV)- and Real Time- (Ol' Bill fuckin' nails it)-

[wizardwriter]

Oh forgot to add, you'd think those fuck reporters would cover this Iraq fuckin' mess more than trying to get evidence of Paris' last fuckin' wax job

Okay, I'm fuckin' better now, get the cattle prod out of my ass, or turn it down a fuckin' notch

[davesmistress]

Hahahhahah wizard you fucking slay me...hahahahaha

[wizardwriter]

Swear-to-fuckin'-god I think SL made this Fuck thread specifically for fuckin' me- I'm the Champion of Fuck, and speak fluent Fuckese, and not afraid to let other fucks know it

[davesmistress]

hahahhaha maybe she did...had a fucking premenition....hahahaha

[wizardwriter]

While I'm fuckin' bitching- watching the Giants game some dip-fuck-shit runs out on the field, it's national policy to not show this on TV, because it glorifies the fuckin' nut case- but they got no problem showing some fuckin' nut shooting the shit out of a college so he can be some famous fuck- they oughta do like medival times hang the mother fucker in a cage and let him fuckin' rot-

Damn, I'm having a rough fuckin' day- think they're giving me fuckin' placebos again

[wizardwriter]

Fucking Saturday, what can you say? Ah, fuck yeah!!

[Suthernlady]

hey why the fuck isn't anyone fuckin around on this thread anymore. You fuckers arent gonna kill this fuckin thread...no way no fuckin how.

hahahahha to what Wizard said....you are fuckin funny!

[davesmistress]

Ohh it is tooo fucking hot around here....I am tired of this shit already

[wizardwriter]

SL- Don't go for all of us fuckers- King Fuck is around always (well, when they're not watching)

[Suthernlady]

Dm...I thought y'all never got too hot out there...yanno everyone says southern cali always has the perfect weather. I have to say though...to me...y'all couldnt get any hotter than here. y'all dont get the humidity...that's what is stifling. You lived over here once...which weather do you find most tolerable? BTW...I never asked you I dont think...are you originally from the south...like with our accent and all?

Hey King Fuck nice to see you!

[wizardwriter]

Nice to be fuckin' seen-
They say it's a dry heat, but that's only compared to 'melt my balls into my socks southern fuckin' heat'- you folks got some brutal shit- and most of us don't have to wake up and fuckin tread water for a day or two- and when we're talkin' about getting 'blown' we ain't talkin' no fuckin' tornado
I really need to check my fuckin' meds (hell, maybe it is the fuckin' heat)
*

[Suthernlady]

Hahahahah...too funny. We get blown alot here...in more ways than one.

[davesmistress]

No I was born and raised here where I am now....but my Mother was Born and raised in Shelby North Carolina and my Grandmother was From Virginia....I lived in Tennesee for 10 years...and every now and then I have a southern Drawl to things I say.'

Well I forgot my FUCK

[davesmistress]

Ok I also forgot to finish what you fucking asked me...

I hated the Humidity...it was horrid...but it is a miserable 100 degrees here, even the wind is hot.

[wizardwriter]

Family is from Texas still got kin there- and I know why they left, thats the most miserable fuckin' weather I've ever seen- one time I was in a sand/snow storm- shit coming in the cracks of your door- I can't figure out why they all didn't fucking leave (course being as i got some fuckin' slow kin might have something to do with it)

Fuck yeah!

[Suthernlady]

Weather's changing everywhere...I bet a few years back y'all never saw the hundreds. Looks like I will feel right at home when I get out there. Better go change my packing...I am used to bringing sweaters when I am there. Most the places dont run heat...and I get cold.

Well fuck...I forgot the fuck too! Lot of fucking good I am around here.

[wizardwriter]

Everybody in Texas is now pointing at each other saying, 'Hey that there California fuck is talkin' about you Bubba.'

'Uhn-uhn, he's fuckin' talkin' about you Bubba Jr.'

[Suthernlady]

Oh just saw your post Wizard....Texas is ungodly....they are definitely in a league on their own...weather wise too.....lol! All you Texans out there dont get upset with me...couldnt help it...it is hot though....miserably so.

Sorry about your kinfolk Wizard....I think we all have some of those stored away.

[davesmistress]

Well SL you better check with your other half....isnt he more toward the Coast?

I live in what they call a valley...nearest water is 2 hours away.....Oh Fuck

[wizardwriter]

No, most parts we always have hundred fuckin' degree days- far back as they can remember saying, 'Fuck, it's fuckin' hot.'
on the coast it's always cooler and in San Francisco 80's are a fuckin' heat wave-
Missus plays it smart and always brings a sweater, me I'm just lucky if I remember to get fuckin' dressed

*

[wizardwriter]

DM- sounds like Santa Ana breezes, where you expect it to cool you off, fuckin 'A' wrong- Do you got a 'wind heat factor' down there now, oughta fuckin' have, cause that's weird shit-

[Suthernlady]

Yeah I was just talking to Kenn...he said 70's nice there...cool 60's in the evening. brrrrrrrrrr.

[wizardwriter]

Used to go to a lot of ballgames at Candlestick, could be 107 in Sac, at the game 50 (course I was drunk, so I didn't give a fuck)
Took the missus and she packs like we're going to the fuckin' North Pole, i'm talking our boy and me go in looking like fuckin' Serpas, warmest night I've ever been there, so you never can fuckin' tell, and I know how you ladies like being right, so SL take a light sweater (course might be nice to have your honey give you his shirt)

Okay last couple weren't fit for fucks, I'm the King of fucks, but still a fuckin' gentleman (well, long as I'm not fuckin' scratching myself)

[SirSexAlot256]

Fuck me... I'm actually writing tonight.

[wizardwriter]

Is that better than- Write me... I'm actually fucking tonight.

[SirSexAlot256]

Nah... I'd rather be fucking than writing right now

[wizardwriter]

You can't multi-fuckin'-task

[Zeque]

Well fuck...I just havn't been coming here for past few days...no idea why I'd fucking do that. But yeah, I'm thinking about writing a fucking story, no joke, don't know what it will be able....proably two fuckers fucking like the animals they are.

[wizardwriter]

Ah fuck, it's Monday, the dreaded fuckin' day for most- to those of us un-fuckin'-stable enough to work a real fuckin' job, it's just another day

Now get the fuck up, and get this fucking Monday started-

Zeque- don't fuckin' talk- get to 'fuck' writing, what are they going to do arrest you? Ah, you don't live in a fuckin' blue state, cause they might, just remember no names, and someone musta hacked on to my computer I don't know nothing about those fucking stories

*

[Zeque]

Well I wrote the fucker, now go fucking read it! What fucking stories are you talking about?

Oh, my fuck story is in the lesbian section, why? Cause I like writing about two chicks fucking eachother, now go read the fucking thing I wrote at six in the fucking morning off the top of my fucking head!

[wizardwriter]

Fuckin' A

[wizardwriter]

Just need to get through fuckin' Tuesday for a little holiday- get the fuck up and go to fuckin' work, what do you think you're the fuckin' president and every day is a vacation (some-fuckin'-thing's wrong if a dude thinks any time at all in Crawford Texas is a vacation. he's gotta be into S&M)
Awright, it's fuckin' hot- get over it, it's all fuckin' downhill today- celebrate!! slap another fuckin' $20 in the gas tank so you can run your a/c for a fuckin' day

[davesmistress]

Hahaha if people didnt know better...they would think this was a mean fucking thread...hahahaha

[JackBNimble]

What the fuck is it with people expecting me to work today? Don't they know I'm on mental holiday already? Get the fuck out of the office and go have a beer for god's sake!!!

[wizardwriter]

I never minded working the 3rd - it was the fuckin' 5th that killed me- but being a good roofer I'd fuckin' show up, although most the time I'd find a bit of shade and pass-fuckin'-out for an hour or two, just remember head towards the peak, other way makes the fuckin' hang-over worse-
just another tidbit from Mr. Fuckin' Wizard

DM- after all the years of running companies I found you need to keep 'em under a tight rein or it's fuckin' anarchy (which isn't a bad fuckin' thing)

[HornyAlot]

Fucking Americans and their holiday we Brits have to work 3rd 4th and 5th of july :)

[wizardwriter]

Guess what horny, we don't fuckin' celebrate Viet Namese Indendence day? Know what I mean?-

Course give a fuckin' American a reason to get drunk and fire off shit we're usually fuckin'-Johnny-on-the-spot-

Now, race you to the fuckin' keg, you crazy Brit

[frozen_north]

LOL, Nuts!! It looks like I missed out on a fucking great conversation. sigh...

[wizardwriter]

(shake, shake) You ain't late frozen, keg ain't fuckin' floating yet, let's shoot fuckin' something

[frozen_north]

Sigh, I wish that I could. There isn't a place to buy fireworks literally within a thousand miles of here.

[wizardwriter]

I know you folks up fuckin' there, you just shoot at each other

[frozen_north]

Yeah, but .30-06 just doesn't have the sparkle that a fucking m-80 does:D

[wizardwriter]

Try fuckin' tracers-
down here they're advertising a rat-line, anything that goes off the ground do your fuckin' civic duty and rat them off- got them if you see someone fuckin' drinking in a vehicle- or taking a fuckin' roadside piss-
yeah, I'm fuckin' batting three for three- they get a lot of fuckin' calls about me, and wonder why I won't put plates on my fuckin' truck-

[frozen_north]

LOL, sounds like the fucking third reich down there.

[wizardwriter]

Yeah, we don't need to fuckin' worry about Big Brother, when they enlist all these fucking 'Little Sisters'-
When I got audited she told me I could get $5,000 off every name I gave her and waive the penalty if I gave up 5 people- told her 'fuck you' which got $5,000 tacked on, and me labeled as un-cooperative-

[Zeque]

The fucking wizard, coopertative? that will be a frosty day in hell...
Happy fouth mother fuckers! I'm gonna shoot some people with fireworks!

I love hearing the results normaly go like this.
Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck I'm on fucking fire!
Just a whole lot of screaming and other words in that too.

[davesmistress]

I hate Fireworks...epecially that fucking stuff that sounds like a gun...scares the crap out of me...hahahaha

[wizardwriter]

In SoCal it usually is a fuckin' gun

[wizardwriter]

Fuck, I missed Thursday

[wizardwriter]

Fuck me! When did I become a senior member? Is that like an AARP-fucking-thing? Oh shit, just a senior member on other site, I'm still fuckin' cool here

[davesmistress]

HAhahah Yes it is fucking exactly like that....Senior Member...hahahahaha

Remember you get a discount with that AARP thing,......hahahaha

[wizardwriter]

Fuck the discount I ain't admitting I'm fuckin' old

[frozen_north]

HOw the fuck is everybody today??

[larrykay63]

been off for 5 fucking days and i'm not ready to go back to fucking work tomorrow.